Susan Murphy Milano's Journal

Mom on Mission: Protecting Children From Sexual Predators

2012-01-27T01:58:00.000-05:00

Each morning from her home in Richmond, Virgina, Polly Franks begins her day by answering calls and personally responding to the dozens of emails she receives from strangers asking for advice and information on serial sexual predators.

In 1983, "ski-mask rapist"Joseph Frank Smith was convicted twice of raping a woman in San Antonio,Texas.Instead of being sent to prison, a judge released Smith on probation. Smith's attorney convinced the court that he was a candidate for a new procedure called "chemical castration" with the stipulation that he take the drug Depo-Provera and attend weekly counseling sessions for the next ten years. His lawyer argued if his client received regular injections that it would reduce his testosterone level and he would no longer have a desire to rape women and children.

Following his 30 days' in-patient treatment at John Hopkins Hospital, Smith was free to move to Richmond, Virginia to start his new life.

Three years into his castration injections, he met, and fell in love with his treatment nurse, Barbara. The couple married and began a family.

Somehow, with six years left of his court-ordered treatment, Smith was dismissed from the program and instructed to report to the Texas courts by mail until the end of his parole. Frank and Barbara appeared to be your average couple. Smith was an over-the-road truck driver and Barbara a registered nurse.

When Polly Franks and her family moved next-door to the couple she was thrilled. The families spent time together at each other homes. Their children became best friends.

In the early 1990s police received reports from 83 pre-teen-aged girls who had either been raped or molested by a man who would break into home while the children were sleeping. Police were left scratching their heads. This person was not in their database and matched no one currently in their system.

In 1995, while Polly's girls, ages 8 and 9, were at a sleep-over, Barbara Smith caught her husband, naked and masturbating in front of their eight-year-old daughter and the neighbors' kids. Police were contacted. They ran Smith's DNA through a state-wide database. It came back positive for the rape of a five-year girl. Smith was arrested.

When Frank Joseph Smith only received a suspended sentence, Polly Franks was furious. She decided to keep an eye on him, following him each time he moved into a new neighborhood. Undeterred by a childhood disease that had left her dependent on a wheelchair and crutches for mobility, Polly Franks moved with the ease and art of a veteran twenty-year law enforcement officer.

In 1997, Polly Franks got her private investigator license with the sole purpose of bringing Smith to justice. And it was also a way to legally follow Smith. She was determined to learn within the law how to get him off the streets. In 1998, Smith was finally sentenced to 40 years in prison. In 1999, he was sentenced to life plus 20 years after pleading guilty to the rape of a five-year-old and the confession to 83 other sexual assaults with children.

Polly Franks has testified before Congress and lobbied on Capital Hill for tougher sex offender laws.

In 2006, she created the Franks Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to protecting kids from sexual predators. And she provides a rather unique service to young victims of sexual abuse who are treated at hospitals called "Operation Fuzzy." The kits provide a tremendous comfort to the children after a trauma.

"Smith did not get to my children or anyone else's because of parental neglect. Smith's crime spree was a smashing success because repeatedly he was put back onto the streets, 286 victims (that we know of) later."

By his own admission, he was a sex offender from the age of eleven.

He did not go to prison until he was forty-six years of age.

When a child is violated, we are all violated.

Let's help this amazing woman and her organization Polly is Founder and Executive Director of the Franks Foundation, (www.franksfoundation.org) a nonprofit organization dedicated to protecting America's kids from sexual predators. Join me on Twitter atwww.twitter.com/pollyfranks

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

Morgan Harrington Murder: A Grisly Anniversary

2012-01-26T09:53:00.000-05:00

The beautiful, shiny, loving Morgan Dana Harrington was a true original. She brought much joy and fun to family and friends for 20 years. Her light and potential were extinguished when she was abducted from a Metallica concert 10/17/09 in Charlottesville Virginia.

Morgan’s skeletonized body was found at Anchorage Farm, Albemarle County on 1/26/10. The person(s) responsible remain at large, presumably still in the Charlottesville area. Her murder remains unsolved.

The family asks that any information that might help in the investigation of this case be directed to: Virginia State Police tip line (434) 352-3467.

It is important to her family that Morgan’s killer(s) did not erase her from the world and that she continues to create a positive legacy. To honor that the family is moving forward with several educational projects that Morgan, an education major at VT, was personally involved with and you can view them below.

From a Mother to Her Loving Daughter the poem written for the memorial service is titled "Gristly Anniversary" as the family returns today to the bridge where Morgan's remains were found.

"Gristly Anniversary"

When they brought your body back to me
There were just bones to see.
Didn’t look like my baby – Morgan D.
No golden hair, no sparkly eyes
Broken ribs – ugly surprise.
Disposable girl they all said
Skirts too short
Lips’re too red
Askin for it they all said
But what you asked for, screamed for, was mercy and release
Know you got no mercy, pray you found some peace
It’s so hard to do
This life with no you
Saw your friend at a local place
Saw the message on her face
That she’s moved on and we should too
But baby I’m not over the death of you
Gotta shake it off, pity’s no use
We’ve a job to do, still a killer on the loose
It’s another anniversary – not the kind you celebrate
But the kind you sorta hate
Even Hallmark passes here, I’ve looked hard
There’s no “Happy we found your daughter’s body” card
Morgan, I recon a reconing is due
Morgan, he’ll pay for killing you
And have to atone
For every scream – every moan
For each and every fractured bone

241
Mom
1/26/2012

The construction of the Morgan Dana Harrington Educational Wing, OMNI Village, Ndola, Zambia, Africa
OMNI, Orphan Medical Network International, donations may be mailed to:
OMNI
6930 Empire Lane
Roanoke, Va. 24018
Or on line at www.omnimissions.com
OMNI is a 501(c)3 charitable organization

The Morgan Dana Harrington Memorial Scholarship, Virginia Tech-Carilion Medical School
VTC Scholarship donations may be mailed to:
Virginia Tech
Morgan Dana Harrington Memorial Scholarship
University Development
Blacksburg, Va. 24061
Or on line at Morgan Dana Harrington Scholarship

The Harrington family is offering a $100,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person or persons responsible for Morgan Harrington's murder.In addition, the band Metallica is offering an additional $50,000 to the reward bringing it to $150,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person or persons responsible for Morgan's murder.

Sisters of Silence on The Susan Murphy Milano Show -Thursday 2:00 PM Eastern

2012-01-26T01:30:00.000-05:00

Thursday, January 26, 2pm ET

Listen LIVE at: Here Women Talk

Daleen Berry a victim of child sex abuse at thirteen, she was forced into a shotgun wedding after her high school was featured on national television for having the highest number of pregnant teens in the U.S. But then Daleen found herself married to a coal miner who kept her barefoot and pregnant.

By age twenty-one she had four children. Sister of Silence is the amazing story of her personal journey: how she went from being a teen mom to an award-winning journalist determined to break the silence that shatters women and children's lives.

Daleen Berry, Journalist and Author joins us for the hour.

From Amazon

Kenneth V. Lanning, a retired FBI special supervisory agent who spent more than twenty years teaching about family violence at Quantico, Va., wrote the foreword for Sister of Silence. He says it's "ultimately a story of survival and hope." Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, a Johns Hopkins University nursing professor and one of the country's leading family violence researchers, calls Sister of Silence "wonderful!" Campbell was the first professor to place the book on her syllabus. SOS is being taught at the University of Louisville; Dr. Jean Shimosaki, LCSW, MSW, a Bay Area therapist, is using it with her patients, as it provides “a step-by-step guide for healing.” SOS took first-place in the Appalachian category at the West Virginia Writers’ Competition, and was banned at Livermore High School in California and removed from library shelves as “Banned Book Week 2011” began.

It has been featured at “Hope For the Future: Ending Domestic Violence In Families,” hosted by the AIA (UC Berkeley), on The Bob Edwards Show (Sirius XM Radio), and on In A Word, a literary show produced by TV30. The author is a California native who grew up in Preston and Berkeley counties in West Virginia, and went to work at The Preston County Journal. Among her many awards was one in 1990, when she won a first-place award for investigative journalism. In 1997, she worked for The Dominion Post, covering welfare reform. Among her awards are two second-place honors for her 2007 weekly columns in the Cumberland Times-News, one of which was born from SOS. Berry’s articles about Lashanda Armstrong, the mother who drove her van into the Hudson River in 2011, killing herself and three of her four children, appeared online at The Daily Beast. This is what a few people are saying about this book and this author: “Almost never is an interview subject so open or so candid about the most intimate details of the most horrible moments of her life. Daleen is a very brave women and I hope her story will help other girls and women.

usan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

The Roth Show: Asking the Questions-In Graham, Texas Missing Mother Candice Shields Case

2012-01-25T00:21:00.001-05:00

As he does every night, Grandpa secures both the front and back door says goodnight to everyone in the house and heads to bed.

The evening of December 10, 2011, was no different. When he got up in the early morning hour of December 11th, making sure the house was secure, the backdoor was not. Immediately he checked in on all the bedroom doors. His granddaughter, 19 year-old Candice Shields was no where in sight. Nothing in the home was out of place, broken or taken. Grandpa knew something was wrong.

Candice Shields, who lived in Graham, Texas is the mother of a toddler she also is pregnant, expecting her second child.

There is a lot involved with this case. Candice Shields, did not vanish into thin air!

Tonight, Monica Caison Founder of the CUE Center for Missing Persons is in Graham, whom is inTexas searching For Candice and a family member will join Dr. Laurie Roth and I on The Roth Show, tonight at 7:00 PM Eastern time -6:00 PM Central, to discuss this disturbing case.

To Listen Live go to www.therothshow.com

Details about Candice Shields from CUE Center for Missing Persons:

Missing From: Graham,Texas
Missing Since:12/11/11
Classification: Missing
Age at Disappearance:21
Date of Birth: 09/19/91
White Female
Height: 5’3
Weight:130
Hair:Brown
Eyes:Green
Clothing:Black Hoodie sweatshirt – Pajama pants (May have an X-Box 360 logo on them)

If you have any information on this case please contact CUE Center For Missing Persons using the contact form below or contact Cue Center at (910) 343-1131 24 hour tip line (910) 232-1687.

