Silence and The Blue Brotherhood of the Badge Cost Alexis Jackson Age 13, Her Life!

Alexis Jackson, 13, a 7th grade student at Glascow Middle school in Alexandria, Virginia was murdered by her father, John Jackson, a former police sergeant with the Fairfax County Police Department who then committed suicide. He resigned in 2010, around the same time he and his then estranged wife, Cindy, had filed for divorce, citing physical abuse during the marriage. Court Records show the divorce action was dropped in January.

In a story reporting on the murder-suicide in the Washington Post, one comment in particular caught my attention.

As a former co-worker of the wife (Cindy) I am appalled how she was victimized again through this article with such personal specific details about the brutality she endured. I understand court reports are public knowledge but seriously? What is wrong with journalists these days? Those details provided about her past were so inappropriate just to make a an article more 'dramatic'. Shame you Post Reporter.....you are part of the problem for protecting victims privacy!

The former co-worker calls out the fact that Cindy Jackson's abuse should be private, angry that the information was released. What we need to be angry about is the fact that intimate partner homicide is an epidemic and it hijacks the lives of eight to ten victims 365 days year. John Jackson murdered his own child. His actions during the marriage are very much a part of the ultimate act of power and control. In this case he planned out the murder of his daughter to get back at his wife. John Jackson wanted to teach Cindy a lesson; punish his wife by taking away her entire world, her child whom she loved more than life itself.

When we silence the crime, abusers gain more power and control over their victims. John Jackson, while on the police force,  got away with his dangerous and criminal behavior against his wife. He had no choice but to be given the opportunity to resign, save face, or face criminal charges, a special consideration often given to those in the "blue brotherhood."

There is nothing dramatic about violence in the home; it's a crime and against the law. It's not a private matter, especially when a person sworn to serve and protect terrorizes their own family during their job as a sworn law enforcement officer. 

Cindy Jackson went out to the driveway up to the parked SUV, screamed out to God as she smashed the glass on the passenger side window and discovered her daughter's lifeless body in the car.

Comments by former colleagues of the Sargeant and others on the Fairfax police department were words of "shock" and "disbelief" about the death of his daughter. But their non-responsive actions to Cindy Jackson's pleas for help while her husband was on the job only fueled the violence in the couple's relationship. There were no consequences to the violent offender. He showed his victim just how untouchable he was. And then, he showed the world who was in control by taking the life of Alexis Jackson, 13 years old!

Before you decide to personally express your opinions, note that I am the daughter of a Chicago Violent Crimes detective who murdered my mother in 1989, before committing suicide.  I know firsthand how these crimes go down.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

 A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time'sUp!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

Shannon Paolini is Fighting For Her Life

As I write this a young mother is fighting for her life. Shannon Paolini, 27 was shot 5 times as she ran out of her home. The offender, her boyfriend and father of their 2-year old child continued firing at her and then ran back into the home. A stand-off with the Fountain, Colorado, police and swat team lasted over six hours. The outcome, devastating.

Inside police found the two year old son dead from his father's own hand --a gunshot wound to the head. The offender committed suicide. According to reports and the news there was so much poured gasoline in the house it took an additional 3 plus hours before investigators would re-enter the home. Police also found a note of sorts detailing his disturbing thoughts about his relationship that lead up to the shootings. He planned every detail down to the gas container he purchased at Wal-Mart.

Shannon is employed with the El Paso County Sheriff's Office. The Sheriff released a heart felt statement I don't often see in cases of intimate partner violence and homicide that includes starting a fund to assist she and her family.

The El Paso County Sheriff’s Office would like to send out some information regarding our friend and co-worker, Shannon Paolini. She has been employed with us since August 2007, and is a Financial Services Specialist. She is in critical condition at a local hospital and is fighting for her life. She is surrounded by friends and family.

Shannon is an amazing lady. She is never seen at work without a smile. Shannon’s greatest joy is her son and her family. She enjoys physical fitness, dancing, and spending time with family and friends. The El Paso County Sheriff’s Office is providing any and all assistance we can to Shannon and her family. In the near future we will be working to start a fund in Shannon’s name to assist her family with the financial struggles they will be facing in the future. We appreciate the kind words, thoughts and prayers from our community. Sheriff Terry Maketa said, “Our thoughts and prayers are with Shannon, and all friends and family affected by these senseless and tragic events. We also recognize the loss felt by the family of the suspect and the loss of an innocent child.”

Once you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic,Kelly Rothwell or arefound murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman, and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talkhttp://www.herewomentalk.com/and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.