"It is a silly fish that is caught twice with the same bait' yet for victims of domestic violence and stalking they are often caught with the same disguised stink of invisible sweetness by a repeated abuser who casts the same line- using the same bait. The sweet talk, courting you in the early stages of a relationship as though they are running for the higest office in the land. And hey isn''t that the truth! A repeated abuser has only one goal, they seek and they prey on their target. If you are not careful it can tragically end up costing a victim in a violent relationship their life.
Karen Rae Elkins is a world class professional women's angler. She has fished and competed in tournaments on waters and rivers across the county.
Karen is also a success survivor. Yesterday she celebrated her one year and now a day victory. On an article she wrote at the Time's Up Blog (for crime survivors) she says:
"I can't pinpoint the day I let someone abuse me but I remember the day I left. His words were calculated and well rehearsed. My bags and tackle were still in the car. I had driven home from a fishing event in Dallas, Tx. I went to the kitchen to get a bite to eat and he said, "If you are going to continue to fish, we need to make other arrangements." Tears filled my eyes as I thought of a life without fishing. My first thought was, "please don't make me quit." and then it came to me. "just leave". The words I used were much more colorful but not meant for print. I left and I never turned back."
Once you leave, as Karen states with a firm conviction "never turn back." And yet for too many victims in this battlefield of violence and bloodshed within the home allow the abuser to tug at their emtions like a fishing line as if being reeled back. The hook is that old smile you remember when the two of you first dated. The attention and sweet intimacy you once shared, baited on the hook and you fall for it. Believing they have changed. Believing they love you. Believing they will go to counseling. Believing you can work through this with them. Believeing they will never hurt you, ever again.
If you do nothing else take a moment and read the words of Karen Rae Elkins a woman with a teflon coat of armor and a heart and soul created and lead by God's hand Here at Time's Up.
Afterwards, review the video below of the Evidentuary Abuse document and video. Then take action. Cut the line on the pole. You are no longer the bait. You will not and can no longer be reeled back into the abuser's clever manipulation. Prepare the document and video. If you need further direction, email me at murphymilano@gmail.com
When I found this quote it made me think of Karen Rae Elkins. And in honor of her success it is appropriate that I end with these words:
For angling-rod he took a sturdy oak;
For line, a cable that in storm ne'er broke;
His hook was such as heads the end of pole
To pluck down house ere fire consumes it whole;
This hook was bated with a dragon's tail,--
And then on rock he stood to bob for whale - Sir William D'Avenant
Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS
