That Badge..That Gun..No Place to Run..

Yesterday in Roanoke, Virgina, as Jennifer Agee, 30 pulled into a convenience store parking lot with a child sitting in the car seat, she was gunned down in cold blood by her former husband, Franklin County Sheriff, Johnathan Agee. Immediately after shooting her, he burned rubber in the parking lot and took off.

A few minutes later he fired at other officers, wounding one, before he was stopped by returning fire. Agee was airlifted and is in critical condition. If Agee survives he will be charged with murder The other officer is recovering from a shot to the leg. Jennifer Agee died a short time later at the hospital. It is difficult for any law enforcement community when these tragedies occur, but what could have been done to prevent the murder of Jennifer Agee? Did fellow officers see signs? Were comments made prior to the shooting or around the time the couple divorced that he was going to "take care" of the problem? Was it apparent he was angry over the ending of the marriage? Besides training in the community as it relates to stalking and intimate partner violence, what are fellow officers in the law enforcement community taught when it is one of their own? The answer is nothing. It is not part of training either at the police academy or in continuing education.

How about programs for wives and girlfriends former or otherwise? What measures are in place for their safety? The answer is nothing. They have no shield, no place to run, no training as it relates to possibly diffusing the situation. In this tragic case, Jennifer Agee was stalked prior to her being killed.

In a newspaper remark it said "It was not clear what made the 32-year-old deputy snap." In my opinion, he did not just snap! This was brewing over time. No one wakes up one morning out of the clear blue and decides to kill. It does not happen that way.

If the Franklin County Sheriff Ewell A. Hunt wants to investigate this tragedy, I suggest he begin by interviewing her friends, family and his. Talk with those they both knew and worked with on a daily basis. Obtain the cell phone, text and computer emails, records from each of them. What about where she lived? Did she call police because he was following her? Was a report written or dismissed because he was in law enforcement?

This is and should not be treated as an isolated incident. As I write this you have partners married or in a relationship with law enforcement whom are now living in greater fear for their lives. While you should always be there for your officers, consider going that extra mile as it pertains to spouses and girlfriends as they also require special attention during this time.

In memory of Jennifer Agee, it is the very least you can do, before someone else is killed.

If you are in a violent relationship the first time you are threatened, hit, stalked, questioned in a controlling way, a second chance to save your life, is no longer an option.

“If you are reading this and find yourself in a similar situation, know that there are measures you must take before announcing the end of your relationship. These safety precautions can be found in the book, "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave an Abusive and Stalking Relationship" by Susan Murphy Milano. Don't take things into your own hands without expert guidance.” (Mothers Are Vanishing)

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when sheannounces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Before you decide that you have had enough and are ending the relationship create for yourself the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video (shown below).

If you do nothing else, please take one important step that if something does happen to you, if you do vanish like Stacy Peterson, Vensus Stewart, Rachel Anderson, Susan Powell, Lisa Stebic, or arefound murdered like Monica Beresford-Redmond, Franki Jacobson, Renee Pagel, Summer Inman,Kelly Rothwell and others where the person responsible has gotten away with murder that your voice and record of the abuse will be captured and recorded. Do it for you friends, family and loved ones. Do it for your children. Do it for you!

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visithttp://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs. http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Patricia Mackenzie: Killed by Coward with a Badge

This week Patricia Mackenzie, 55, Norfolk VA, was discovered murdered by her husband, a police lieutenant. In my opinion, his name is not important he now joins the rank and file of “murderer.” He killed his wife in cold blood before turning the gun on himself. A coward with a badge licensed to carry and use a gun.

As I read the newspaper account in the Virginian-Pilot, my blood boiled. As the daughter of a Chicago violent crimes detective, whose mother lost her life at the hands of my father before he too, turned the gun on himself, I cringed at the words regarding the killer “Bill was a wonderful person.” Obviously, he was not. So why even print that?

Violent offenders of intimate partner violence and ultimately homicide do not suddenly wake up one morning and decide to make a snap decision and kill their spouse. The tension in the relationship and anger builds up over a period time. Just because no one actually witnessed any violence or “saw signs of it coming” means that the offender was experienced at hiding who they really were to the world. And their victims, rarely, if even at all will disclose, especially if married to someone in law enforcement that they are on fear for their life.

