In Domestic Violence Relationships: Excuses Can be Deadly!

How many more times are you going to allow the a person with whom you are in a relationship to make excuses for their outbursts? Either through yelling at you because the boss got on their back or there is not enough money through the end of the month to buy groceries and somehow your partner is blaming you? The house is in shambles, the kids have been up all night with the flu and you are whacked across the face by your "loving partner" because things are not the way " THEY" expect them. Your partner informs you, similar to placing you on notice, that you have had this conversation before.

When someone you are with hurts you, and punishing you is the only thing you are told that gets your attention, that is not love . It is not acceptable. It is abuse, power and control. It is a crime and it's against the law.

You do have options. Stop excusing the excuses! From "he was drinking", to "we are having financial problems", or how about when you are made to believe "it was your fault." It is not.
Martina McBride recorded a song titled "Independence Day", please take a moment and listen to her words.

Your day of Independence is a phone call away. Please contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or if you are hearing paired (TTY) 1-800-787-3224. They offer services in your area for shelter, legal, counseling, they will even help you with a safety plan. The phones are answered by a trusting caring professional, who is there just for you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.

Perhaps contacting a shelter for information or services is not something you would like to do. Regardless, having a plan is a must! Before you consider announcing you have had enough, or the relationship is over, prepare the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit video and document" similar to the example of the re-inactment below. You can order " Time's Up" a life saving book to leave with your life and move on to independence on Amazon.com or in e-book form on http://www.susanmurphymilano.com/.

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or are found murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel and others, where the person responsible has gotten away with murder, that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

If you have an opportunity take a moment and download a podcast about abuse from a radio show on the AWN Radio Network Linked HERE. .

The Dana Pretzer Show

The Dana Pretzer Show On Scared Monkeys Radio – Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 – Special Guests: Robin Sax, Susan Murphy Milano,

Dr. Clint Van Zandt & Randy Tat

Tonight Dana welcomes special guests:

 Robin Sax - Former ADA and Author has an update of Conrad Murray, the doctor at the center of the death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

 Susan Murphy Milano – Author and Victims Advocate discusses the release of her new book ‘Times Up’ A Guide on How To Leave and Survive Abusive Relationships.

 Dr Clint Van Zandt will be discussing the anniversary of Waco and the stand off with the Branch Davidians and Davis Koresh.

David Koresh (Branch Davidian Compound). Van Zandt was sent to the scene reluctantly. Someone had decided that Van Zandt’s Christian faith might leave him susceptible to Koresh’s evangelical teachings. Van Zandt spent hours with Koresh, working diligently to pierce his veil of spirituality, trying to make sense of his wild ramblings while at the same time trying to talk some sense into him. Koresh addressed Van Zandt as “Brother Clint” because he knew Clint was a practicing Christian. Van Zandt says this drawn out ordeal took an emotional toll on him at a time in his career when he was “one fuse short of burning out.”

 Randy Tat - New Art Exhibit at the Zimmer Museum In Beverly Hills featuring This years’ theme of “knowledge”

Voices For Justice on BlogTalk Radio

Wednesday, April 14, 9pm Eastern, 8pm Central!

Join us as we sit down with author Susan Murphy Milano. Susan is an advocate for women and girls and has a "Voice for Justice" on domestic violence and criminal justice!

A one hour interview with Michelle Bart of Helping Heroes.Org discussing the groundbreaking book authored by Susan Murphy Milano, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship."

The direct link to the show is HERE

Please feel free to call in with questions and comments:  

(347) 838-8622

Men Who Are Changing Victim's Lives,Part2

The Susan Murphy Milano Show welcomes back guests, Barry Goldstein and Ben Atherton-Zeman.  Joining them on Wednesday, March 24 will be Joe Samalin from Men Can Stop Rape.

Each of these men are involved in the movement to end domestic violence towards women.   They bring the message to all who will listen, especially other men, and join forces to proactively take a stance against family violence at all levels.

Ben Atherton-Zeman’s wildly popular play, “Voices of Men,” is performed all over the country on college campuses and for any event promoting the fight against violence.

Barry Goldstein is a former attorney and author of the book, “Scared to Leave Afraid to Stay,” an upcoming book "Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody" as well as an advocate for women abused by their partners and sometimes the court system.

Joe Samalin,  with Men Can Stop Rape, provides agencies, schools, and organizations with direct services for youth, public service messaging, and leadership training.

Ben and Barry were well received on the previous show which aired on March 3, and we decided we need to spend another hour with them answering questions and phone calls on how men can be involved in the family violence arena.

Men's voices are needed in the fight against family violence that is escalating at a rapid pace within the homes and court rooms across America.  All three of these men have made strides to educate men, causing them to reflect and change their attitudes towards violence against women.  It's not a gender issue, it's a human issue, and violence in the family must come to an end.

The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Men who Are Changing Victim's Lives, Part 2" is on BlogTalk Radio at the link provided HERE.   

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24, AT 4PM EST, 3PM CST.

Please join us live in the chat room or call in your questions at:

(347) 326-9337

Men Who Are Changing Victim's Lives

Ben Atherton-Zeman and Barry Goldstein are but a few courageous men who stand up for the fight against violence to women.  Both have developed education and awareness campaigns to bring the information to the masses that, yes, there is an issue of violence towards women.  They bring this information to all who will listen through speaking engagements, books, teachings and, in Ben's case, a play titled "Voices of Men," a one man play working to end men's violence towards women.

Both Barry and Ben have taken a proactive stance against violence towards women from the shelter level to the court system, where often a battered woman is battered again.

Men's voices are needed in the fight against family violence that is escalating at a rapid pace within the homes and court rooms across America.  Both of these men have made strides to educate men, causing them to reflect and change their attitudes towards violence against women.  It's not a gender issue, it's a human issue, and violence in the family must come to an end.

