Preventing a Rape: Yours!

A few months ago a group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing.. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5: 00a.m. and 8:30a.m.5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store p arking lots. The number two: office parking lots/garages.. Number three: public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their handsKeys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it?, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'We're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

a.) Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body If you are close enough to use it, do!

b.) Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans : If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

c.) If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

d.) Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.d.If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

e.) A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage)

f.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

g.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

h.) ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

i.) If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!i. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.j. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.

While I do not agree with some of the information that I found in this post on the Internet, the purpose is to grab your attention and get you thinking about your own personal safety. Post this in the lunchroom where you work or in the center where your child attends daycare, your place of worship and in your community and on Internet blogs.

Also consider taking self defense classes from certified professionals in your area.

When A Cop Rapes A Child Should Bail Be Denied?

The court documents say forcible rape and incest. In these cases where law enforcement is involved with a crime of a child, in my opinion bond should be automatically, denied.

The am also concerned that the Officer Martinez is a danger to the community. Another issue are his weapons. Allowing officers charged in these cases to retain their weapons, again in a threat to the community. Martinez is a 20 year trained crime fighter.

Perhaps the judge should have issued a GPS monitor for the officer as a condition of his release. Oh, I forgot. They usually don't enforce procedures of safety for police officers.

It is likely this man who raped a 12 year-old child will be represented by a police union lawyer. If Prosecutors offer this bozo a deal. Will he have still be required to register as a sexual predator?

The prosecutors must remember the life of this little girl is in their hands. The victim will live with the scars of this rape, forever. She already lives in a prison. With memories one cannot erase so easily.

And when it is time for Pedro Martinez to resign and sign the paperwork for his pension. Fight to have it taken away. The same way he took away the innocence of the child.

(Source: Masslive.com) Bail was set at $75,000 cash or surety Tuesday for a 20-year veteran of the Springfield Police Department who pleaded innocent to child rape and incest charges.

Pedro J. Martinez, 47, a uniformed patrol officer, was arrested at the end of his shift Monday at 3 p.m. Martinez pleaded innocent to three counts of forcible rape of a child and three counts of incest. Police Commissioner William J. Fitchet said that Martinez was immediately suspended for five days without pay pending a grand jury indictment. Defense lawyer Raipher D. Pelligrino said after the arraignment that the charges are the result of a misunderstanding and his client is innocent.

He told District Court Judge Rita Koenigs that the victim has "issues that need to be explored further." Assistant District Attorney John Compton asked for a bail of $100,000 cash or $1 million surety. Compton said the victim said she was raped and sexually abused repeatedly from January 2005, when she was 12, to October 2008.

Judge Tells Offender To Be A Good Boy and He Won't Be Convicted

A man who repeatedly punched his wife for several minutes has escaped conviction after the judge ordered him to write an essay on domestic violence. Wow! Making excuses is what we see in each of these cases. For a Judge to have an abuser write a letter instead of jail time and counseling indicates pure ignorance on the part of the legal system to protect victims in relationships with violent offenders. A slap on the wrist from the legal system, is a knock out punch for victims. Judge Bruce Davidson should be removed from presiding over future domestic violence cases. Traffic court sounds less dangerous for this rope a dope of a judge. Or maybe not, apparently his track record is still haunting him.

But the 42-year-old who has been let off three domestic violence charges previously did not apologise in his essay to his wife or their 12-year-old son, who reported the bashing to police.
Instead, he blamed his upbringing.

"I have learnt now that I was a by-product of my father with my angry outbursts and getting frustrated to the point where I would physically and verbally hurt my wife," the Wellington dad of three wrote in his three-page piece `Why domestic violence is wrong'.
"I never thought I would become like my father because I remember telling myself as a young teenager that I would not be violent and abusive like my dad."

The man was discharged without conviction by Judge Bruce Davidson late last year after meeting earlier conditions to stay out of trouble for nine months, pay a fine, and write the essay.
Judge Davidson also granted him permanent name suppression,
Sunday News obtained the essay from Wellington District Court last week despite objections from his lawyer.

