Yesterday, on the Susan Murphy Milano Show we highlighted mothers who have lost custody of their children because the court system in this country is ill equipped to properly deal with family issues involving the safe placement for custody of minor children.
Mental health experts prescribed in court by a judge on a “short list” mandated to determine the fitness of a parent and the well being of the children. What is often not determined is the safety of the child, especially when there are serious issues including sexual abuse, as we heard from Taylor’s mother a case in Virginia that wreaks of cover-up all in the name of winning a sick game called “Maternal Deprivation Abuse”. Imagine a legal system who determines financial matters and legal property disbursements using the same method on human lives under the age of 18 with total disregard for the safety and mental wellness of a child. A legal system taking on the burden of proof and yet throws it in the waste basket under their judicial bench. Sadly, with no regard for human lives and more importantly children unable to defend themselves from two evils the courts and their abuser parent as discussed in Lundy Bancroft latest book.
The switchboard was inundated with calls from across the country from mothers asking for solutions on behalf of the silenced, their own children. After the show the email box filled up quickly because we were unable to get to all the callers woith questions.
Mental health experts prescribed in court by a judge on a “short list” mandated to determine the fitness of a parent and the well being of the children. What is often not determined is the safety of the child, especially when there are serious issues including sexual abuse, as we heard from Taylor’s mother a case in Virginia that wreaks of cover-up all in the name of winning a sick game called “Maternal Deprivation Abuse”. Imagine a legal system who determines financial matters and legal property disbursements using the same method on human lives under the age of 18 with total disregard for the safety and mental wellness of a child. A legal system taking on the burden of proof and yet throws it in the waste basket under their judicial bench. Sadly, with no regard for human lives and more importantly children unable to defend themselves from two evils the courts and their abuser parent as discussed in Lundy Bancroft latest book.
The switchboard was inundated with calls from across the country from mothers asking for solutions on behalf of the silenced, their own children. After the show the email box filled up quickly because we were unable to get to all the callers woith questions.
One particular note we received on face book happens to be in my neck of the woods in Will County, Illinois. The same county where the trial for Christopher Vaughn is yet to begin for the brutal slayings of Kimberly Ellen Vaughn, 34, and her three children, Abigayle Elizabeth Vaughn, 12; Cassandra Ellen Vaughn, 11; and Blake Philip Vaughn, 8; all of Oswego, were found in June of 2007, shot to death in an SUV in far Illinois southwest. "Neighbors and friends said they were a nice family and a quiet couple."
This of course it is also the same county Drew Peterson was finally arrested for the murder of Kathleen Savio and remains a suspect in the vanishing act of Stacy Peterson. And let us not forget that Lisa Stebic also from Will County going through a divorce has vanished and no one has been arrested. All of these women and in other cases across the country murdered because their abuser’s were not willing to split assets financially, pay child support or allow their wives to move on with their lives. These women fought and lost with their lives all in the name of a system that is like the storybook character humpty dumpty. It cannot be put back together again because it is broken.
The note said: "I know you are an advocate and maybe you can help - Right now in Will County Courthouse there is mother actually fighting for custody of her two little girls that have undergone sexual abuse. She has DNA evidence - Will County Sheriff's police refuse to send evidence over to the DA and she is being given run around. The DCFS case worker is friend of ex-husband's family and refuses to believe that there is anything going on - Basically they want her to recant and submit herself to intensive therapy which is unwarranted... based on her career, lifestyle and children's success from a previous marriage. The action is occurring in Room 300 in the Will County Courthouse- Many wonder how The Connelly children wound up dead... anyone watching in that courtroom can see how awful our family courts can be…."
On Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 3:00 PM Central Time on The Susan Murphy Milano show will continue the discussion on Mothers losing Custody. Returning to the show are Co-Founder of Protective Mothers Alliance and the case of Taylor and her mother’s fight to regain custody of her daughter lost to a system that denies a mother her rights.
If you would like to email your questions before the show we will try to answer them on-air. The address is kindlivingpress01@gmail.com. Please include the state and city where you live as different laws apply.
We will be taking your calls live at 347-326-9337- Mark computer calendar for 7/8/2009-LIVE!
To listen to the show Mother's Without Custody"turn on the volume on your computer and it will automatically play.