All information submitted to CUE Center For Missing Persons is confidential.

Combating Human Trafficking in South Carolina- Tuesday, January 24, 2012

2012-01-24T00:01:00.001-05:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

CONTACT: Megan Fowler, Director of Communication, (202) 745-1001, ext. 123

Activists Join South Carolina Officials to Combat Human Trafficking

Columbia, SC (January 24, 2012) – Dozens of activists descended on South Carolina’s capitol today to speak out for new state legislation against human trafficking, one of the fastest-growing criminal industries in the United States. At a press conference highlighting today’s Lobby Day, State Representative Nelson Hardwick (R-106), the lead sponsor for a newly introduced anti-human trafficking bill (H. 3757), expressed his commitment to reducing trafficking in South Carolina.

“I am committed to making sure that our communities have the tools to fight human trafficking in South Carolina,” said Representative Hardwick. “All over the country, tens of thousands of people have been brutally exploited for the profit of others. Today’s efforts show that we can all come together to support these victims, hold traffickers accountable, and ultimately, end this crime.”

In addition, Attorney General Alan Wilson, State Senator Brad Hutto (D-40), Solicitor Duffie Stone, and victim service organizations from around South Carolina also joined the activists to express support for aggressive efforts to support victims of human trafficking and prosecute traffickers.

H. 3757 is a comprehensive bill that would criminalize sex trafficking, support trafficking victims, and raise awareness of the problem. The bill gives more tools to law enforcement to combat human trafficking, including asset forfeiture. The bill also creates a civil cause of action for victims of trafficking and establishes mandatory restitution for those who have been victimized. Finally, H. 3757 creates a task force to fight human trafficking through the Office of the Attorney General.

"Human trafficking is a crime that often involves domestic violence, kidnapping, solicitation, and sexual assault," said Attorney General Wilson. "Law enforcement in this state is ready and willing to arrest and prosecute human trafficking offenders, but there currently is no law on the books for them to use. We must do better in South Carolina, and that means immediately passing a law to allow authorities to crack down on this growing crime problem."

Last August, Polaris Project ranked South Carolina as one of nine states in the country whose laws had failed to adequately address the growing crime of human trafficking. In 2011, the National Human Trafficking Resource Center hotline, which helps connect trafficking victims to services, received 163 calls related to trafficking in South Carolina, including 16 tips and 6 crisis calls.

“Over the last year and a half our agency has seen a dramatic increase in the number of human trafficking victims here in South Carolina,” said Tricia Ravenhorst, Director of the South Carolina Immigrant Victim Network. “Having a stronger state human trafficking law that supports widespread training of local law enforcement and supports collaborative efforts to combat this crime is long overdue.”

To report a tip, connect with anti-trafficking services in your area, or request information, call The National Human Trafficking Resource Center, operated by Polaris Project, at: 1-888-373-7888.

###

Sound The Alarms at Fox News for Missing Mother Amy Huckabee

2012-01-23T00:26:00.001-05:00

Update: UNION COUNTY, Ark. (KSLA) - Our CBS affiliate KSLA (http://on.kthv.com/x7sY6F) reports the man wanted for murder and kidnapping in Arkadelphia is dead after a shootout with authorities. Donald Hux, 36, allegedly shot and killed Sandy Huckabee (http://on.kthv.com/w0PzB1), then kidnapped Huckabee's wife Amy and their children. Huckabee's body was found in a home in Arkadelphia. Huckabee is a first cousin of former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.Amy Huckabee is Hux's ex-wife. KSLA reports she is dead as well but authorities are not saying how.

Donald Hux, 36 pictured above was last seen driving a tan 2005 Chevrolet extended cab truck with the license plate 487-MDZ. He is armed and extremely dangerous.

On Sunday Donald Hux stormed into the home of his ex-wife and current her husband. He killed her new husband Sandy Carl Huckabee and kidnapped Amy Huckabee along with the 3 children. The children were dropped off at his parents home, they are safe, but Amy is still missing.

Amy Huckabee's husband Sandy who was murdered yesterday is the cousin to former Governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee. If this tragedy sheds light on intimate partner violence that leads to homicide, I say sound the alarms. The former Governor is also a popular weekend talk show host on Fox. Mike Huckabee has the opportunity to educate the public about the dangers of intimate partner homicide. He has a national platform to educate the world about how victims of intimate partner violence can stay alive. The national stage includes a public service announcement that could include the new site Document The Abuse.com.

Amy Huckabee is still missing

Amy had been threatened by her former husband for months. Those threats extended from when he was serving time in jail for assault. Why the heck someone didn't file additional charges while Donald Hux was behind bars is unknown at this time.

Any one with information is being asked to contact the Union County Sheriff's office at 870-864-1970.

Document The Abuse contains vital information on how the EAA can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responders and advocates, to an appearance in court. It explains the legal benefits to the abuse victim, whether they are able to testify or not, how their words are forever documented and hold up in court, much like a Living Will.

Stacy Peterson: Searching Till She is Found

2012-01-22T08:16:00.000-05:00

Stacy Ann Peterson vanished on October 28, 2007, from the house in the Illinois suburb of Bolingbrook that she shared with her police-officer husband Drew Peterson, her two children and his two sons, whom she'd adopted.

Within 48 hours, camera crews and journalists besieged the once quiet suburban cul-de-sac. Peterson, then a police sergeant, gave them a show -- a bizarre public display including personal attacks on his wife and her family in the wake of her disappearance. The national media covered Peterson's act like a low-life reality TV show. Each day as Peterson left his house, journalists shoved microphones in his face, hungry for a sound bite for evening crime or news broadcasts. If you were a resident of Illinois during the first three weeks after Stacy vanished, you saw Peterson served up on local, cable and radio programs like a charred chicken flapping its wings almost around the clock.

After several months of being stalked and living under her husband's tight, controlling reins, Stacy Peterson told her husband the marriage was over. In October 2007, Stacy met and consulted with divorce attorney Harry Smith -- ironically, the same lawyerKathleen Savio hired to represent her when she decided to divorce Peterson.

When Stacy failed to show up at her brother's house that late-October day, family members were concerned, especially her sister Cassandra Cales. Just two days earlier, after a cozy family night of movie and pizza, Stacy warned Cassandra that she planned to leave Peterson and said: "If something happens to me, I just want you to know it was Drew." When Cassandra couldn't reach her missing sister, she went to Stacy's house and found the four children home alone, with no sign of Peterson's car. At theBolingbrook Police Department, Cassandra filed a missing-person report.

To me, it seemed Peterson treated Stacy's life as something inconsequential. In his attempts to discredit her during media interviews and up until he was arrested on murder charges for Kathleen Savio, Peterson made comments such as "You know she came from a broken home," or, "Her mother went missing too, so this is not a surprise." Then I heard Peterson say, "Stacy is where she wants to be." My heart sank as I thought of the boys who'd now lost a mother twice.

Seventeen days after Cassandra reported Stacy's disappearance, the Will County State Attorney's Office obtained a court order and exhumed the body of Kathleen Savio. Savio, Peterson's previous wife, was discovered dead in a bathtub in the marital house in 2004. Suddenly, the media and police focus swung from Stacy's disappearance to a new autopsy into the cause of Kathleen's death. The effort to find Stacy lost its momentum. The ground began to freeze, making the search more difficult for family and teams of volunteers. And the media remained hooked on Drew's public displays and his love life, leaving no time to find answers or enlist the public's help in finding Stacy.

In the months that followed, I met with people who knew Stacy personally. From the moment she married Drew, Stacy worked to knit a loving family environment, integrating Drew's then-estranged family into the couple's new life. From all accounts, she had a kind, warm and giving heart. People's eyes sparkled when they spoke of her. She made friends and family feel welcome. When a guest didn't show up for a gathering, Stacy called urged, "Come on," one relative recalled. "We're holding dinner, where are you? We're not starting until you get here."

Another told me: "Stacy was the glue, and that's why her disappearance is so painful to those of us who knew her."

Stacy Peterson's dream was to be a loving wife and mother, an all-around nurturer. She enrolled in nursing classes at a local college. When Stacy could no longer live under Peterson's heavy-handed control and constant watch, she made plans to leave. But like many women in her position, she made a mistake. She told her husband what she planned before she was able to move to a place where she'd be safe from him.

Stacy was silenced in the prime of her life. But there can be no silencing of family and friends who will continue to search for her until she is found.

Find out how you can help or offer assistance by going to http://www.ncmissingpersons.org

If you have any information on this case please contact CUE Center For Missing Persons using the contact form below or contact Cue Center at (910) 343-1131 24 hour tip-line (910) 232-1687.

All information submitted to CUE Center For Missing Persons is confidential.

ABC's Show "Private Practice" Sends Dangerous Message to Victims of Intimate Partner Violence

2012-01-20T02:26:00.003-05:00

A long running television show on the ABC network "Private Practice" aired what I considered a dangerous episode for victims of intimate partner violence and homicide. A woman married to a dangerous offender sustains serious injuries after being beaten by her husband. In the hospital the victim talks about killing him. One of the main characters in the show who plays a doctor brings the patient home with her because she has safety concerns for the woman. The doctor in conversation with the victim tells her she has the power to leave basically without using violence.

The husband learns his wife is at the doctors home, storms in the front door, assaults the doctor knocking her out cold. When the doctor comes too you see the victim over the husband, covered in blood, stabbing him repeatedly.

I realize it's "only" a television show, but clearly it sends the wrong message. The scene's of the abuse were incredibly scripted and played out as if they were actually happening. The delivery was powerful.

I did not agree with the message "Private Practice" conveyed to viewers that it is okay to take matters into your own hands when you are married to a violent and dangerous psychopath.

Earlier today on the Show Time's Up, Tracey Murphy's real life was no different than the woman portraying the abuse victim on ABC's"Private Practice". Her life was a living hell sustaining injuries that included broken bones, surgery and threats to her life if she ever left. Ending the abuse was not easy, it took work, but Tracey got out, without committing murder.

