Domestic Violence Trial Today for Elected Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi

This morning the trial begins in San Francisco for the newly elected Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi.  The incident happened on New Years eve with his now estranged, but, common law wife who he has been with since 2009.   The Sheriff is facing one count each of domestic violence battery, dissuading a witness, and child endangerment. 


He was booked and released on $35,000 bail.  Ironically, the Sheriff remains in office until the outcome of the trial.  Naturally, he said at the time "he will fight the charges." Interesting selection of words since "fighting" is how he got into trouble in the first place.  

There was video taken by a neighbor after the incident, the defense attorney argued  of course"hearsay," and despite arguments the judge will allow the video into trial.  Also, an interesting  note, the judge has requested, as of today's 90-minute hearing, to speak with a former girlfriend of Sheriff Mirkarimi as there are allegations of past abuse.  


What I would like to know is why the delayed action in this case.  He was sworn into office, despite being charged and booked on January 13, 2012.  The crime took place prior to him taking office, why was he even sworn-in until the matter was resolved?  


We have a top cop behaving badly, and he's sworn into office? There is also a criminal order of protection against him. Shouldn't he turn in his weapon like everyone else in the world until the case is decided by a judge? Or does the sheriff receive automatic immunity because he's "elected"?  Perhaps the district attorney in San Francisco could take a moment and review the Lautenberg Act. 


Seeing remarks made by the defense attorney and her client that this is a "private matter" shows ignorance, especially in officer involved intimate partner violence.  Domestic violence is against the law; it's not private, nor a family matter when you are trained to protect the streets by day and terrorize in your own home at night.  


Elected official or not, someone else needs to be overseeing this hen house.  There is an immediate need to having training implemented so that lives are not lost in the future.  Removing hearsay for these types of criminal cases must include the "EAA" (evidentiary abuse affidavit) located at Document The Abuse.  Perhaps the judge will order the training for all law enforcement in the community so victims can document the violence in a nice neat package, just in case they should suddenly vanish or be found dead.

“What hurts the survivor most is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander”- Eli Weisel

Document The Abuse it contains vital information on how the "EAA"can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responder's and advocates, to an appearance in court.  It explains the legal benefits to the abuse victim, whether they are able to testify or not, how their words are forever documented and hold up in court, much like a Living Will.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

Christine Moretz and Intimate Partner Homicide

Christine Moretz, did not stand at a chance against her estranged husband, earlier today he shot her death as she visited a friend in the hospital, inside a medical center in Collier County, Florida.

Back in 2009, there was a documented incident where Jeffery Moretz had fired shots in the home, but no one was injured at that time. And for his reported criminal behavior he received a slap on the wrist. And today after he shot Christine he turned the gun on himself and was taken to another hospital where he is reportedly still alive after attempting suicide.

We always want answers in cases of intimate partner violence and homicide minus it seems without providing safety solutions for victims. I realize not every victim is able to break away or move to a new town or state. But why not give them a fighting chance at survival?

Just think about how many lives could be saved if society dealt with violence in the home as a crime? If tools and techniques were taught on how to be safe? No different then we prepare children on how not to talk to strangers. Or how to deal with an unexpected attacker?

We cannot bring back Christine Moretz, but we can prevent others in intimate violent partnerships that lead to homicide from meeting the same fate. Time's Up!

You want change? Then everyone must be willing to give this issue more then lip service. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, if you are a lawyer practicing in family court, if it is happening to you, a plan of action is your key to safety. The book Time's Up is based on women, like my mom, who were silenced in the prime of their lives. This is your prescription to safety. Below is a sample of the video you need to prepare, if you do nothing else, the abuse affidavit and video will go a long way,if something happens.

Looking back, I don't think my mother ever really believed my father would actually follow through and kill. But he did. Most women that I assist and keep alive, never want to believe the person with whom they enter or in end a relationship could be capable of killing.

Don't take the chance!

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or are found murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.