Shattered Silence in Law Enforcement Families

Barbara Sheehan, is currently in a New York Court, in the trial for her life. Back in November of 2008 I wrote about the case, and again in February of 2008, after her appearance on the Oprah show. In so many ways, her life reminds me of my own mother, silenced after years of abuse by my police detective father.

Ammunition and knives found in the nightstand of retired NYPD crime scene sergeant Raymond Sheehan. He told his wife his forensics expertise would let him get away with anything.

In February of 2008, Barbara Sheehan(pictured above) wife of New York retired Sgt. Raymond Sheehan was charged with second degree murder.

If it sounds simple it is not. If you think Barbara Sheehan could have easily planned an escape away from the violence, I can attest to the fact, her only exist strategy would have been in a body bag, hers.

This morning the 47 -year old Barbara was interviewed on Good Morning America with her daughter sitting beside her. As I heard the woman speak, it was no different from my own mother's words. And, Barbara Sheehan is the same age as my own mother, Roberta Murphy, who was also married to a homicide detective out of Chicago.

My mother was not so lucky. She was carried out in a body bag.

Growing up in an abusive police officer home does not stop when the officer goes on medical or retires. Often the abuse and violence can increase. My mother use to say "once he's off the job, things will be better." Instead, while he was on medical leave, my mothers life was pure hell.

My father stalked my mother. He constantly kept track of her every move. When she did not do as she was told, he found a way to make her "behave". This included my father informing my mother exactly how she would be killed.

So am I saying it is alright to take a life? No, I am not. But, in the blue world, it is not as easy as you may think to have an exist strategy or a safety plan. And in my experience with other officers wives in violent relationships, it comes down to a him or me survival. And to survive Barbara Sheehan lived in psychological terror and a constant battle zone behind the blue doors. No she made a police report or ever had him arrested, it would only fuel him further. And Barbara, knew it.

A police officers wife has a difficult time seeking orders of protection. Often, they cannot access the same avenue for assistance. And women in or married to those in law enforcement who are abused understand because they have been told by the abuser "they will kill them" and get away with it. Or "no one is going to believe them."

I could see and hear from Barbara Sheehans words and body language that facing prison is not going to be as bad as the hell of an existance she was forced to endure for so many years. She has hired attorney Michael Dowd who will be representing her in her trial scheduled for sometime in the spring.

Yes, he was shot 11 times while in the bathroom. It is likely that was the only time Raymond Sheehan did not have immediate access to the heavy artilary he owned. The bathroom was the only place you would not find bullets, handguns or knives.

I am on the stump on this tragedy. My father use to say what appears obvious to the world in the aftermath of a crime scene, may not always be how it really happened. Hands are a funny thing, when tested on a crime scene you have your answers one way or another.

Trial Stories and Coverage:

http://crimeaddicts.yuku.com/forums/239

http://www.wpix.com/news/local/wpix-daughter-tells-of-fathers-reign-of-terror,0,5879212.story

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/26/nyregion/an-abused-wife-or-an-executioner.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/22/nyregion/son-testifies-in-barbara-sheehans-murder-trial.html

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Barbara-Sheehan-trial-begins-accused-of-killing-her-husband-an-Irish-American-cop--VIDEO-129564298.html

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefoundmurdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up"from Courage Network on Vimeo.

If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

This book doesn't merely discuss when you should leave or why you should leave, it tells you HOW you should leave. The book has step-by-step instructions how to covertly make a plan, set-up a safe escape, deal with financial issues, and the paperwork. Susan even takes you line-by-line through the process, the forms, the legal issues...she takes you by the hand, and, believe me, when you are being terrorized and you are an basket case, you don't need vague ideas, you need specific instructions. TIME'S UPcan save your life and your sanity. If you need to get out, get this book before you make a mistake that could be fatal. It is money well spent.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

Amanda Graham Barker Locklear: Pattern of Conduct in North Carolina Leads to Murder?

Police responded to a call on August 10, 2011 of a shooting at the residence at 7:53 p.m. in Raeford, North Carolina.