Maybe if the shows writer and producers had consulted me I would have directed them to the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit and video found on the site Document The Abuse.com or the book Time's Up.

Below is the podcast from today's Time's Up show. I encourage anyone involved in a rocky and potentially lethal relationship to take a few minutes, download and listen when you have time. Before you say out loud to anyone you relationship is over, you better have a plan.

00:29

59:11

SMM 1-19-2012

Download Podcast - SMM 1-19-2012

The Facts Do Not Change Katie Nagel of Napoleon, Ohio was Murdered

2012-01-19T13:30:00.001-05:00

Yesterday my post on Forbes Crime, She Writes about the murder of 19 year old Katie Nagel from Napoleon, Ohio (Words Can Lead to Murder) caused quite a stir in the comment section and on Facebook pages. I thought it would be better to address the comments here instead of trying to catch them all over the place.

23 years ago on the exact same day that Katie Nagel’s life was taken, my own mother was murdered by someone that no one could believe would do such a horrendous thing. I understand this case only too well. A seemingly loving partner killing the one they profess to love happens day after day and the cemeteries are full. No one wants to believe it and they lash out in anger and frustration. Believe me, I’m used to it!

Although I won’t name sources, rest assured that I would never put my words on the internet if they weren’t backed up by facts. The facts don’t change, not in this case, nor any others. Whether the justice system and the media uses those facts in the proper context is another story.

The article was not written in an accusatory fashion, only reporting on what I had learned, and seen firsthand about the case. I’m accused of being sensationalist using “hyperbole and speculation,” as well as knowing nothing because I’m from South Carolina? Just so ya know, I’m from Chicago!...check your facts, dude!

Yes, I know that we are all INNOCENT until proven GUILTY in a court of law, and nowhere in this article did I state that Mikey Peddicord was convicted of murder, only that he confessed to stabbing Katie Nagel in his own home and called 911 to report it. While Facebook contains a lot of trash talk, there are nuggets to be gleaned in solving cases, and reporting, but I’m not claiming to be a journalist, a lawyer, nor a member of law enforcement.

If those commenting negatively, and those who have emailed me privately, knew beforehand that I have been working with victims like Katie Nagel for over 20 years, have written three books, and blog regularly about such cases, they may be leaving different comments. Obviously, many still do not understand the issue of intimate partner violence or they would understand a lot of information about the conduct of abusers comes from firsthand knowledge working with those in violent relationships.

It’s interesting also that a lot of these comments are calling me out personally, as well as what I’ve written, but I haven’t seen much in the way of comments offering kind words honoring Katie or her family and friends.

So, all of that being said, my fervent prayers are with the family and friends of both Katie Nagel and Mikey Peddicord. This is a great loss to each of their families and a whole community which is feeling the ripple effect of this crime, and it will take some time before the wounds start to heal. After the chaos and grief of this tragedy settles, please reach out and do something in Katie’s name to educate other young people about the very real problem of violence in relationships. Bring it out into the open; get serious about treating violence as a crime and not just some little tiff between two people. Help advocates and specialists like me and become active in doing something to prevent this from happening to the next Katie Nagel in Napoleon, Ohio

Below is the Story Link on Katie Nagel.

Don't Follow

Crime, She Writes

BREAKING DOWN THE HEADLINES

http://www.forbes.com/sites/crime/2012/01/18/words-can-lead-to-murder/

How to Survive a Relationship During Divorce and Custody: The Susan Murphy Milano- Show January 19, 2012 at 2:00 PM Eastern

2012-01-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

The Susan Murphy Milano Show, “Time’s Up!”

Thursday, January 19, 2pm ET

Listen LIVE at: Here Women Talk

Sandra L. Brown, M. A. from The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education, and Susan Murphy Milano welcome a special guest, Tracey Murphy, to the show. Tracey is the co-host of the radio show “Survivors Speak Out” on Dreamcatcher’s Talk Radio.

If you’re living in an abusive hell, this is a show you will want to make a point to listen to. BEFORE you announce to your abuser that it’s over, you are leaving, or you are filing for divorce, there are specific steps you must take to manage your safety. Do not walk out with out it!

Listen Live by go to www.herewomentalk.com

The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (E.A.A.)© is the mastermind process of violence expert Susan Murphy Milano that combines videotaping of an abuse victims’ actual words attesting to abuse, with witnessed and notarized legal documents that successfully satisfy legal hurdles often faced in intimate partner violence and stalking cases.

Document the Abuse.Com contains vital information on how the EAA can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responders and advocates, to an appearance in court. It explains the legal benefits to the abuse victim, whether they are able to testify or not, how their words are forever documented and hold up in court, much like a Living Will.

www.documenttheabuse.com

Brother’s Blood: A Heartland Cain and Abel

2012-01-18T00:20:00.000-05:00

Author and Professor Scott Cawelti grew up in a small, quiet Midwestern town in Iowa which was rocked to its core in 1976 when a complete family, including 2 small children, was violently annihilated in their home. Brother’s Blood: A Heartland Cain and Abel (Ice Cube Press) relates the true story of murder, anger and greed within a family considered pillars of the community. A tragic case of intimate partner homicides.

Jerry Mark, Cawelti’s high school friend, was a Peace Corps volunteer, lawyer, 4-H leader, vice-president of his Cedar Falls High School senior class, and certainly a most likely-to-succeed young man when he graduated in 1960. Sixteen years later he was convicted of four cold-blooded execution-style murders of his own family.

This book is not a whodunit but a whydunit. This account engages readers with the actual facts: the killer’s cross-country motorcycle ride, the landmark investigation in which the murderer was fingered in ten days, the trial where circumstantial evidence was used to make a powerful case against him, and his appeals which continued for three decades.

Scott Cawelti and murder victim Jorjean Mark’s father, George Colthurst, join Dr. Laurie Roth and Susan Murphy Milano on The Roth show to discuss this case which has been compared to Capote’s In Cold Blood. Jerry Mark, convicted and sentenced to 4 consecutive life sentences, has served 35 years and continues to profess his innocence and use all the appeals afforded to him.

Wednesday January 18, 2012 from 7-8pm ET

Listen LIVE: http://therothshow.com

Join Dr. Laurie Roth and Susan Murphy Milano each Wednesday from 7-8ET

About the Author

Scott Cawelti was born and raised in Cedar Falls, Iowa. He attended the University of Northern Iowa (UNI), graduating with a vocal music education degree in 1965 and a Master s Degree in English in 1968,and a PhD in Modern Letters from the University of Iowa in 1978. Dr. Cawelti taught at UNI from 1968-2008 and continues to teach a variety of courses as an adjunct since his retirement. He has published two writing textbooks and edited The Complete Poetry of James Hearst, (University of Iowa, 2001).

www.imaginepublicity.com

A Mother's Sunday Morning Slaughter

2012-01-17T02:12:00.001-05:00

Over the weekend, in an apartment building complex located in Fresno-CA, a young mother by the name of Aide Mendez, 23 decided to smoke some crack, she captured herself getting stoned by recording it on her iPad a couple of hours before she began a killing spree.

Afterwards, Mendez started shooting, killing not only her boyfriend's cousin, Paul Medina, 27, but this sick individual then shot her two kids, 17- month old girl Aliyah Echeverria (she dies at the hospital) and her son Isaiah, age 3, who was pronounced dead at the scene. She then shot and stabbed the father of her children, Eduardo Lopez 33, who managed to escape and run out of the apartment, just as police arrive.

As officers prepared to enter the apartment, another shot was fired. The mother, Aide Mendez, was found dead of a self-inflicted gun shot wound.

Is human life of so little value anymore that a mother slaughters her entire family?

Just before the Christmas holidays, a mother in Emington, Illinois also murderered her entire family before taking her own life.

Violence and the slaughter of innocent lives has become a common theme in households across the county.

Intimate partner violence and homicide is as deadly and common as getting in your car and driving drunk.

I cannot find the words in describing any parent who in cold blood kills their own children.

Peter Hyatt Statement Analysis Expert also wrote about the tragedy.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. And the creator of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit www.documenttheabuse.com

If you would like to schedule Susan Murphy Milano for training and interviews, please contact:ImaginePublicity PO BOX 14946 Surfside Beach, SC 29587 Phone: 843.808.0859 email- contact@imaginepublicity.com

God Can't Stop The Bullet

2012-01-16T02:23:00.005-05:00

I can pretend that I don't understand how anyone is able to love another person so much they are willing to remain in an unhealthy, destructive relationship. But I do.

From a very young age I knew the verbal and physical fighting between my parents was not good, yet I was helpless to do anything about it. My mother, like most victims of abuse loved my father so much, she was willing to remain in the relationship. Did she once stop and think about what it was doing to the kids? No, she like so many victims, never do. My mother believed my father would at some point change, returning to the man he was during the early stages of their relationship. When that did not happen, she would pray to God for help.

Looking back on it now, my mother simply did not have the strength, nor love herself enough to get out before it was too late. She was naive' in thinking her love for my father was enough. But, you can't love the devil. Regardless, in her heart my mother believed with every fiber of her being, God was going to protect her at all costs. My mother, after years of intimate partner violence, murdered on January 16, 1989, was no different than those making front page headlines today.

Lori Yaeger, of Mt. Ayr, Iowa, fell into the same trap. She believed her long time boyfriend, would change his violent behaviors. All she wanted was for him to be the man he was when they first began dating. Friends who knew her tried to get Lori to leave her abusive boyfriend. But what they didn't understand is how much she loved this man. Like my mother, Lori Yaeger believed God would protect her. Last week, Lori the mother of two young girls, was unable see past the abuse, she was murdered. And on Sunday, her boyfriend on the run since the shooting, committed suicide.

Understand, when you are in an abusive relationship, God is not going to stop the bullet.

Victims must cease with the excuses "he or she will change." Yes, leaving is difficult when you "think" you love someone so much that it hurts to be apart. Or maybe you falsely believe you know this persons true heart. They would never carry out the threats. You excuse the abuse telling yourself "words are only spoken when they are angry" or hurt over something they made you believe is your responsibility or out of their control. Bullshit!