Join Ben Atherton-Zeman and Barry Goldstein as my guests on The Susan Murphy Milano show Wednesday, March 3 at 4PM EST, 3PM CST for an educational discussion about how men have joined together to help stop the violence.

The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Men who Are Changing Victim's Lives" is on BlogTalk Radio at the link provided HERE.

Please join us live in the chat room or call in your questions at:

(347) 326-9337

Special Series: One Woman's Journey

Part 1

In recent month’s women, children and the lives of families have been hijacked, wiped out by another person’s anger and control because a relationship was about to end. The women we read about with our morning cup of coffee whom are killed is the mom next door, they live in an exclusive gated community, their professions range from lawyers to teachers and stock brokers.  They do not fit the traditional “signs “of those once depicted as “battered or black and blue.”  You will not find them at a shelter or in court seeking an order of protection.  Many victims of violence in today’s world are educated with successful careers.  The men they are in a relationship with or married to are well mannered, handsome professionals.  These men give an air of success and confidence.  If they are abusive and controlling it is always behind closed doors.  They are a new breed in the area of intimate family homicide.

For this special series we will chronicle one woman’s journey with the understanding that intimate family violence and homicide happen not just to women, but men are also losing their lives in this epidemic. 

Gina, age 47, a certified public account by profession was introduced to Robert an attorney through mutual friends.  She was divorced and had one child in college.  Robert was a widower a Deacon at his church and the father of 2 daughters age 17 and 22.  From all appearances Robert was a loving and caring father.  Gina was impressed when she was informed by her friend how Robert took care of his wife diagnosed with pancreatic cancer cradling her in his arms until she died four years earlier. Gina immediately formed an opinion without ever meeting Robert that he was a man of “exceptional character.”  Gina had already begun to put on her blinders by hearing and seeing only what was in front of her. 

The two spoke on the phone for several weeks before making plans to meet.  As Gina prepared for her evening she changed outfits several times.  Some blouses were “too low cut, a dress was a bit much, Gina settled on a skirt below the knees, high heels and a buttoned down jacket and shirt combo.  

Robert arrived with a bouquet of assorted flowers and the two headed out to a nearby restaurant for dinner.

They had a great time and when Robert said goodnight he asked Gina if he could take her out again.  After a few months they were spending a lot of time together and Robert decided to introduce Gina to his children. An evening of take out and conversation was planned.  Gina walked into the modest home and was surprised to see large portraits and photos of his late wife throughout the house.

Robert explained to Gina they were put up for the memorial service and because of the children he didn’t have the heart to take them down.  Gina recalls thinking how lucky they were to have a close loving family.

to be continued......

Gloria Allred: Hit or Miss?

I was disturbed by the recent publicity stunt of famed attorney Gloria Allred and her client, porn star Joslyn James[photo left], over a company selling golfs balls called "Tail of the Tiger".

The balls were produced by a company called Creative Classics out of Canada and are sold with the names and pictures of the 12 alleged ladies with whom Tiger Woods sought sexual pleasure outside his marriage.

Now, let me be clear, I have no issue with Ms. Allred, I do however take it as a personal slap in the face when anyone claims that using these specific balls condones violence against women. That is absurd!

During the press conference Gloria Allred used a large graphic to demonstrate that swinging a club and hitting these balls furthers violence. I could see if a company produced ammunition or pocket knives with pictures of women, but golf balls?

Joslyn James then spoke and said she is is angry that a Canadian company has put her portrait on a golf ball it is selling as part of its "Mistress Collection," "I feel that it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it because golfers hit their golf balls with a lot of force," she said.


Then I nearly fell out of my chair as I heard the porn star Joslyn James say:

"As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands hitting a ball with my photo on it."



Golf is a game played on a course that involves hitting balls into holes and unless a club is used to threaten a person similar to a baseball bat there is no danger. And yet, instead of simply holding a press conference saying a class action lawsuit would be filed or they were upset with this company for producing golf balls, these two women are using a life and death epidemic and swinging it around as if to imply it is dangerous to women.

In my opinion Pornography, those who work, sell and produce these graphic images is by far more dangerous for women and young girls.


Joslyn James and Gloria Allred should each publicly apologize for this hair brain stunt!

Moving Out, Moving On: The Book that Saves!

In Honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Author and Expert Domestic Violence Strategist, Susan Murphy Milano, is offering her innovative book, Moving Out, Moving On at a discount to anyone who is in a violent relationship, or knows someone who needs to safely move away from abuse.

This book is available in quantity for agencies, shelters, coalitions and any other organizations who deal with victims of abuse.

For the month of October you can order a hard copy of the book which includes a CD of all of the important forms you will need to use. The hard copy (for $15 including postage) can be ordered at the following email:

contact@imaginepublicity.com

Include your name, address and quantity and you will receive a quick response with further instruction.

If you would like an instant EBook copy it can be ordered by going to this link:

CLICK HERE

The Ebook also includes samples of forms to use, as well.

Moving Out, Moving On will not only save you thousands in dollars, it could very well save a life!

Through clear examination, simple forms and worksheets, Moving out, Moving on , logically takes the reader through all the necessary preparation and information gathering to effectively seek legal redress, protect one’s assets and credit, address considerations regarding children, define alternate living arrangements, and deal with the myriad of financial problems and concerns surrounding a divorce or break-up. Moving out, Moving on, also addresses in detail abusive relationships, domestic violence and stalking and how to safely confront these situations.

Moving out, Moving on , is more than a simple workbook, but a true plan to take control of one’s life and face the future head on. This is not just another “divorce book” written by a so called “expert.” Moving out, Moving on, is authored by a person who truly knows…Susan Murphy-Milano