Brittanee Marie Drexel: A Prayer for Answers: Holding Onto Hope for Their Missing Daughter

The worst nightmare for any missing person's family is waking up each new day without answers.  For three solid years the family of Brittanee Drexel, 17 have prayed to God their beautiful doe eyed ray of sunshine would be found.

On April 25, 2009, Dawn Drexel, her mother received news her daughter was missing. Immediately from her home in Rochester, NY she drove to Myrtle Beach, SC.,looking for her daughter.

Brittanee had gone without her parents permission or knowledge with a group of older kids to Myrtle Beach for Spring Break.  Like most teenagers her age she'd thought her parents would never find out.

The kids secured rooms together at various hotels on the strip.  Approximately four kids to each room.  Brittanee was with her group at the Bar Harbor Hotel on Ocean Blvd., when she vanished.  She was captured and recorded on the Bluewater Resort video camera around 8:15 PM, and it was assumed she was returning back to her hotel the Bar Harbor.  But, she never made it back.  And all the kids that talked her into taking the trip and watched out for her by making sure Brittanee had money for food and always knowing where she was, suddenly threw another dagger at a distraught mother, the kids refused to take Dawn's calls when all she wanted information about her daughter.  Instead, the kids packed up and headed back to Rochester, NY, refusing to provide any information or cooperate with law enforcement.

This Saturday, the Drexel family returns to Myrtle Beach to plant and dedicate a tree in her memory.  Hopefully, they won't have to wait out another year of keeping their cells phones charged around the clock for when the call finally comes in to say Brittanee has been found.  You can bring her home.  This has been their prayer since April 25, 2009.  And the CUE Center for Missing person's have worked from the beginning enlisting their trained and certified search teams, working directly with law enforcement on numerous large scale searches to bring Brittanee home.  The Cue Center a national not-for-profit organization, is the light of hope for so many missing persons families across the county.  The Cue Center will also be in attendance at the tree dedication this weekend.

Please attend the Dedication for Brittanne Drexel out at Market Commons on the morning of April 28th 2012  (9:00AM)
Dawn and her Family will be there to help plant a tree and to dedicate a place for all to go and pray for Brittanne. The spot is at the Grand Park where the balloons will be.

This marks the 3rd year of still not knowing where Brittanne may be.
Come and be with her family to show support from all of us who live in Myrtle Beach, SC.

Any questions please contact Robin Holley at sunfunbeach@sc.rr.com or call 843-455-9645

Investigating Agency
If you have any information concerning this case, please contact:
Myrtle Beach Police Department
(843) 918-1963

or CUE Center For Missing Persons 24 Hour Tip Line 910-232-1687

Missing from: Myrtle Beach,SC
Missing since: 04/25/09
Classification: Endangered Missing
Date of Birth: 10/07/91
Age at disappearance: 17
Sex:  Female
Race:  White
Hair:  Brown
Eyes:  Blue
Height:  5’0″
Weight:  103 lbs

Holding My Hand Through Hell by Susan Murphy Milano

Summary

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and a daughter’s quest for justice long after the murder of her mother embracing a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Based on a true story written with the flow of a novel, with frank wisdom and wit, “Holding My Hand Through Hell” encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family's life and become an advocate for change. It will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers applauding this woman wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour and now 20 years later, realizing that God, after all was holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.

The book will be released in 2012. The forward for the book is written by Diane Fanning, Edgar nominated award winning true crime, fiction author.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy MilanoShow, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd.of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

In The Aftermath of Tragedy

By Susan Murphy Milano


Sometimes there are news stories that have an impact on us all months and sometimes years later. I recall how shaken I was at the time I read the news headline in 2009, “Domestic Violence leads to yet another death Anne Morell Petrillo. Forget, for a moment, that this 38 year-old woman who committed suicide was the daughter of heiress to the Scripps newspaper fortune.