If the person in your relationship has to resort to threatening words and physical violence, they are not worthy of the very air you breathe. Pick yourself up, have a plan and get out! What God does provide is others in our lives to shine the light on our path to safety.

I question is anyone really paying attention to what is being offered across the country, created as a result of bloodshed. Concrete solutions exist for victims of intimate partner violence and stalking leading to homicide.

One of these tools is Document The Abuse.com, created from over 20 years of keeping victims and their children alive.

I am reminded of what I consider the most powerful verse in the Bible: John 3:16. God scarified his only Son in order for us to be saved.

Are You In A Highly Lethal Relationship?

Practical Implications of Current Domestic Violence Research: For Law Enforcement, Prosecutors and Judges (National Institute of Justice, June 2009).

The E.A.A. helps victim's to understand their lethality risks in relationships with abusers who have the least propensity to change. Learn more about what the E.A.A. can do for victim's here.

Risk factors that help determine if the abuser will kill the victim. The list below is a combined list from various resources.

__ Threats by the abuser to kill the victim, children or self

__ Fantasies of homicide or suicide

__   Accessibility to weapons

__   A high familiarity with or the use of guns

__   A fundamental belief by the abuser that the victim is owned by the abuser

__   Separation (greatly increase risk)

__   Abuser is obsessive about victim/family and can’t live without them

__   Mental disorders, especially depression, a sense of no hope without homicide and/or suicide

__ Repeated calls to the police and an increase in violence

__ Takes the victim and/or family hostage

__ An increase in the frequency of the cycle of violence, with police involvement in the prior year

__ An increase in the severity of injuries inflicted, with the victim possibly needing medical treatment

__  Abuser used a weapon in prior incidents

__   Abuser caused life-threatening injury in prior incidents

__ Abuser has threatened to use weapons against the victim

__ Abuser has either threatened to or has killed or maimed pets

__ Abuser has raped the victim

__ Abuser beat the victim while she was pregnant

__ Abuser physically abused a child

__ Victim has threatened to commit suicide

__ Recent unwanted separation where the victim obtained an abuse order or filed for divorce

__ Change in custody arrangements and the abuser has limited access to children and partner

__ Victim has entered a new relationship

__ Recent symbolic violence (destroying family pictures, marriage license or other property)

Offender Characteristics

What are other lethality risk markers?

In a national study, other lethality markers that multiply the odds of homicide five times or more over nonfatal abuse have been found to include:

(a) threats to kill, 14.9 times more likely;

(b) prior attempts to strangle, 9.9 times;

(c) forced sex, 7.6 times;

(d) escalating physical violence severity over time, 5.2 times; and

(e) partner control over the victim's daily activities, 5.1 times more likely.

Research has also found that:

~ Male abusers are more likely to kill if they are not the fathers of the children in the household.

~ A Chicago study similarly found that death was more likely if the abuser threatened his partner with or used a knife or gun, strangled his partner or grabbed her around her neck, or both partners were drunk.

A series of interviews with 31 men imprisoned for partner murders revealed how quickly abusers turned lethal.

~ Relationships with short courtships were much more likely to end in murder or attempted murder; these relationships were also likelier to end much sooner than those with longer term courtships.

~ Half of the murderers had relationships of no more than three months with the partners they murdered, and almost a third had been involved for only one month.

In terms of female murders of male partners, the research suggests that:

~ Abused women who killed their partners had experienced more severe and increasing violence over the prior year.

~ They tended to have fewer resources, such as employment or high school education, and were in long-term relationships with their partners at the time.

Characteristics of the Batterer

The following factors relate to the batterer's characteristics:

__ Abuses alcohol or drugs, e.g., "uppers" or amphetamines, speed, angel dust, cocaine, crack, street drugs, heroin or mixtures

__ Obsesses about the partner: "If I can’t have you, no one will," or "Death before divorce"

__ Exhibits extreme male dominance or attempts to achieve such dominance

__ Exhibits extreme isolation and has a lack of support systems or supportive others, while the partner is central to his existence

__ Has a history of violence either with other family members or outside the family

__ Depression, i.e., has expressed hopelessness about the future and is unable to see any alternatives to the use of violence

__ Increased risk-taking, i.e., acting out without regard to the legal or social consequences which previously constrained abuser's violence (abuser may become more seriously violent and injure the victim with visible injuries, or lose job, be arrested for drunk driving, etc.)

__ Abuser has witnessed severe violence between abuser's own parents

__ Has a history of employment or participation in settings where violence has been normalized, e.g., combat

__ Has a psychiatric disturbance, including pronounced disorders such as delusions

Situational Factors

The following factors relate to the batterer's and victim's situation:
~ Presence of weapons
~ Access/proximity to victim

Special Populations

~ Those trained and licensed to carry a badge and/or a gun is also trained to be capable of serious bodily harm. This includes Law Enforcement or Military.

~ Those trained to understand criminal behavior are also trained to understand how some criminals get away with serious injury, abduction, or murder. This includes Law Enforcement, FBI, CIA, Military or others who have had training in criminal mindsets.

~ Victims need to not confuse the perpetrators career with his character. What he does for a living that might be honorable to society does not mean that is his character and he will not further harm you.

Understanding Your Risk

~ The greater the number of check marks the greater the risk. However, even one check mark means he has a characteristic associated with lethal behavior. Do not dismiss even one check mark. These lethality factors have been developed by professionals in the field who have studied what behaviors are most associated with intimate partner homicide.

Ice Cube Press to Publish "Holding My Hand Through Hell" Fall 2012

2012-01-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

I am pleased to announce my new book will be published by Ice Cube Press, scheduled for release in the fall.

By Susan Murphy Milano

Summary

This poignant well-written book tells the story of a police officer’s family and a daughter’s quest for justice long after the murder of her mother embracing a legacy of unconditional love and faith to triumph over a life plagued with unspeakable abuse and pain.

Based on a true story written with the flow of a novel, with frank wisdom and wit, “Holding My Hand Through Hell” encourages the reader to immerse themselves into this family's life and become an advocate for change. It will incite discussion, debate, and heightened awareness about hope, survival, abuse, murder, and its impact on our society. In the end, it will leave readers applauding this woman wondering how she escaped, sometimes at the eleventh hour and now 20 years later, realizing that God, after all was holding her hand through hell, delivering her from the evils of her life in order to save others.

The book will be released in 2012. The forward for the book is written by Diane Fanning, Edgar nominated award winning true crime, fiction author.

Susan is the author of "Time's Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships,"Moving out, Moving on, and Defending Out Lives. Susan is the host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show, "Time's Up!" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host on Crime Wire. And the creator of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit www.documenttheabuse.com

Tragedy in a Texas House of Worship Leads to Ignorance for Victims of Intimate Partner Homicide!

2012-01-13T01:03:00.000-05:00

HELOTES, Texas – On Wednesday, Manual Rodriguez and Zeferina Castillo arrived in separate vehicles and walked in and entered Our Lady of Guadalupe Church. News reports indicate they had been dating.

Around 3:00 o'clock in the afternoon Rodriguez fired several shots at Zeferina and then committed suicide. Neither were members of the church.

In cases of intimate partner violence that leads to homicide, there is a real danger with ending a dating or marital relationship. In many cases, rejection in a relationship can play a key role when the person who is ending the relationship says “I am moving forward with my life without you.” Often the person interprets those words as “I no longer love you or you just are not worth it.” This can set off a fury of emotions. For reasons unknown at this time, Zeferina, a successful business woman and widow, ended the relationship. We do not know firsthand how Manual responded when Zeferina stopped seeing him. But, what we do know for certain is that his last act of control and power over the relationship that he could no longer have was to commit murder. This coward murdered Zeferina Castillo in cold blood at the altar inside the church.

In news stories church members were quoted and one in particular caught my attention

- "I came this morning because I want to pray especially for them in this holy ground," Margaret Sanders said. Sanders said she had been wondering what could have led to the tragic event. "I really have been just praying for those souls that are so tormented that they had to desecrate a church in that manner," she said.

To answer the church member who is wondering what could have led to this tragic event, open your eyes! Intimate partner violence and homicide is an epidemic. Every single day 8-10 women are murdered by their husband, boyfriend or former lover.

Perhaps God is trying to communicate this message into action within faith based communities across the country? It is time to step out from behind the pulpit and go into the community and provide a much needed hand to victims of violence. It should not matter that neither of these two strangers attended this particular church. They are after all, God's children.

It is a likely scenario at our Lady of Guadalupe Church there are current church members living in fear for their lives, staying in the potentially lethal relationship because they have no place to turn for help. Not even in their own church!

The tragic 2007 case of missing mother Stacy Peterson thrust Pastor Neil Schori at the Naperville Christian Church in Illinois, into the national spotlight. Since Stacy was reported missing, Pastor Schori has embarked on a national campaign to educate the Church.

“It takes people stepping up to be part of the solution. I’m doing that and I’d love if you would join me." Across the country a quarter of all women in church today are being victimized and abused. Pastor Schori preaches from the pulpit during Sunday service “we cannot be silent about this anymore.” This amazing Pastor has the backing of all the church leaders, deacons and board of directors.

If the faith based organizations continue to hide behind the beautiful stained glass windows and ignore the war of intimate partner homicide in their own house of worship, they in my expert opinion, are as guilty as those who kill on "scared ground."!

Because of the Pastor and the support of the Naperville Christian church lives are being saved Now Pastor Schori is taking his message and new procedure from behind the pulpit and across the county.

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TIME'S UP! 10-13-2011

Download Podcast - TIME'S UP! 10-13-2011

A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

How to Leave a Dangerous Man: Managing Abuse and Leaving with Your Life: The Susan Murphy Milano Show 2:00 PM Eastern Thursday 1/12/2012

2012-01-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

Thursday, January 12, 2pm ET

Listen LIVE at: Here Women Talk

Sandra L. Brown, M. A. from The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Ed..., and Susan Murphy Milano welcome a special guest to the show who will walk the listeners through the measures taken to keep herself safe and alive.