The article goes on to say “they may never know the reasons why” he did this? In my opinion the answer is simple, he was a violent controlling offender. Patricia Mackenzie perhaps was making plans to end the marriage. It is likely for her own safety that she did not disclose the details to anyone. The "oh so" well liked by all “murdering Lieutenant” got wind of her plans and in true offender form took control of the situation because she was planning on leaving and murdered his wife.

These types of tragedies written more like a glorified obituary for the killer continue to perpetuate the stigma and misconception society as a whole places on the epidemic of intimate partner homicide.

If you want to write a story, how about covering the facts and offering solutions as it relates to the victims. Why not include in your story how experts such as myself are keeping these women alive or information regarding the "Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit" and video in the book Time's up? I realize the headline makes for good ink in selling papers or traffic to a site, but responsible reporting is also important for those living in terror and fear. Especially when it relates to a victim involved in intimate police officer violence at the hands of a husband or boyfriend.

The final sentence in the coverage "He was somebody who, particularly as a lieutenant and sergeant - as a supervisor - was very fair," Amos said. "He would look out for his folks, make sure they were taken care of."

The article should have said, Patricia was murdered at the hands of someone who professed to love her. Our prayers go out to her friends and family. May she rest in peace.

I cannot stress enough, if you are in a relationship that has a history of violence, simply mustering up the courage to confront the person and say it is over, without the proper tools, can cost you, your life!

One of the major reasons women stay in abusive relationships is fear. They are afraid of what will happen to them and their children if they leave. Sadly, their fears are often justified; statistics show that a woman is at the greatest risk for injury when she announces her plans or leaves an abusive relationship.

The book "Time's Up A Guide on How To Survive and Abusive and Stalking Relationship" is the prescription, if you will, that every person must obtain before they announce they are leaving. Below is an example from Chapter 4, one of many unique tools provided in the book. It is available onAmazon.com, or you can purchase via e-book or on a cd. If you have questions, the email address is: timesupforjustice@gmail.com

Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit by Susan Murphy Milano from the Book "Time's Up" from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Susan Murphy Milano is with the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She is an expert on intimate partner violence and homicide crimes. For more information visit http://www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com/ She is also in partnership with Pamela Chapman and iAscend Programs.http://pamelachapmanl.biz

Susan is the author of "Time's Up A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships," available for purchase at the Institute, Amazon.com and wherever books are sold. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" on Here Women Talk http://www.herewomentalk.com/ and is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated The Roth Show with Dr Laurie Roth. Susan is a survivor- the daughter of a police officer family intimate partner homicide by her father who murdered her mother before committing suicide.

Theresa Parker: Can Finally Go Home

Theresa Parker, a 911 dispatcher with the Walker County Sheriff’s office in Atlanta, vanished without a trace in March of 2007. She was going through a divorce with her estranged husband Sgt. Sam Parker, a Police Officer in Lafayette.

Sam claimed as so many whom commit intimate partner homicide,” he had nothing to do with her disappearance.” And they she “ran away to start a new life.”

In September 2009, a jury found Sam Parker guilty of malice murder after a three week trial, even though Theresa's body had never been found. Judge Jon "Bo" Wood sentenced him to serve the rest of his life in prison.

Today, at news conference officials announced the remains of Theresa Parker were found off Fullerton Road in Lyerly -- southwest of Summerville in rural Chattooga County. Ironically, this is the area Sam knew very well.

In cases of Intimate Homicide when a victim’s suddenly vanishes, often when remains are finally discovered, the killer almost always goes to a place that is familiar specifically to them. In this case it was near Sam Parker’s childhood home, an area he knew better than anyone.

Today, from behind the blue wall Theresa Parker's voice, although silenced is finally going home with her family where she belongs. The discovery of her remains elimates the possibility for Parker to file an appeal (because he can no longer claim there is not a body) and ask the higher courts for a new trial.

Diva's of Women In Crime on the Susan Murphy Milano Show - 3:00 PM Central/ 4:00 PM Eastern Time

They may not sing like the "Three Tenors" but "Three Divas" from Women In Crime Ink can sing like canaries when it comes to solving crime! 

Join Women in Crime Ink's amazing Divas, Criminal Profiler and author Pat Brown,

True Crime Author, Diane Fanning and Robin Sax, former Prosecutor, author and NBC legal analyst as they discuss and disect cases of intimate partner violence, stalking and the hearsay law.

