It is likely over the next few days you will be with family and friends during the Thanksgiving holiday. If you have a teenager take the opportunity to have some quality discussions about school, whom they are hanging around with and if they are sort of dating someone find out what is going on in their lives. And if you have a moment please head on over and read the the post titled "Thanksgiving Tradition" by Anglican Priest Charles Moncrief over on the Time's Up Blog.
We never really pay attention or think much about our kids being in an abusive relationship. We tell them to stay away from strangers or never to put their drink down at a party, but, as parents do we ever ask and check in with our kids and their relationships? As a parent, why not consider printing a copy of this off and either sitting down with your teenager and discussing the questions listed below or lightly mention that you saw this on the Internet and thought it might be of interest and leave it at that. Maybe ask about their friends, if they suspect they are in an unhealthy situation at the moment. It's a way to open the door to discussing the topic.
Questions to really look and go over with your teenager:
Print this sheet off and write your ideas in the spaces. You can print this sheet from your browser (by pressing the 'print' button on the toolbar or selecting 'print' in the File menu.)
Write a list of the ways in which you think your boyfriend/girlfriend has been or is being abusive towards you.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Did you ever stop and think about your boyfriend/girlfriend and what they gain through their behavior? Does it make them a better person for controlling or hurting you? Maybe this is being done in their home and they think this is normal behavior? ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How has the way you are treated made you feel? Helpless, stupid, afraid to tell someone? ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How does or has the abuse affected you - how has it affected your confidence, your relationships, and your school studies or just your life right now.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How have the negative messages that your boyfriend/girlfriend has given you made you feel about yourself?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Do you think the abuse has consumed you completely?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
If you break up:
Good points / what could I gain
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
Bad points / what could I lose?
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
If you stay in the relationship:
Good points / what could I gain
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
Bad points / what could I lose?
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
What's your worst fear if you end the relationship right now?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What's your worst fear if you continue seeing this person?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Who can you talk to who could help, a parent, family memeber, school mate, teacher?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What personal strengths do you have to help you keep going?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Have you thought about steps you could take to try to change this situation?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What can you do to feel better and in a safe place (either in the relationship or after breaking up) ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What things can you do for yourself, to feel stronger? (spend more time with my friends, find a job, keep a journal,pay attention to your school work, etc.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
We never really pay attention or think much about our kids being in an abusive relationship. We tell them to stay away from strangers or never to put their drink down at a party, but, as parents do we ever ask and check in with our kids and their relationships? As a parent, why not consider printing a copy of this off and either sitting down with your teenager and discussing the questions listed below or lightly mention that you saw this on the Internet and thought it might be of interest and leave it at that. Maybe ask about their friends, if they suspect they are in an unhealthy situation at the moment. It's a way to open the door to discussing the topic.
Questions to really look and go over with your teenager:
Print this sheet off and write your ideas in the spaces. You can print this sheet from your browser (by pressing the 'print' button on the toolbar or selecting 'print' in the File menu.)
Write a list of the ways in which you think your boyfriend/girlfriend has been or is being abusive towards you.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Did you ever stop and think about your boyfriend/girlfriend and what they gain through their behavior? Does it make them a better person for controlling or hurting you? Maybe this is being done in their home and they think this is normal behavior? ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How has the way you are treated made you feel? Helpless, stupid, afraid to tell someone? ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How does or has the abuse affected you - how has it affected your confidence, your relationships, and your school studies or just your life right now.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
How have the negative messages that your boyfriend/girlfriend has given you made you feel about yourself?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Do you think the abuse has consumed you completely?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
If you break up:
Good points / what could I gain
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
Bad points / what could I lose?
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
______________________________
If you stay in the relationship:
Good points / what could I gain
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
________________________________
Bad points / what could I lose?
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
_____________________________
What's your worst fear if you end the relationship right now?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What's your worst fear if you continue seeing this person?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Who can you talk to who could help, a parent, family memeber, school mate, teacher?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What personal strengths do you have to help you keep going?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Have you thought about steps you could take to try to change this situation?
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What can you do to feel better and in a safe place (either in the relationship or after breaking up) ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
What things can you do for yourself, to feel stronger? (spend more time with my friends, find a job, keep a journal,pay attention to your school work, etc.
___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
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