For a year, she studied the book, “Time’s Up,” line by line, and followed the information contained to the letter, completing the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, and leaving her abuser safely. She offered to come to the show to take the opportunity to explain to listeners the benefits to doing the work involved to live an abuse free life.

www.documenttheabuse.com

I'm excited for this empowering show and like you say, keeping yourself 10 steps ahead is the key. i know i speak for others as well, we all pray for a successful survival and you Susan, have given us the tools to do so.

Completing an EAA educates how to stay safe along with taking all necessary steps to properly Document The Abuse. In addition, along with an emotional sense of security, if anything were to happen, the EAA will be in the hands of the appropriate agency for the appropriate actions and justice can be served because all steps to protect your safety and Document The Abuse have been taken. Thank you Susan for dedicating your life to educating and saving women's lives. forever grateful- comment from a survivor.

The State of Texas: Victims of Intimate Partner Violence and Homicide Ignored?

2012-01-11T02:20:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday Afternoon in a Texas South Welfare Services building, Kimberly Lee Gonzalez, 25, and the mother of three young children was found murdered in a bathroom stall.

In the moments prior, state workers witnessed Kimberly's common-law husband follow her into the women's restroom. The door of the stall is torn of its hinges. Workers find Kimberly slumped over and bleeding from the head, barely breathing. She is rushed to the hospital in Corpus Christi where she dies. A few hours later husband is arrested on suspicion of murder.

How the heck can it be that employees in a welfare office know this is her common law husband?

Where was the security detail provided by the State in the building when the sound of the metal being ripped from the stall occurred?

Where was everyone at the time she screamed for her life? Is it easier to say no one saw or heard anything for fear of a lawsuit by the family? If they knew the husband followed her into that bathroom, they also know and heard the fight and piercing screams in that bathroom.

So how can we prevent this from happening in the future? First, think about the loss of a human life. Three children are now motherless. The State of Texas will, at the taxpayers expense and because the husband is alive, either plea bargain a deal or go to trial. This will cost a minimum of $205,000 from taxpayer pockets either way, no one wins. The price does not include his new life behind bars provided by the State until the day he dies.

Intimate Partner violence costs us all. In part due to lack of tools and resources, followed by rarely treating these cases as crimes. Remember, no one came to Kimberly's aide!

Because everything is dollars and cents with human life, consider that for a fraction of what this tragic murder has, and is going to cost, I could have been brought in to the State of Texas, trained everyone in that building and held class (Spanish and English) for recipients in, or suspected of, domestic violence and stalking receiving benefits from social services welfare department.

The training is for Any person who is likely to have contact with victims of domestic violence and the desire to be a point-of-contact for life saving documentation can be trained.

* Law Enforcement	* Victim Advocates	* Attorneys and Para Legals	* Therapists	* Domestic Violence Agencies
*Women’s Organizations	* Social Service workers	*Emergency Room Personnel	* Public Health Nurses	*911 Responders
*Jails	* Court Personnel	*Prosecutors/State Agencies	* Private Physicians	* College Campus Personnel
		* Clergy

www.documenttheabuse.com

If you need personal assistance I can be contacted through www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com.

or by email at murphymilano@gmail.com

The Sixth Amendment : New Protocol in Cases of Domestic Violence & Stalking

2012-01-10T00:51:00.001-05:00

Until now, the standard response for intimate partner violence and stalking from law enforcement has been:

* Victims are told to report (but action is only taken if you can show evidence of the abuse)
    * Victims are told to go to a shelter
    * Victims are told to get a restraining order (but usually only granted if there is evidence of the abuse)
    * Victims are told to move away (but leaving behind careers, family, and assets)
    * Victims are told to stay with someone else
    * Victims are told stalking is hard to prove and stalking laws are often weak and poorly defined

This response does not help the victim ‘document’ the situations and specifics of her abuse and her abuser. Outside of a police report or restraining order, documentation has still not occurred. In a case of future serious injury, the victim goes missing, or is killed, nothing exists to link her to her story.

Solution: Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit as Historical Abuse Documentation

The E.A.A. has the propensity to document the historical aspects of the abuse and record it to challenge 'hearsay' arguments in a case. By simply following the steps of creating an E.A.A. a victim can provide 'before the event' information that presents the history of her case prior to serious injury, disappearance or death. Click here to read more about how the E.A.A. benefits a victim's case.

Problem: Lack of Documentation of Abuser’s Motives, Habits, Risks, History, Weapons, or Location

Abusers, especially those with high lethality risk factors, are those most likely to seriously injure, re-injure, stalk, ignore stay away warnings, child abduct, or kill. These dangerous abusers are not merely low life criminals but can also often be white collar professionals whom from the surface do not look capable of these life-threatening behaviors. Those abusers without former police reports or arrests are likely to lack the documentation of their impending motives behind future acts of violence. His private personal habits are often unknown as is any mental health or other lethality risk factors such as addictions, undiagnosed mental health problems, housed weapons, impulse control problems, prior stalking behavior, or other acts of perpetrated violence.

Solution: Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit as Abusers Profile Documentation

In cases in which no outside documentation exists (no police reports, no shelter visits, no restraining order, no CPS reports), the only historical information about the abuser is often from those closest to him, including the victim. Partner related assessments of pathological disordered person’s behaviors and motives have been utilized in other settings to help highlight the undiagnosed pathology (see The P-SCAN, Dr. Robert Hare).

Information such as details of how the perpetrator has said he would carry out harming, abducting or killing her can be detailed. Admissions or comments made to her about other victims the perpetrator has harmed can be listed. Likely hiding places for weapons or evidence can be revealed. Possible alibis that he would make up for his defense (including identification of people who could be the perp’s co-defendants in her harm, abduction or murder). If the victim has existing scars or active wounds, they can be documented at the time of the E.A.A. creation.

The E.A.A. has the same informational capabilities of providing unknown and unrecognized abuser and stalking risk factors known by the victim.

Problem: No Way to Identify Her Wishes About Her Children’s Placement In Case Their Parent Is a Perpetrator

In high conflict cases, the perpetrator often does not want, and cannot share, custody of their children. Power and control dynamics coupled with pathology is at the core of why they will do anything to not lose custody—including serious injury, abduction or murder.

In cases where the victim goes missing and there is no Last Will and Testament about her desires for the placement of her children and no legal documentation of her abuse by the perpetrator, custody is almost always given to the other parent should she not be present.

Solution: The E.A.A. as a Suggested Custody Placement Tool

The E.A.A. is utilized as a Last Will and Testament during which the victim indicates she is concerned about serious injury, disappearance, or being killed. Naming the perpetrator as the possible suspect will remove the children from his custody during investigation and/or trial. The victim has the ability in the E.A.A. to name where her children should be placed in case of her injury/death and his arrest. This provides a deep sense of comfort that her wishes are made known regarding children’s placement and that she has made efforts to assure they don’t end up in the perpetrators care.

Problem: Abusers Think They Will Get Away With It Because There Is No Documentation So There Is No Deterrent For Their Behavior

Victims who have no documentation of their abuse (through police reports, CPS reports, restraining orders, stalking reports etc.) often have abusers who think that they have future opportunities to abuse because no one knows abuse is occurring. Believing the victim is not likely to report in the future because she has not reported in the past, abusers feel no deterrent for their behavior. The more times an abuser repeats, the higher the risk factors associated with the victim’s serious harm potential. Some abusers believe that even if she did report and he was not arrested, that in the future he will also not be arrested or his battering exposed.

Solution: The EAA as Future Prevention—As The EAA Becomes a Standardized Protocol in Domestic Violence It Teaches Abusers That All Victims Will Get an E.A.A.

We see a future when the E.A.A. becomes a standardized protocol in intimate partner violence and stalking. Not only will victims be readily utilizing the E.A.A. themselves, but first line responders who interact with victims will have as an automatic process, creating an E.A.A. on every victim. Emergency room physicians, paramedics, domestic violence agencies, attorneys and prosecutors, court house personnel, free clinics…anywhere a victim is likely to go. When the E.A.A. becomes standardized as a model of care approach in intimate partner violence, perpetrators will also know that all victims are being offered the E.A.A.

We see a future when the E.A.A. will actually prevent future acts of violence against victims when abusers know evidence is likely to have been legally documented.

Problem: In Court, Testimony of Prior Abuse is Argued as ‘Hearsay’

A long standing hurdle in the cases of domestic violence and stalking where prior evidence does not exist, is the defense’s argument that family/friends allegations of pre-existing abuse is merely ‘hearsay’ and often dismissed as non-credible evidence. Hearsay is an out of court statement "offered for the truth of the matter asserted" and is not subject to cross-examination, typically because the speaker is unavailable. Such statements are deemed unreliable because of the obvious fact that they can easily be fabricated and can not be tested through cross examination.

The 6th Amendment rights (for the abuser to be able to confront his witnesses) have been a death blow in the past to witness testimony in DV cases in which the victim is missing or dead.

Solution: E.A.A. as Pre-Existing Before The Fact Evidence

After-the-fact testimony on intimate partner violence and stalking is solved with the E.A.A. because it is recorded prior to the fact of testimony. It is prior evidence of pre-existing abuse before the onset of court action. The victim’s pre-recorded abuse testimony, and documented and notarized affidavits, are arguable under seeking admission of the testimony, not merely for the truth of the statement, but for a highly relevant other purpose. Victims often tell others about the abuse or stalking in case she goes missing or is harmed. The legal argument is focused on the effect the abuse had on the victim that impacted her enough to confess fear of death to someone else. Or when victims say “If anything happens to me, please take care for my children’ which offers dynamic impact and is comparable, in some ways, to a dying declaration. Portions of the affidavits of the E.A.A. are a notarized Last Will and Testament, which is a victim’s dying declaration.

Problem, In Court—The Perpetrators Rights to Confront Their Accusers

The 6^th amendment gives the accused the right to face their accuser and to argue the points of the accuser’s statement. There isn’t a person in the United States that doesn’t know that is their basic right. But what happens with the accuser is missing, in a coma, or dead? 6^th amendment rights have been another legal hurdle for domestic violence victims who are no longer alive to tell what happened to them.