To call in to the show and ask a question or make a comment the number is:

1-347-326-9337

Wednesday, May 12, 2010
TIME: 4: 00 PM Eastern Time / 3:00 PM Central

Show Link: www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

To be considered as a guest on a future show or if you have a subject matter or idea you would like on a topic of interest please email us at murphymilano@gmail.com

Been there, done that…” Susan Murphy- Milano has turned a tired phrase into demonstrable realism through the gift of her newly published book, "TIME'S UP: A GUIDE ON HOW TO LEAVE AND SURVIVE ABUSIVE AND STALKING RELATIONSHIPS

Susan Murphy Milano Hosts A Special Hour: Monday April, 12, 2010 at 8PM Eastern Time

A special hour devoted to Domestic Violence, Stalking and Intimate Partner Violence perpetrated by police officers in the home.

Date: Monday April 12, 2010

Time: 8PM EST/ 7PM Central / 5PM PST

Susan Murphy Milano's guest's for the entire hour are:

Joseph Hosey author of the acclaimed book "Fatal Vows The Tragic Wives of Sergeant Drew Peterson." Hosey has been a reporter for the Chicago-area's Herald News since 1999 and has been on the cusp of every major development in the Drew Peterson case. He is the only member of the media to cover Kathleen Savio's inquest, and he broke the stories of her death as well as Stacy Peterson's disappearance.

Steph Watts producer, blogger and has done investigative work with Mark Fuhrman for OTR at FOX News on the disappearance of Stacy Peterson was seminal. She was the fourth wife of Bolingbrook Police Officer Drew Peterson, and prime suspect in her disappearance. This work led to the reclassification of the death of Peterson’s third wife Kathleen Savio, from an accident to a homicide.

And Pastor Neil Schori from the Naperville Christian Church will be with us for the entire hour. Pastor Schori is also a national advocate for victim's of abuse and stalking.

To listen to the show live and participate in the chat room, the direct link is HERE

We will take your call live. The number to call in with questions is:

(347) 326-9337

A Special Place in Hell For Killer With A Badge?

A cop whom according to reports and former officers working along side of him "should have been stripped of his commission as a law enforcement" officer long ago. A departments rank and file that looked the way over an anrgry and controlling cop on Friday evening cost two people and possibly a third their lives.

Charlotte Grahn filed for divorce in August of 2009. She was afraid of her husband a Clackamas County, Oregon deputy sheriff. Charlotte believed if she pressed charges for the beatings he would get fired from his job. And that would only make Jeffrey Grahn more violent. But others knew like Sheriff Craig Roberts and on a private site for law enforcement someone in the know commented:

"Unfortunately the guy had been unstable for quite a while and the Boss chose to ignore it. This is not a surprise for those who had to work with Grahn.

When you're married, have kids, choose to get a girlfriend in the courthouse, that ends up getting you moved from the courthouse to graveyard patrol. When you suck as a Patrol Sgt. because none of the troops trust you, then you divorce your wife, but can't control her afterwards..... God speed Charlotte, you were an angel to put up with him.
Grahn...rot in hell!!"

Another law enforcement officer on site said:
"Suffice it to say that for those of us that had to work with this SOB, this was no surprise. Ask yourself why senior guy's who could hold day shift for the rest of their careers would bid off to nights when Grahn bid days?"

Charlotte was out for the evening with two of her girlfriends and a local establishment in town. Jeffrey Grahn walked in and the couple began to have a heated discussion. She went outside to get away from him. He shot her in the parking lot. Then this piece of grabage went back inside and shot the pther two women and the table. Kathleen Hoffmeister died instantly and Victoria Schulmerich is in critical condition fighting for her life. After shooting all three women Jeffrey Grahn committed suicide.

Now, three children are orphans because a small town refused to see that Jeffrey Grahn had no buisiness as a sworn law enforcement officer. They all knew that this guy was trouble. They all knew he was dangerous and yet his remained in a position of authority. Grahn could not deal with the fact that his wife was no longer under his private lock and key.

Because the police department and the union looked away they need to be held accountable. The Grahn children and the surviving families of the two victims shot likely have a lawsuit to file in the near future. The Attorney General John Kroger office needs to hire a special task force and make approppriate command changes within this depatrtment. A state-wide protocol should be considered and implemented for officers going through divorce. As in this tragic case the rank and file including the employee's within the department must be held accountable.

No one was willing to take action and come forward when Grahn started exhibiting strange behavior.

On Friday, February 12, 2oo9, the brotherhood of the badge kept it's code of silence and innocent lives were hijacked all in the name of shear ignorance.