"God Bless you, Susan McFarland"

Gone Forever is a story of violence and murder behind closed doors. The book written by author Diane Fanning shows us human behavior at its worst and why people stay in violent marriages that often lead to murder. Even when the acts by a spouse are unacceptable, people look the other way or assume that the person is just "odd." Friends and close relatives are naive and often believe that there will be a magical change in an abuser which as we all know never happens in the real world of family violence.

Recently, Diane Fanning wrote a guest blog on Time's Up regarding this case.

"When my readers pick up one of my books, I want them to see the victim as a real person—as someone who deserved to live their life to the fullest. Only family and friends can supply me with the anecdotes and the information about personality that enable me to shape a portrait of their deceased loved one and thus, allow my readers to understand the magnitude of the loss suffered by this crime."

"I have found through the years that the people who shared their memories and thoughts with me are grateful that they did. I’ve received many notes and emails thanking me for remembering their loved one in my book. Some of these people continue to maintain contact, years after publication.

The more in-depth information I can gather, the better job I do. When I wrote GONE FOREVER, I had an amazing treasure chest of information about Susan McFarland—access to her personal journal, a sibling’s perspective on her childhood and the memories of friends throughout her life. I felt a strong emotional connection to her. I wrote about this feeling in the Afterword of the book:

One morning while driving up Interstate Highway 35 to Austin, Susan McFarland became so real to me that I thought about how much more I would enjoy the ride if she were sitting beside me sharing stories and passing the time together. Then the realization struck—I would never be able to meet her. I would never bump into her in Central market. I would never laugh with her over lunch. I would never hear the sound of her voice or see the sunny glow of her smile.

At that moment, I was hit by a sense of loss so visceral; it took my breath away and formed pools of water in my eyes. The light of a life-enriching personality was snuffed out, never to brighten anyone’s day again. Gone forever—all because of the violent selfishness of one man.

To this day, I think of Susan when I enter the dark recesses of a crime—talking to killers, looking at crime scene photos, reading autopsy reports. She is my bridge to surviving family and friends, one that allows me to glimpse the inner strength and determination that many of them possess. She reminds me that her story has the potential to save the lives of other women. I owe her a debt of gratitude that I can never repay. God bless you, Susan McFarland."

Writing a book is a long process that is why I write blogs on victims so we can learn from their lives in hopes of saving others. But a published book is different it records the history and the details of persons life before during and after an event. For Susan McFarland and the other victims Diane Fanning writes about in her books, she also enshrines their lives in the Library of Congress for at least one hundred years, if for nothing else but to say their lives mattered before they were abruptly removed by another individual's rage.

Judge Antonio Viviano Denies Murder Victim Order of Protection

A Judge rejected request for restraining order against husband by woman killed in murder-suicide......

Just a couple of weeks ago a Detroit Judge denied Maria Djelaj and other members of her family a court order of protection. Perhaps it would not have stopped a bullet. But, the Judge heard this case, and read the pleading, he will have to live with the blood stained gavel for however, long he presides over these types of hearings. I am not blaming the Judge. But a legal justice system, badly in need of revamping, is the only solution .

All the discussions surrounding this murder will not bring back Maria Djelaj , Beloved mother of Gina, Valentina, John and Kristina Djelaj. Until the criminal justice system begins to see this as a crime, you can continue to expect many more funeral services to follow.

3/21/2008 -Christina Stolarz / The Detroit News
SHELBY TOWNSHIP -- On March 10, just hours after appearing in court with her husband for a divorce hearing, Maria Djelaj filed court papers seeking a restraining order against him.
"He came straight in my face and said, 'I will break every bone in your body,' " she wrote in the request for the personal protection order.
The request was denied by Circuit Court Judge Antonio Viviano a day later, in part because Djelaj did not raise the issue during the hearing that had just occurred, county officials say.
Nine days later, she was dead -- shot by her husband, Djerdj Djelaj, who then turned the gun on himself. The couple, who had four children, were found in a Chrysler minivan behind St. Therese of Lisieux Catholic Church on Schoenherr north of 21 Mile.
"It is a tragedy and it's sad that this couldn't be resolved through the court system," said Roberta Sarkis, Maria's divorce attorney. Macomb County Medical Examiner Dr. Daniel Spitz confirmed Thursday that it was a murder-suicide; there was no evidence of a physical altercation.
The toxicology report is due back in about 10 days.
Maria Djelaj, 38, died from two gunshot wounds -- one to the head and one to the chest -- from a 9 mm handgun.
Djerdj Djelaj, 47, was found -- still breathing -- in the driver's seat with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He died early Thursday morning at Henry Ford Macomb Hospital in Clinton Township.
Viviano could not be reached for comment Thursday. But county spokesman Phil Frame said Viviano did not grant the protection order because it had not been mentioned at the divorce hearing and there did not appear to be a need to act on it immediately.
"A lot of times (personal protection orders) are granted after a hearing. That would have been a good chance to raise that issue," he said. It's not clear whether the order would have made a difference, said Carmen Wargel, director of community development for the Mount Clemens-based nonprofit Turning Point, which supports domestic violence victims.
Turning Point's office for personal protection orders served 2,500 people in 2007, Wargel said. About 58 percent of the county's domestic orders were denied last year, she said. "Judges sometimes, they don't feel the PPO meets the standard for the law," she said. "They feel they need to have a higher standard for restricting someone's rights."