Courtwatch Brevard is an organization that tracks the effectiveness of judicial decisions in domestic violence cases. Below is an example of a 6^th amendment and domestic violence case.

http://courtwatchbrevard.org/drupal/?q=node/176

Giles v. California, 554 U.S. 353 (2008)

Facts of the Case

When Dwayne Giles was tried in state court for the murder of his ex- girlfriend, he claimed self-defense. Giles stated that he had heard her vow to hurt him and a friend, and that she had previously shot a man and threatened people with knives. The prosecution then introduced evidence of a conversation between Giles' ex-girlfriend and police in which she claimed that he had assaulted her and threatened to kill her. The district court eventually convicted Giles of murder.

On appeal, Giles argued that use of the police conversation violated his Sixth Amendment right to confront witnesses against him, namely, his deceased ex- girlfriend.

The California Supreme Court held that Giles had waived this right because he was the cause of his ex-girlfriend's absence. Although this exclusion was justified under common law rules of "forfeiture by wrongdoing", the Supreme Court had greatly constrained the admissibility of such evidence in its 2004 holding in Crawford v. Washington. Crawford essentially wiped out the admissibility of such out-of-court statements unless the testimony could be subject to cross-examination at trial, an option that would be impossible under these circumstances. This case gives the Court an opportunity to expand on its decision in Crawford and to apply it to a situation where the wrongdoing that kept the witness from appearing in court was not motivated by a desire to prevent the witness' testimony.

Question
Are a criminal defendant's rights under the Confrontation Clause of the Sixth Amendment violated when the common law "forfeiture by wrongdoing" doctrine is applied to allow out-of-court statements made by a witness, absent due to the defendant's own conduct, into evidence without giving defendant an opportunity to cross-examine the absent witness?

Conclusion
Yes. In a 6-3 decision, the Court held that the forfeiture by wrongdoing exception only applies to situations where the defendant causes the witness' absence with the intention of preventing that witness from testifying at trial. Without this intention, any act by the defendant making the witness unavailable does not waive that defendant's Sixth Amendment right to confront and cross-examine the witness, and therefore any out-of-court statements made by the witness are inadmissible as evidence. Justice Antonin Scalia delivered the opinion of the Court.

Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a concurring opinion stressing his belief that statements such as those made by the witness in this case should not implicate the Confrontation Clause at all because the police questioning was not a "formalized dialogue." Justice Samuel Alito also wrote a concurring opinion suggesting that the witness' statements, in his view, did not fall within the Confrontation Clause but noting that neither party had made this argument before the Court. Justice David Souter, joined by Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, concurred in all parts of the majority opinion except one section denouncing the dissenting argument. Justice Souter stated that he did not find the dissent as wrongheaded as the majority suggested.

The dissent, written by Justice Stephen Breyer and joined by Justices John Paul Stevens and Anthony Kennedy, argued that a defendant loses his right to confrontation when he makes a witness unavailable due to his own wrongdoing, even if he did not act with the specific intention of preventing her from testifying at trial. (Used with permission of Courtwatch Brevard)

Solution: Proving Forfeiture with The E.A.A.

A pre-existing videotaped notarized testimony of a victim’s abuse would secure the forfeiture law in her case. The ability to link her disappearance through her testimony and evidence that she leaves behind, prevents the perpetrator from benefiting from her absence and the ability to testify.

A Victim’s Case Example Where An E.A.A. Was Needed

Vashti Seacat, murdered by law enforcement officer husband

The couple had been married since 2004. During the marriage Vashti Seacat had given birth to a son in 2007 and another in 2009. Child support was ordered to be paid by a judge in the amount of $1,281 beginning on May 15, 2011.

Vashti Seacat had filed for divorce from her husband Brett Seacat just 16 days before a sudden fire on April 30th which caused heavy damage to the family home. Her husband at the time was employed as a police instructor at the Kansas Law Enforcement Training Center after a number of years with the Sedgwick County Sheriff’s Department. In the divorce papers a judge ordered Seacat out of the marital home within 24 hours of being served the papers however, he remained in the home despite the order to vacate.

The boys and their father would escape the blaze without injury but Vashti Seacat was not so lucky. She would not die as the result of the fire, but according to the medical examiner a gunshot wound to the head. The medical examiner was unable to determine whether the wound was self-inflicted because the entry wound was destroyed in the fire. Brett Seacat then easily made claims his soon to be ex-wife was “suicidal.”
Last week in court, after two long days of testimony, the judge decided there was enough to charge the former law enforcement officer with murder. He is being held on $1 million dollars bond and the next court date is schedule for January 6, 2012.

Tragically, this is an all too common with a case ending in murder. Vashti suffered constant abuse including threats to her life at the hands of her estranged husband. Vashti and her fears are now left to “hearsay” statements repeated by friends and relatives in the aftermath of her murder.

What should have happened but did not, was Vashti Secat could have prepared the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. She could have done this at the courthouse, therapist's office, or at a remote location to document the abuse. It would then be witnessed by two people and then it would have been notarized before video taping her own words about the abuse in the relationship and her fears of being killed. This would remove "hearsay" and any doubt that she feared for her life.

If you are considering ending a relationship, before you say the words out loud "it's over,” before you go to court and file for a protective order from the courts, and before you see an attorney, prepare the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit.

With the E.A.A. your words will count and will account for your history of abuse. With the E.A.A. no one can try to claim you killed yourself or if you just happen to go missing, the E.A.A. will serve as your voice and the person responsible for your harm will be arrested.Benefits of The E.A.A.

The E.A.A. provides legal and evidentiary support to the issues of:

    *Historical Documentation for the timeline of her abuse
    *Proof of Stalking
    *Affidavits as Abusers Profile Documentation
    *Suggested Custody Placement
    *Possible Prevention of Future Acts of Violence By Perpetrator
    *Legal Defense Arguments of Hearsay

The new site Document the Abuse.Com contains vital information on how the EAA can support each case of abuse from the perspective of the first responders, prosecutors, family attorneys, victims and advocates, to an appearance in court.

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.
A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

Dying to Check a Box

2012-01-09T01:49:00.002-05:00

I can't keep up on the volume of cases where the ending of a marriage or relationship is resulting in murder. The cases of intimate partner homicide are not random acts. They are well thought out and carefully executed crimes. The victims never quite believe the person with whom they are involved or legally married will take the abuse to a level of murder.

Shelby Wilkie, 38 Henderson, North Carolina

While Shelby Wilkie of Hendersonville, NC was alive, she knew enough to check a box on paperwork for a court order of protection in October of 2010, writing, " believed she was in danger of serious and immediate injury." The court order Shelby obtained, is dropped a few weeks later. Perhaps at the time the reasoning in forgiving him is because they were married just days prior to her obtaining the court order. I can hear the violins of the abuser orchestra playing "I'm so sorry baby, I'll never touch you again, I swear. " They reconnect, she gives him another chance.

This is how many victims of abuse handle the violence, if they are lucky enough to still be breathing. The victim forgives and forgets about the threats and fear to her own personal safety, until the next time it happens. Or, they are what I call the "veteran victims." The women, time and time again forgive the person with whom they took an oath to love, honor and cherish until the day they die, to be with this person through thick and thin. To not fully understand the words "till death do us part" to a habitual abuser often translates into a missing person or murder case.

My own mother was a veteran victim. My father a serial abuser who also happened to have a badge and a gun. I use my parents as a prime example of what continues to erase the lives of families. My mother, throughout my childhood, continued to forgive my father. She told us kids growing up that when we were grown and safely on our own she would leave him. A song which is often sung, off-key, by veteran victims. My mother did eventually leave and attempt to move on with her life free of the violence, but it didn't last very long. My father was furious about not being able to control her. In his mind, he would make her pay for leaving him. This landed her in a new home; the cemetery located in Arlington Heights, Illinois.

I want to believe victims of abuse are paying attention. I do not want anyone to have to live by the seat of their pants in fear for their lives, or their children's, not knowing if they will see another new day.

Any clue what that is like? It is sheer hell! Why, if you are in an abusive relationship would you continue to put yourself in harms way? And, why are you doing it to your children!

A few weeks ago we launched the site Document The Abuse.com. If you are involved in a potentially abusive relationship, or you're really not sure how your partner will react to the news the relationship is ending, completing the information on the site is one of the steps you need before you announce, it is over.

You can either take my advice and work towards ending the relationship with your life in one piece, or, you can not listen and possibly end up like Shelby Wilkie found murdered at the hands of her husband last week leaving a newborn behind. And guess what else? I can include you in the hundreds of murdered victims of intimate partner homicide, I write about or feature on my radio programs each and every week!

If you need personal assistance I can be contacted through www.saferelationshipsmagazine.com.
or by email at murphymilano@gmail.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.
A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime.

The New Year: Week in Review Intimate Partner Homicides

2012-01-06T03:08:00.000-05:00

Tragically, since the New Year there have been far too many murders involving those ending their marriage or relationship. All of those listed below will only be remembered on a news link, followed by a headstone. Not one of these women who lost their lives understood the dangers enough to have a solid plan in place.

There is a new site called "Document The Abuse" and included on the site is a "lethality Checklist." We must all learn from those lives abruptly silenced. The victims lost their lives in a war of intimate partner homicide. Going into a battlefield without being prepared will get you killed.