In January of 1993, the then 22 year-old Anne found her mother Anne Scripps Douglas, 47, beaten and unconscious in the master bedroom of her New York home. Her mother never regained consciousness and died in the hospital a few days later. Anne’s step-father, a suspect, was not formally charged at the time for beating his wife to death with a hammer. He eventually committed suicide 3-months later jumping to his death from the exact same place that Anne Morell Petrillo chose to end her life.

In 1989, 5 years earlier, in Chicago, Roberta Murphy, also 47 years of age, would be discovered by her daughter, on the kitchen floor, dead with a bullet to the head. Philip Murphy, a decorated violent crimes detective, was in the bedroom dead of a self-inflicted gunshot to the head.

The question is, years after her mother’s murder why did Anne Morell Petrillo take her own life? Unfortunately, I know the answer.

The world expects surviving family members of homicide victims to transition the all consuming pain of loss into one of “getting on” or getting over the grief.” When a loved one dies under tragic circumstances the human mind plays the game of “if only I had gotten to the aid of that person” I could have saved them from being killed. If only I did not go out with my friends or not stopped for gas I could have somehow prevented the tragedy. A crime victim plays out the day, hour and moment leading up where the hands on the clock stopped moving to when they received the news or discovered the bloody body as if they were watching their lives while glued to a chair playing on a movie screen. The tragedy is paralyzing. Learning how to get out of one's one way in the aftermath becomes a daily struggle.

There are those who seemingly move past the grief like John Walsh whose son Adam was abducted and killed, Marc Klaas whose daughter Polly was sexually assaulted and murdered. But the truth is, they have not, instead each man has bravely channeled their energies to implement laws and hold the legal system accountable for those who prey on innocent and helpless children. Their “purpose driven life” is what allowed them to keep the grief and pain manageable, moving forward to help others.

As a society, there simply is no embrace in the aftermath of tragedy. Society dictates we all move on and as much as we try it is not possible to accomplish. Long after the lines of friends and family surround us in our darkest hour before our loved one is laid to rest, we as homicide victims are forced to proceed with our lives. Promises of remaining in contact by friends and family vanish when we attempt to talk about the tragedy or how much we miss the person. We are not invited out to dinner, nor called to see how we are doing. Instead, the survivor is pointed towards or referred to those in the mental health profession for guidance to assist them with the pain, because they too, those who knew us best prior to the tragedy, do not want to be reminded.

Many years have passed since the murder of my mother and suicide of my father. For me and thousands of others, each day is a constant struggle to find the hope and light that fuels our very existence.

Anne Morell Petrillo did not opt out of life because it was easy. She took her own life because society, those who initially surrounded and loved her, evacuated, taking with them the hope and light that she so desperately needed to survive.

As human beings we have an incredible ability to reach out to the others in our community, family, friends and strangers whose lives have been changed by events out of their control. The cost to us perhaps a cup of coffee and our time. This simple act of kindness is often the reason for those without hope to get up in the morning, because someone took time out of their day and acknowledged their existence.

****

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is a specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies and high risk cases and available for personal consultations through the Institute. She is also part of the team at Management Resources Limited of New York.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire.

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

The Keeper of Silent Secrets

No matter how many years pass after the murder of my mother, Roberta Murphy, I continue to be the keeper of her silent secrets. As described for the first time in a recent radio interview with Vito Colucci, -http://archives.warpradio.om/btr//Crimetime/060523.mp3

She lived in the silence of the violence just beyond the front door on Highland Avenue in Chicago. A vibrant neighborhood, where one could always find at least one fireman or policeman living on every city block. It was considered a melting pot of middle class families. The wife of a Chicago Violent crimes detective and mother of three hid her pain and fears from anyone who came in close contact with her. And if one looked closely enough, they could see the sadness and fear in her bright brown eyes. Her smile, infectious and disarming. Throwing off anyone who might want to ask if everything was alright. Roberta Murphy always made you feel and believe "she was just fine."