The 42-year-old was charged with assaulting his wife in April 2007. He pleaded guilty to the charge.
According to the police summary of facts, the man got into a "heated argument" with his wife. Then while she was lying down, attacked her.
"He punched the victim with a closed fists repeatedly to the body over a period of five to 10 minutes," the summary read.
At Wellington District Court in January last year, Judge Davidson agreed to delay sentencing, but said he would not necessarily grant the discharge because it would be "ground-breaking" if he escaped conviction a fourth time.
In October last year however after receiving the essay Judge Davidson granted the discharge.
He said he was now a changed man and did not react with his fists.

"I have learnt that I am now responsible for my actions and controlling my anger in a non-physical or abusive manner that I have the power to choose and decide not to be violent in any way, shape or form," he wrote.
"I can now walk away if an argument starts to get heated and cool down."
The man cited his upbringing as a reason for his violence and described watching his mother "being victimised by my drunken father".
He said he would lose his job if he was convicted of assaulting his wife, his family was under financial stress and he pleaded with the judge to discharge him without conviction.
"I am hanging by a thin thread and know I have been let off several times now of being convicted. If I was to offend again I deserve to be punished severely. I ask that you do not cut the thread just yet, your honour. And please give me another chance and allow me to continue my course of overcoming and breaking the cycle of violence."
And he pleaded for name suppression because of the humiliation earlier media reports of the incident had caused his family.
"It really upset my wife and children most of all. They were made to feel like victims themselves by the people who know us.'
When Sunday News contacted the man yesterday he reluctantly admitted he was lucky to escape conviction for assaulting his wife.
"Oh yeah, I guess so."
He said he had "definitely changed", and that he had apologised to his wife several times.
The man's wife told Sunday News her husband's court case was an "extremely sensitive issue" and that she regretted the fact police had become involved.
"I can tell you right now I would never, never, never ... If (my husband) ever hit me again I would never, never report it to the police," she said.
"My children will never ring the police because of what has happened.
"My son, I thought he'd done the right thing. I certainly thought I'd done the right thing. It's hard enough emotionally without it being bought into the media.
"I want women to report this stuff but I don't want them to have to go through what I went through. That's why I'll never do it (get police involved) again."
She said her family's home life was now more settled and they were getting on with their lives.
"We had a hell of a year because of this. A terrible, terrible year. I nearly had a breakdown with it all. We nearly lost our house."

The lawyer who unsuccessfully challenged Sunday News' request to view his client's essay, submitted it should not be "viewed and published (even in part) by any newspaper". But he also said the essay was "so honest and so descriptive of domestic violence" it could be "a focal point in any campaign to control domestic violence".

Self Defense: Protecting Yourself Against Violence or Abuse

Everyday, people of all cultures, races and economic background are victims of violence and abuse. These actions can range from physical abuse, to emotional or sexual abuse, and can have a significant impact on family, friends or anyone who is witnesses to the violence. Whether you are involved in a violent relationship or are the victim of a random attack, it’s important for you to know how to protect yourself; how to get out of that situation as quickly as possible.

Martial arts expert Jose Fernandez of the YWCA Capital Dojo leads self defense training classes for men and women, and teaches you tips on how to make some quick and smart moves in an emergency situation.

Fernandez suggests first off, enrolling in a self defense class, in order to become accustomed to reacting to violence. Most people immediately freeze when they are attacked, but taking self defense sessions repeatedly will help you be prepared to make split second decisions. Besides self defense class, he recommends a few things for you to think about that can help you defuse a violent situation.

Try to remain calm and speak in a softer, even tone.
Keep your hands up, try not to tense up.
Maintain eye contact and keep them busy with your voice
With a rise in dating violence, he offers a few tips to protect yourself
Take your time in getting to know the person better
Avoid being alone with the person in the beginning, plan your dates in crowded places.
Get to know their friends, introduce them to your friends.
If you are alone with the person, avoid alcohol.

Video Link Tips:http://safety.amw.com/home/protect-yourself-against-violence-or-abuse/

Check out the YWCA for more information on what you can do if you or someone you know is a victim of violence, and how you can get involved in preventing it.

(source: http://www.amw.com