Woman Killed, Man Shot in East Side Tacoma Shooting

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Tacoma, WA: A 22-year-old man suspected of fatally shooting his ex-girlfriend and injuring another man late Sunday in Tacoma was later found dead. Officers found the man at Larchmont Elementary School about 4:45 a.m. today, Tacoma police spokesman Mark Fulghum said. He had died from what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound. » more at The News Tribune

Man in Custody After Three Shot, Two Killed in Lauderhill

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Lauderhill, FL: Police early Monday said a man was taken into custody in connection with the shooting that killed his wife and her daughter and wounded his grandmother during a domestic dispute. According to information released about 4:30 a.m., Eric Montgomery, 28, was taken into custody without incident at his mother's home along the 2500 block of Northwest 14th Street in Fort Lauderdale. » more at Orlando Sun-Sentinel

Concord Police: Man Killed Wife, Self

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Concord, NC: Concord police say it appears as if a man shot and killed his estranged wife, wounded another man, and then killed himself Sunday evening at a house in the southwest side of the city. Killed in the incident were Isidra Ramos Sarabio, 30, and her estranged husband, Eladio Hernandez-Pelaez, 54. Wounded was Fredy Guzman, 33. » more at Charlotte Observer

Byng Woman Shot To Death, Husband Accused

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Byng, OK: A Pontotoc County woman found shot to death this weekend, the suspect -- her own husband. He went before a Pontotoc County judge today and our Cameras were there. Police arrested 39-year-old Johnny Quinn Campbell Sunday night, in connection with the death of his wife 33-year-old Jennifer Louise Campbell. Residents in the quiet town of Byng, Oklahoma, just few miles north of Ada, said they were shocked late Sunday night when they realized authorities were searching for a suspected killer. » more at KXII TV

80-Year-Old Man, Girlfriend Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide

Monday, January 2, 2012

Uvalde, TX: Two people are dead in Uvalde in what appears to be a murder-suicide. Police were called to the residence of 80-year-old Elias Varela on Monday after receiving a call saying there was going to be a murder-suicide. Within just a few minutes SWAT teams responded to the scene where they heard a single shot fired. » more at KENS 5

Glastonbury Woman Charged In Newington Motel Homicide

Monday, January 2, 2012

Newington, CT: A 35-year-old woman has been charged in the fatal shooting of a man at the Carrier Motor Lodge late Monday, police said. Alanna R. Carey, of Glastonbury, is being held with bail set at $1 million pending her arraignment Wednesday at Superior Court in New Britain. » more at Hartford Courant

Man, 32, Arrested in Girlfriend's Death

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

St. John's County, FL: Detectives with the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office have arrested a 32-year-old man on a charge of second-degree murder in connection with the death of his girlfriend early Tuesday. Terrell Lee Jordan II is charged in the death of Kristi Lynn Dennis, 29. » more at News4jax.com

Police: Missing Woman’s Body Found, Husband Arrested

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fort Smith, AR: A woman’s body has been found in rural Crawford County and her husband has been arrested in connection with her death, police say. Sgt. Daniel Grubbs with the Fort Smith Police Department said the body of Cassie Leigh Cotta was found Tuesday afternoon in rural Crawford County. » more at The Times Record

Lebanon Man Charged in Death of Girlfriend

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Lebanon, PA: A 25-year-old man has been arrested and charged in the strangulation death of his girlfriend, police said. Nathan Patrick, of the 200 block of South 9th Street, has been arrested on charges of criminal homicide and aggravated assault in the death of Jennie Cassel. » more at pennlive.com

Deputies Investigating Apparent Murder-Suicide

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hartwell, GA: The Hart County Sheriff's office and the Georgia Bureau of Investigation are looking into what appears to be a murder-suicide, according to deputies. According to Cleveland, the bodies of 66-year-old Linda J. Whitfield and 65-year-old Carey T. Whitfield were discovered in their home Tuesday morning around 8 a.m. by one of their two adult daughters. » more at WYFF 4

More Details Emerge in Libby Murder-Suicide

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Libby, MT: On Tuesday morning, a Libby man with a legal history with Lincoln County law enforcement called 911 saying he killed his wife, and that he would turn the gun on himself. "We received a phonecall at about 6:28 hours, from a male caller, at 1217 main avenue, that he had shot his wife and he was going to kill himself," said Lincoln County Sheriff Roby Bowe. » more at KTVQ TV

Couple Found Tuesday in Murder-Suicide Were in the Midst of Divorce, Friends and Authorities Said

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Corpus Christi, TX: A couple found fatally shot Tuesday at a home off Ocean Drive were separated and in the midst of a divorce, friends and police said. The bodies of Pamela Frances Stanley and Richard Anderson Stanley, both 71, were discovered about 5:30 p.m. by a friend at a two-story home in the 200 block of Aberdeen Avenue, Corpus Christi police said. » more at Corpus Christi Caller-Times

Man Kills Wife at Hemet Courthouse, Turns Gun on Himself

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hemet, CA: Authorities say a man fatally shot his estranged wife at the Hemet Courthouse Wednesday, then turned the gun on himself in his car a few miles away. Police received a call around 8 a.m. Wednesday about a woman being shot at the courthouse, located in the 800 block of North State Street. » more at KTLA TV

Husband Charged In Death Of Dayana Bados

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Milwaukee, WI: Charges have been filed against the estranged husband of a woman found dead in their home Wednesday. The Milwaukee County District Attorney's Office has filed charges of first-degree intentional homicide against Jose Luis Discua-Bados in the death of his wife, Dayana. » more at WISN TV

Man Accused of Killing Woman in Fort Mill Shooting

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Fort Mill, SC: Fort Mill police said they've arrested a man accused of shooting and killing a woman at an apartment complex in Fort Mill on Thursday. Jackie Lashon Craine, 34, was killed and her 16-year-old son sustained non-life threatening injuries after Enrico Diago, 38, shot them in their vehicle at the Avery Lake apartments on Lestina Drive. » more at WCNC TV

2 Dead in Shooting at FPL Food in Augusta

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Augusta, GA: Two are dead after a murder-suicide Thursday afternoon involving a husband and wife at FPL Food, 1301 New Savannah Road. According to Richmond County sheriff’s Sgt. Dan Carrier, an FPL Foods employee, identified as Emanuel Jordan, 21, fired several shots at the property around 1:15 p.m. According to Chief Deputy Coroner Mark Bowen, he killed his wife, Tia Jordan, 40. » more at The Augusta Chronicle

Divorcing Couple Found Dead in Overland Park

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Overland Park, KS: An Overland Park couple who had recently filed for divorce were found dead Thursday in an apparent murder-suicide. Debra Beaver, 56, was found with a gunshot wound to the neck inside a car in a southern Overland Park subdivision near 143rd Street and Nall Avenue. Barry Beaver, 58, whom police had been looking for since the shooting, was found dead near 139th Street and Lamar Avenue. » more at kansascity.com

Source: www.domesticviolencecrimewatch.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.
A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

The Susan Murphy Milano Show: Protective Mothers & Custody- Guests Dr. Mo Hannah and Barry Goldstein

2012-01-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

"All across this nation, we are witnessing widespread, shocking injustices inflicted on battered women and their children by the family courts.

So pervasive and serious are these injustices that every year, battered mothers and their professional and lay advocates from across the country gather together at the Battered Mothers Custody Conference, a weekend event dedicated to addressing these issues.-- Dr. Mo Hannah"

Our guests for the hour Dr. Mo Hannah and Barry Goldstein, Esquire

Mo Therese Hannah, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Siena College. Loudonville, New York. As a practicing clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy, she is an Advanced Clinician in Imago Relationship Therapy and serves as an Academic Faculty Member of Imago Relationships International, the professional training organization for Imago Therapy. Having served since 1996 as Editor/Managing Editor of the Journal of Imago Relationship Therapy, she has published five books and produced numerous articles and presentations on topics related to relational psychology.

With Joe Marrone, Ph.D., she is the author of The EQ (Social-Emotional Intelligence) Program, which teaches elementary aged children the principles and practices of good character and of equitable and respectful relationships. Dr. Hannah directs the EQ Program at Siena College, in which Siena students are trained to teach the EQ lessons to children in Capital District-area schools.

Dr. Hannah's interest in abusive dynamics and their impact on interpersonal relationships and in forensic psychology led her to plan and chair the first Battered Mothers Custody Conference in the Country.

Barry Goldstein has fought battles in the trenches and the courtrooms in an attempt to keep battered women from losing their treasure, their children. He continues to work with agencies and educators and has joined his expertise with others in the battle against violence in the home. Goldstein is a nationally recognized domestic violence expert, speaker, writer and consultant. He is the co-editor with Mo Therese Hannah of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY. Barry can be reached by email at their web site www.Domesticviolenceabuseandchildcustody.com

BARRY GOLDSTEIN, attorney, teacher, author and advocate for women abused by their partner (and too often the courts) has written a book for women seeking to leave their abusers and for their friends, family, supporters and advocates. SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY Paths From Family Violence to Safety tells the story of ten women as they left their abusers seeking a better life. The book shows in these abuse cases how courts handle legal issues such as orders of protection, custody, visitation, support, marital property and criminal prosecutions. It tells about the resourcesavailable for women seeking to leave their abuser. Click the links to learn more about the book, author or to view frequently asked questions (FAQs). The book is published byRobert D. Reed Publishers and is available at book stores online and off.

Go to www.herewomentalk.com and listen in live!

Thursday, January 5, 2pm ET

Cassie Leigh Cotta: "Hey We Need to Pay Attention- Our Women Are Dying!"

2012-01-04T01:21:00.002-05:00

Cassie Leigh, 24 of Fort Smith, Arkansas was reported missing on December 30, 2011. In this case her husband actually participated on searches for her, something rare in missing person intimate partner homicides.

On Cassie's Facebook page her husband left the message below the day before she vanished. And the couple had a history of domestic violence assaults.

" Brent Cotta Cassie Leigh Cotta"

Hey call me please

On her about me Facebook Cassie says "I'm independent, outspoken, in your face brutally honest"

This young woman who was a vibrant live fireball brought a community of strangers together for the goal of finding her. Most did not know her personally. They responded to a public call for help by her family.

To me, one look at her Facebook page and numerous comments says from the wings of angels Cassie Leigh was directing the shots somehow, if possible for her own search.

Hours ago, the husband took police to where he dumped her body. He has been charged with first degree murder of his wife.

Cassie was not about to take anymore shit. The guy she married had a control and rage issue that began in her eyes with harmless verbal threats to physical assaults. She like so many other young women, just like her, refused to believe his actions and threats would end Cassie's Life.

Maybe Cassie's family will consider creating a public campaign using her amazing tattoo artwork on posters with information about awareness on domestic and stalking to tattoo and body piercing parlors. Something like: "Yea I'm Tough. But I know When I'm Hit The 1st Time By a Boyfriend or Husband, It's Time To Walk Away.

