Safety is an Illusion

As a nation we would receive a failing grade in the war against violence in the home. Twenty years ago I had tremendous hope that violence would be a battle won when I signed on to change the world and the stop bloodshed. I was wrong. The magnitude of murder, rape, parental alienation, fear, power and control is an epidemic consuming the lives of families.

Over the weekend an article appeared saying “domestic violence laws need review.” How ridiculous I thought to myself, to review what has never been effective, waste more time and in the process more women will continue to die in their own homes. All the studies are a waste of valuable time that many as I write this simply do not have. An order of protection if you are lucky enough to get one means little without the police, prosecutors and a no tolerance community enforcement of that piece of paper. Granted a court order has saved lives, but in my opinion not enough to fill a gymnasium. I can give a long list of those who did not make it and died because we do not have answers. Instead services are like a patch-work quilt poorly sewn together because there is a lack of commitment and most importantly funding for those in the trenches who are fighting to keep women and children alive, barely, one at a time.

You have women gathered on the internet desperately seeking direction, support advice or help for a lawyer to represent them like human beings or to keep their abuser away from the kids. How about the mom who stayed home to raise her children and cannot even scrape together gas money or car fare to attend a hearing for a court order or a divorce hearing where if she does not show up she defaults like at a spots game losing her home, kids and any financial ability to move forward. If it is a divorce she is the one who must pay child support and continue going to court for issues that are nothing more than a game of clear abuse. With ill skilled court personal playing a game that as of late in leading to death.

Then yet another article appeared “the war at home: domestic violence takes a shocking toll”. What rock has everyone been living under? Where are the articles following the woman pleading in a court of law for an order of protection when she is denied? Where are the reporters asking the important questions to the prosecuting attorney’s , judge's and so called mental health "experts" whom are not doing their jobs? Where is the follow-up after the murders of Jack and Duncan Connelly? Why aren’t the people who investigate and bring us our nightly dose of news demanding answers in a dangerous legal system instead of following live coverage of 30-minute car chases?

Cases such as Drew Peterson have generated lots of dollars for networks and advertising sponsors and will continue to do so when his trial begins sometime this year. Why not gear up and send reporters out to the war torn court houses of America and report accurately on the conditions in which women alive and dead are fighting for their lives.

It is upsetting to see troops rally in the form of doctors and public officials when the media reports the onset of reported flu outbreaks in a few states usually amounting to about 20 people causing folks to take action. And yet we have hundreds of thousands of women murdered or terrorized in their homes and they can not even get carfare to save their lives!