Clear Motive

It was two days after Christmas and 18 days after the ink barely dry on the divorce papers when, Mathew Schneider stormed into the home of his ex-wife as their 8year-old watched when "daddy" shot Mom and her new boyfriend multiple times before turning the gun on himself.

Brandy Schneider filed for divorce in Stark County Ohio, April 2009. She informed the courts and others "he is going to kill me."

According to the police chief “we need to see who else we need to interview and start working backward from the crime to see what his (Schneider’s) state of mind was and his motives.”  The shooter’s state of mind is clear as is the motive. The police chief might want to start with the court records from the divorce.

Also the weapons: how did a criminal gain access to firearms?

Then I suggest family and friends personally visit the prosecutors who might want to remove the cob webs from beneath their desk and investigate how a dangerous sexual predator and felon on house arrest threatening to kill his soon to be ex-wife had access to weapons? And why was he not placed on a monitoring device?

In 2008, he plead guilty on a sexual case involving a 15- year old girl and only received 12 days in jail, and was placed on three years probation and classified a Tier II sex offender, which required him to register his address with authorities every 180 days for 25 years. Where the heck was his probation officer on vacation?


When the prosecutor obtains those answers perhaps they can see precisely how the legal system failed Brandy Schneider and implement a protocol within the domestic relations courthouse so others can have a fighting opportunity to remain alive. Then the family should, in my opinion. hire an attorney as they probably have an excellent case for a wrongful death lawsuit.

Divorce is often connected to repeated threats, stalking, harassment and yes, murder. A victim of abuse whether it be a man or a woman faces obstacles in the courts when judge’s fail to take accusations of threats seriously. This case is a classic example.

My least favorite example is when the courts reward the abusive parent, by granting access to not only the children, but, the victim. An abuser could care less about the kids often using them as a point of negotiation to either torment their victim further or stop the divorce procedings all together and return as a family under the same roof. Once the abuser has lost control they will play whatever hand is dealt them in order to win at any and all costs.

This is no longer an isolated war . The more law enforcement and the legal system ignore issues of abuse within cases of divorce expect a higher number of murdered children, mothers and fathers to increase in the years ahead.

Merry Christmas

I wish you and your family a joyous and safe holiday.

Celebrating the Holidays Without Controversy

According to Dr. Paul Irwin " as we read stories of controversy regarding displays of Nativity scenes and Christmas trees such as the controversy through the years over the airing of the trailer for "Nativity" at the Christkindlmarket in Chicago. As one who has studied the Bible for many years, I find this debate troubling. The American Bible Society believes that we must celebrate the rights of Americans to hold diverse opinions and not to stifle them."

Over the course of a year, we each celebrate historical observations, only some of which have any real religious associations. Some visit renaissance fairs, and others participate in highland games, while a few suit up and reenact Civil War battles. Why, then, are Nativity scenes regarded as objectionable? Why is the appearance of a menorah deemed inappropriate?

Nativity scenes depict Jesus' birth as described in the Bible. The Bible is rife with messages and stories of tolerance, which even most avowed atheists concede to be the case.

Regardless of affiliation or spiritual beliefs, the Bible is among our most treasured historical texts. To that end, the birth of Jesus Christ is a significant historical event. American values and biblical beliefs are closely aligned and not something that is foreign to our culture. We have to welcome the diversity of views that different faith traditions bring to America.

I believe that it is always better for us to listen, talk and reason rather than use inflammatory rhetoric in instances where overt displays of religious significance become a public issue. If it means thinking through the value of such displays and taking the time to be reasonable about inclusion rather than exclusion, then let us reason together.

In addition to making a Nativity Scene – which provides hope and inspiration to millions of people – a political "hot potato," we have become afraid to wish people Merry Christmas, replacing it instead with the generic and politically-correct "Happy Holidays."

Christmas commemorates the birth of Jesus. Hanukkah celebrates the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple by a Festival of Lights.

While some people do not celebrate Christmas, it is wrong to think that collectively Americans have found it offensive to wish people a Merry Christmas. I firmly believe that "Merry Christmas" should be seen for what it is: A wish for happiness on the anniversary of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And it's a pleasant way to greet someone in December, too.