Cassie Leigh's Favorite Listed Quote: "As we grow old, we learn that even the one person who wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You will have your heart broken more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts, too, so remember what it felt like when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for the things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and eventually, you'll lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend being upset is one minute that you'll never get back."

www.documenttheabuse.com

Susan Murphy Milano is a staff member of the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education as a educator and specialist with intimate partner violence prevention strategies directing prevention for high risk situations and cases.
A national trainer to law enforcement, training officers, prosecutors, judges, legislators, social service providers, healthcare professionals, victim advocates and the faith based community and author.. In partnership with Management Resources Ltd. of New York addressing prevention and solutions within the community to the workplace. Host of The Susan Murphy Milano Show,"Time's Up !" . She is a regular contributor to the nationally syndicated "The Roth Show" with Dr Laurie Roth and a co-host onCrime Wire. Online contributions: Forbes : Crime, She Writes providing commentary about the hottest topics on crime, justice, and law from a woman’s perspective, as well as Time's Up! a blog which searches for solutions (SOS) for victims of crime

Kelly Rothwell: "The Law Enforcement Community in the State of Florida"

2012-01-01T12:39:00.001-05:00

My comments on a nationally syndicated program, The Roth Show just before Christmas created a firestorm among law enforcement in Florida and in particular, within the Academy graduating class where Kelly Rothwell was scheduled to graduate and become a police officer.

As the reporter wrote after the show my words are meant to make you think and take action. After all these years I still consider myself part of the law enforcement family. Growing up I lived and breathed the life of a cop's kid. Understanding and respecting, long after the murder of my mother, the inner workings within departments. Working cases of law enforcement involved intimate partner violence as if it is a member of my own family, requiring full attention.

On March 12, 2011, during the late afternoon, Kelly musters the strength to meet her boyfriend David Perry to announce the relationship was over, she was moving out and on with her life minus him.

David Perry was the last person to see her alive.

So to the cadets, yes- I expected each of you to take the knowledge being taught at the police academy, if need be, on your own time and do everything in your power to look for Kelly. She was one of you!

As I watched news reports from the Pinellas County Sheriff's office following the days she was reported missing, comments from the department spokesperson of "we know Mr. Perry has left the state and we are trying to get him in to talk," translated into words,in my expert opinion, not enough investigative action on the ground.

Training and investigation on intimate partner violence cases at the Academy including continuing education for law enforcement agencies must incorporate tools and techniques bringing cases to a safe, successful outcome. They include information provided on the newly launched Website Document The Abuse. It includes the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, something Kelly could have prepared prior to her confronting Perry, resulting in an immediate arrest based on the fear and threats told in her own words witnessed, notarized, video tapped.

Each month I deal with hundred's of intimate partner violence cases successfully. Those reported missing either did not know where to go and what to do or law enforcement had yet to be taught enhanced methods of training for successful outcomes.

Law enforcement no longer has the "right" to remain silent in cases of criminal domestic violence and stalking, especially when it is one of your own.

Time's Up!

Below is more on the story:

INDIAN ROCKS BEACH, Florida (Isabelle Zehnder reporting) -- The new year has brought a renewed hope that missing Florida police cadet Kelly Rothwell will be found so that her family can have closure and so justice can be served.

After nine months of searching, police finally got a break in Kelly’s case. A woman recently saw a news report that Perry had recently remarried. When she saw his photo, she said she knew it was him who she’d seen the day Kelly went missing. She remembered the date because her mother had just passed away.

The CUE Center for the Missing organized a search this weekend. Tricia Reis, who has worked diligently to keep Kelly's story alive, said, "They are down there now. There are two places of interest they will be searching." She said one area that will be searched will be the park where the witness says she saw Perry. "They will be there through Sunday," she said. The search began Friday.

The witness said when they locked eyes he hid behind a tree. For more details read: Kelly Rothwell: After months, police get break in missing Florida woman’s case.

Kelly's very close friend, Donna Scharrett, is at the weekend search. She posted on her Facebook wall, "Humbled and amazed at the outpouring of love & support shown by so many who never had the opportunity to know Kelly Rothwell. She sees all of these people, she feels all of this love and dedication. Tiffany's restaurant in Palm Harbor donated 100 sandwiches and water, thank you."

Kelly Rothwell, 35, went missing from her condo in Indian Rocks Beach, Florida, within hours of telling her best friend, Donna Scharrett, that she was on her way there to end her relationship with then-boyfriend, Dave Perry.

Kelly’s downstairs neighbors told police they heard three thugs followed by the sound of a vacuum cleaner within an hour of her arrival at the condo she shared with Perry. Kelly was scheduled to have dinner with her fellow classmates but never made it there. She was never seen or heard from again.

Police say they believe Kelly is dead and that Perry is their prime suspect.

Kelly's fellow classmates' promise

After Kelly went missing her classmates had a plaque made in her honor that read:

“Thank you for your dedication to our academy. We will always remember the time shared with you in class. You are forever in our hearts and will continue to be an inspiration to us throughout our careers.
“We won’t stop looking for you.” PRO #177 “CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP.”

Two weeks ago, Intimate Partner Violence Specialist Susan Murphy Milano sent a strong message Kelly's classmates, two of whom came forward saying they were offended by a comment she made.

Murphy Milano said during a recent phone conversation that the intent of her comment was not to offend, it was in hopes of lighting a fire under Kelly’s fellow classmates, most of which have gone on to become police officers and sheriff’s deputies.

During her appearance on the Dr. Roth Show, Murphy Milano said she hoped the cadets, who have not actively helped search for their fellow classmate, would “have a rotten Christmas.”

She said, “I hope they think about their comrade, out there, somewhere, who needs to be found.”

One of Kelly’s fellow cadets, Jared S., was offended by Murphy Milano’s comment. Part of his response on Facebook Thursday read, “As for Susan Murphy Milano, you should be ashamed of yourself, for telling Kelly's class, who are now police officers, and sheriff deputies, to have a rotten Christmas. It shows your true colors for having the audacity to say that to the men and women who protect you day in and day out.”

It is hoped that as police officers and sheriff deputies they can use their training and resources to help Kelly.

Murphy Milano’s words were harsh, they were cutting, but they were the truth. They were also heart-felt and meant to light a fire under those who she believes should be searching for their friend or helping in whatever way they can.

“Embrace me,” Murphy Milano said. “As a police officer’s daughter, who has had many a rotten Christmas and who, too, has been bashed. I have, at times, been criticized for the work I do protecting those who are still alive and seeking the truth and justice for those who are no longer with us.”

Murphy Milano said she doesn’t want to be the lone ranger in this epidemic of intimate partner violence. It is her hope to provide knowledge and tools to stop the bloodshed.

She was the victim of a horrendous crime – at a young age, Murphy Milano found her mother murdered by her father, who had turned the gun on himself. She believes Kelly fell victim to a crime just as horrendous.

One has to wonder what Kelly might have done if any one of her classmates had gone missing under similar circumstances. Would she be actively looking for them? What would they want and expect from Kelly if they were in her shoes?

Jared wrote, “I have bit my tongue long enough with all the ‘cadet bashing.’ As a member of PRC 177, and classmate of Kelly, I can say she would not want this type of blame game going on.”

Donna’s friend, Tricia Reis, who from many miles away has done all she can to help keep Kelly’s story alive said, “This is not Donna playing a blame game. Donna has been asked repeatedly where the cadets were at many of the events by attendees as well as the media and she has ALWAYS given gracious replies that divert any negativity away from the cadets.”

Donna is Kelly’s best friend who stayed up until 3 a.m. with Kelly the night before she vanished, and who was with her the day she vanished. She heard Kelly’s fears and concerns when she wondered how Perry would take her wanting to leave him.

She also heard a renewed confidence in Kelly and her excitement about moving on with her life away from Perry. She was also excited that she would soon be doing what she longed to do – becoming a police officer to serve her community – as her classmates have gone on to do.

The cadet said, “If it was up to our class, we would have been out there searching, unfortunately, we didn't have the final say at the academy. If anything, it should have been taken up with the academy director.”

Tricia said, “Donna has always been positive and hopeful and handled things in the way she knows Kelly would have wanted her to. That said, there were many events planned besides the latest search. A vigil every month, a pancake breakfast fundraiser, the CUE [Center for the Missing] road to remember bus tour stop.

“In all of those events, scheduled on all of those different days … ONE cadet showed up. That’s not bashing, that’s the truth. People notice that,” she said.

At this juncture it is hoped that Kelly’s fellow classmates will realize Murphy Milano’s comment was meant not to hurt, but to help Kelly.

Kelly is out there, somewhere, and she needs to be found. Justice needs to be served.

If she met her demise at the hands of Perry, as many believe, should he be walking free?

Perry was in a new relationship with a beautiful young woman who thankfully has filed for divorce. Police had warned Melissa Marie Walker about Perry but she went through with the wedding. Her family learned about Perry’s past and begged Melissa to leave him.

Melissa said she did her research and recently decided to file for divorce. The two had met on Craigslist just two weeks after Kelly disappeared. Melissa has admitted she made a huge mistake in marrying Perry. Now police are working to keep her safe. Perry was incarcerated but later released for defrauding the state of New York in a bogus workers’ comp injury case.

Perry was also married before and according to Donna, his ex-wife has her own stories to tell of abuse at the hands of her ex-husband.

The work Donna, Tricia, and Sandy, who Tricia says helps them mostly behind-the-scenes, do for Kelly is hard and lonely.

What these women want and need is the support of Kelly’s classmates, her friends, and her community, and to know the her classmates will uphold the promise they made to Kelly: “We won’t stop looking for you.” PRO #177 “CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP.”

Until Kelly’s case is solved everyone needs to rally together to find her. In whatever way they can.

Pinellas Detective Michael Bailey reminds the public that every tip, no matter how small, should be called in to police as it helps lay the groundwork in the case. Detectives are now calling the case a homicide. If you have information about the case, please call Crime Stoppers of Pinellas County at 1-800-873-TIPS.