Throughout my childhood, although she had plenty of opportunity, my mother never once spoke a disparaging word about my father (pictured with her above). When he would do the unfathomable and beat her bloody, to the world and her children she held her head high, often making excusing for his violent behavior. As kids we were like confused animals under bright headlights. Unable to comprehend why she stayed. When I would question or ask "why does daddy do this to you"? Her response never made sense and I accepted our lives the way we survived as normal.

That "normal" would play like a national anthem in my own personal life as an adult. Keeping myself carefully guarded from the outside world so I could not be hurt physically by a relationship. I was already prepared for any emotional assault that would come my way, never realizing I accepted it because it was an invisible tattoo deep into the core of who I was.

As the keeper of my mother secrets I would never fully realize their destruction upon my life, until now. Those "secrets" were lifted like a celebration freedom dance in the street. Last week I finished the final chapter of the upcoming book "Holding My Hand Through Hell." The final copy is at the editors and is scheduled for release sometime in the fall.  What the book is about is described in the following :

Summary

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and a daughter’s quest for justice long after the murder of her mother embracing a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Based on a true story written with the flow of a novel, with frank wisdom and wit, “Holding My Hand Through Hell” encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family's life and become an advocate for change. It will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers applauding this woman wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour and now 20 years later, realizing that God, after all was holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.

http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/2011/07/house-on-highland-street-crime-scene.html

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

"Not In Our Hands"

Since the New Year I scheduled journalist and author of Fatal Vows, Joe Hosey on The Roth show and each time a snow storm or other last minute glitches prevented this from happening.

I kept my fingers crossed today, checked the weather, confirmed an hour before the broadcast with Joe he would be on the show. Great, I thought, finally. We begin the show and Joe Hosey had not called into the station, it was 7:04PM. Thinking he was delayed we opened with the missing mother case of Stacy Peterson. During the station break Dr. Laurie Roth and I agreed to discuss cases of intimate partner violence and homicide.

During the show I happen to look at the date. On the air I said "Oh my God," it is January 19th, a date that for me has great significance. The date and the year of 1989 is recorded in the Cook County vital statistics office in Illinois It is the death certificate of my mother Roberta Murphy, 47 yrs old.

Although she was killed on the 16th, her body was not discovered until the 19th. She was murdered. A victim of intimate partner homicide. The shooter, my father a decorated Chicago violent crimes detective, who ultimately took his own life.

My mothers murder is how I began working with others around the county. This was not a career choice. For the little girl whom was unable to save her mother, hundreds of thousands of women and their children are alive because of her murder, today.

I had planned over the weekend to somehow acknowledge the anniversary of her death, but I was on the road myself working and lecturing on this subject and literally landed at the airport an hour before the show.

Clearly, tonights crime segment for the hour was divinely guided by God. And likely a little nudging from my mother. It is also to say that everything good or bad in our lives, happens for a reason. Here on earth those answers, are found in the word of God and the kingdom he promises us when we leave this life. I myself have questioned, struggled often kicked and screamed with the whys and how come things happen the way they do since 1989. But again, it is not in our hands.

My mother's death would eventually be the key that opened doors for those affected by violence to leave safely. Because of her, the book "Times' Up: A Guide in How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships" takes those from the "State of being controlled to the "State of being in control." This means from the moment a person decides to end their relationship or file for a divorce from a toxic and perhaps dangerous individual. Learning the steps necessary to protect yourself self is key. That key to the door opened up to the world when an amazing woman, lost her life.

A day has not gone by that I am not reminded of her love and strength. Somehow she managed to pass on to me what she could never do for herself, fight. And that fight lives on in me for it is what has clearly, with the help of God, allowed others to live.

On a final note to listen to the re-broadcast of The Roth Show just click HERE.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and SurviveAbusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr. Laurie Rothhttp://www.therothshow.com/

Merry Christmas

Christmas Lights as the sunsets at the Canal in Long Beach California

We should not wait until a special date or a holiday in our lives to be thankful.

If you are fortunate enough to have the gifts of friends and family who love you that is gift from God, to be embraced with each new sunrise.

Merry Christmas and God Bless You and Your Family!

Susan