I tried to call in to the show but the lines were busy. I wish I could turn back time. At that time of my divorce I was depressed and could see no way out from my abusive husband. I needed to get away from him. I For 3 Years I have seen the children every other weekend for the entire weekend and holidays. I phone when he allows me to speak to the boys but sometimes in between visatation I am not allowed to speak with my own kids. I call their school to see how their doing and communicate with their teachers. MY EX has done everything in his power to turn the children against me and certainly with some negative effects. I feel like I am constantly fighting not to be seen as the bad person.
ReplyDeleteLewis County, New York
Being a mother without her children is so very lonely. You can't talk to anyone because you already know the negative judgement they will have toward you. There is no one to discuss all the ususal problems associated with being without your children. the internet is full mens rights services and groups Women who are beaten by their husbands are without their children are the ones considered at fault and viewed with distaste and suspicion. Not only do we not have our children, we carry so much pain, guilt and the scorn of others. It is the heaviest of burdens to carry through life.
ReplyDeletePlease don't forget Little Katelynn of Indiana
ReplyDeleteA Brother's Teardrops For Katelynn of Indiana
What..., would you do?
Sugar and spice and everything nice.
This is suppose to every little girls life.
What happens when life is not like that?
What if your life is filled with constant abuse by the people who suppose to protect you?
For little Katelynn of Indiana, her life is filled with this from a father, stepmother and father's family; everyone but her the relatives that love her have been deined the ability to see her.
What happens when the police will not stop this?
Than try Child Protection Service, but they will not stop this either.
The next thing to do is go to the court.
What would you do if the Child Protection Services and the court helped the abusers hurt her?
The media might work but they ignore majority of average people.
In this search for help, several politicians ignored or said stop bothering them.
If these people will not help little katelynn of Indiana than who will?
Will this little girl have to pay the ultimate price for these adults mistakes?
Now....., what WILL you do!?
referral sources:
www.courageouskids.net
Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation: Breaking The Silence: Children's Stories Aired on PBS http://www.mkacf.org/BreakTheSilence.html
Breaking the Silence
http://sev.prnewswire.com/entertainment/20051019/CLW50819102005-1.html
http://www.tatgelasseur.com/pages/bts.html
Battered Women, Abused Children, and Child Custody A NATIONAL CRISIS http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/
JusticeForChildren Mother's Testimony from the Battered Mothers Custody Conference --http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5viwjaIorU8
Petition for Justice for Katelynn:
http://www.gopetition.com/online/5918.html
There is no doubt that this issue is serious. One only has to read the papers to read stories of children murdered because of being court ordered to live with an abusive parent. The stories I hear about children being sexually molested and abused by a parent are worst than horrific.
ReplyDeleteI would like to advise anyone that may want to got to the "Justice for Katelynn" petition not to go unless you have antivirus ware. I went and fortunate for me I have good antivirus ware. I don't know what "Teardrops For Katelynn of Indiana
" is about but I did research and find the same post where ever "Teardrops For Katelynn of Indiana" is posted. I am not able to find out any real info on this story
I know for a FACT that on behalf of Taylor, I have contacted Missing&Exploited children, to be told they dont assist in INNER FAMILY ABUSE, Contacted Allison Arngrim with protect.org to be told there is mountains of evidence, "IT WILL TAKE A POLITICAL FIGURE WILLING TO RISK THEIR CAREER TO SAVE HER" I was told to SHHHH I was puting this child in more danger than she is already in. If THIS IS THE CASE ALLISON ARNGRIM why are you not doing more to HELP TAYLOR, you have completely PUT SHAME TO THE NAME ADVOCATE. I will be disclosing more on this poor child, her mother, and THE SHAMEFUL ALLISON. Please know I have all communications between she and I saved via email. Miss. Allison don't proclaim to be someone your not. And to Taylor I am sorry I have been off track lately, I truly Thank Susan Murphy Milano for SPEAKING UP FOR Children that have been court ordered to a life full of abuse.
ReplyDeleteWell from a man's perspective, going through my own case for child custody with my un-married ex (we were engaged), the courts don't take much into account here in California, they sort of hope the parents agree to something they can stamp.
ReplyDeleteEven when I brought proof of child neglect and proof against lies she filed in court it was tossed away.
I see them run through other cases in 3-5 minutes slapping a gavel of judgement on the table and not using "JUDGEMENT".
Family courts need help, and more needs to be done to console couples as I've seen how my relationship escalated from love to deep hate in a matter of months through the "court system" due to the "dishonest" and "hateful" (out of hurt) things done by both me and my partner.
You HAVE to stop and look at your children first and STOP being a child yourself as an example and loving parent to your kids.
No excuses when you have a mind, heart, and conscious to what's right.
Eric.