This is not just another shooting death, it is a woman recently wed to a man who says he was in another room when the gun went off, claiming she committed suicide as her two young children were at the movies with others, and they were alone in the house.

Amanda Graham Barker Locklear, a former police officer, who, at the time of her death, worked for Cape Fear Valley Hospital as a "Life Link" Supervisor, and,by all reports, was a very happy and loving mother, likely did not take her own life.

The prior pattern of conduct of the officer involved in this case, Kevin Locklear, is disturbing, but may not be considered should charges be filed.

Before I receive all those lovely fan emails that often arrive when I post these specific cases of O.I.I.P.V. (officer involved intimate partner violence), let me be clear that this case has nothing to do with how well one might "believe" they know the parties involved. Or perhaps they "saw the happy couple together" and want to believe that a police captain in this small town is not capable of shooting anyone. We never want to believe someone personally known to us could be capable of such a horrific act. Consider this, if no one heard shots go off, as was reported, then no one heard any type of arguing or trouble behind closed doors.

In cases of intimate partner homicide, especially with prior history of O.I.I.P.V., there is often a pattern of conduct and behavior that is deadly. Many departments across the country do not have the enhanced training to investigate these cases properly, especially when the person in question has more crime and street experience than most in the same towns where they are commissioned as officers.

I'm concerned with the confidence in the SBI analysts in the North Carolina lab conducting a proper investigation after last year's shake up with over 230 cases of mishandled evidence; and I do not want to see the "good old boy network" working from inside the blue walls and dismiss important evidence in the case that should include ballistics, personal computers and cell phones among other evidence at the crime scene.

Kevin Locklear's pattern of conduct appears to date back to 1993:

PSPRO Chief Locklear was found guilty in the assault charge back in 1993 he appealed the verdict and it was overturned in superior court Fayetteville observer
Behind The Blue Wall, a fantastic site which chronicles officer involved intimate partner violence, posted the story from 2007, when the then Chief of police in Raeford, was ultimately fired for hurting his previous wife. Link- http://behindthebluewall.blogspot.com/2007/11/nc-chiefs-wife-erlina-locklear-said-her.html

From the site's administrator at Behind The Blue Wall, within the comment section under the story, are her words, almost like a prediction in 2007, which ultimately rang true in this specific case:

"EVEN if you are friends with Kevin - don't take sides like kids. Make SURE she has what she needs also - especially safety. Usually in police families there is a threat to the woman that if the abuse comes to light and threatens the job - that much worse will happen to her."

There is no question officers face a high amount of stress on the job and this spills over to their personal lives. When a relationship goes south for some law enforcement officers because the relationship is ending or crumbling, or perhaps the other person has met someone new, they lose control. Often losing that control can result in killing those closest to them. Some law enforcement officers commit murder and then turn the gun on themselves, while others, smarter than their counterparts, or so they believe, will take chances similar to betting the house at Vegas and wait until they are caught. Depending on their veteran skills and crime scene knowledge, some law enforcement officers have yet to be charged in the murder of a spouse or girlfriend while others are charged or dismissed from the force.

As a specialist in training, especially in cases in the area of O.I.I.P.V., I am far from letting go of this case. If Amanda's family would like to contact me I can be reached at murphymilano@gmail.com or click this link and fill out the form at nysleuth.com, or call 1-800-490-2267

I first learned about the pattern of conduct in O.I.I.P.V. cases, from a veteran Chicago police detective, spending 18 years on a crime scene I would soon rather forget, where officers always showed up but never made an arrest. No one ever believed my mother was a victim of O.I.I.P.V., that is until she was murdered in 1989. My father, as so many do across the country, would make good on his promise to my mother, "if you leave, I will find you, if I find you, I will kill you."

My training and work for over 20 years in the area of O.I.I.P.V. and high risk cases has kept victims alive, and those silenced, closer to justice after case work up, investigation and pressure to review information and evidence often missed by those without enhanced training as it relates to all intimate partner violence crimes.

It will be another week before results are available as to the cause of death by the Medical Examiner's Office.

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Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for interviews, please contact: ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com