A Letter To Sean

On November 28th, 2009, Karen Kahler and her daughters Emily and Lauren were shot to death by Karen's estranged husband while they were visiting her grandmother, Dorothy, for the Thanksgiving holiday. Dorothy was also shot and died a few days later.

Sean, a 10-year old son, escaped while bullets were being fired upon his family by his father inside the house, running for his life and surviving this horrific tragedy, phyically unharmed.

[As a violence expert and veteran to surviving family homicide, I was moved to write this young man a letter. Although I am using Sean's name it could have been Craig, Jennifer, Alice, Tom, Christopher, Bobby, Kathy, Lisa, Andrew, Laci, Conner, Cheryl with a list that goes on and on of children left to find their place in this world without those whom they love and, more importantly without answers.]

Dear Sean:

This is your first holiday without your sisters, grand grandmother and mother. The events that lead up to their deaths will for a very long time play out over and over in your mind as if you are watching a scary movie. You will have terrible nightmares, cold sweats, and be woken by a soft tender voice comforting you, suggesting "you to go back to sleep, it's okay. It was only a dream." But, you find going back to sleep difficult. Instead you may cry or get angry. And that is okay.

While you are awake, during the day, something will remind you of the tragedy. A dog barking outside, a silly commericial on television or simply the closing of a bedroom door. It doesn't take much really to remind you of what happend. And in the months to follow you will probably wonder when will you stop feeling so horrible. When will the pain go away? Some days will be better than others. And sometimes the pain you feel will be with you as if it were your worst enemy. You can't tell it to go away. You are not able to run from it. It will be your companion for many months.


After Christmas and New Year's it will be time for you to go back to school. At first you will have the feeling of your body being in a kind of thick fog. And your feet will not feel as if they are touching the ground as you walk. I suggest a relative sew in marbles or a few coins in the cuff's of your pants. This will help you feel like you are weighted down in some way. At the start of your first day back you might notice mom's driving or walking their kids to school. This will make you miss your mom all the more. You might be overwhelmed by this and ask the person who took you to school to bring you back to the house. You are not ready yet. This is a normal feeling.

Once you start feeling a little better and return to school try and get involved in a sport that you enjoy. Try to make friends with other kids in your class. And if you are invited to do something after school over on the weekend, accept the invitation only when you feel ready. Sometimes adults make us feel like we have to try or do something we do not feel ready or comfortable doing. Use your best judgement in each situation.


Maybe start your own private journal. Include the times you shared together with your Mom. The trips you took or how she made a special meal you enjoyed. On holidays make your mom a special card and place it in the journal. When your mom's birthday approaches do something special that she might have enjoyed sharing with you. If she had a favorite saying remember to write it down so you will always remember her words. Keep special photo's in the journal or on a disk. If your mom's voice is on her cell phone or the house phone on a recording ask a relative to make a few copies for you so you can hear her voice when you are feeling sad.

The most important piece of advice I can offer you is that you are stronger than you may believe. When you have bad days remember that your mother, although she is in heaven, lives in your heart. And even though you are not able to see or touch her in human form, she walks beside you proudly, from the moment you awake, until the time you rest your head at night.

The love of your Mom will remain with you, Sean, every single precious moment as you grow and build your own life, finish school and someday have a family of your own.

Bring Them Home

If you were to ask a dozen strangers on what they want for Christmas the response for each person would be different.

But, if you ask a family devastated by the murder of a loved one where a case has gone cold and the family continues searching for the remains of their loved one, you would receive identical responses. PLEASE help us locate the remains of our loved one so we can give them a proper burial. That is all these 2 families are asking for Christmas.


For the former police officers wives like Theresa Parker, who disappeared in Georgia on 3/25/2007, the family would reply "bring Theresa home".


For the family of Stacy Peterson, loving mother, who disappeared on 10/28/2007, and the wife of Former Police officer Drew Peterson, her family and children only ask "to bring Stacy Peterson home'.


The lights in both families homes are burning brightly, twenty-four hours a day in hopes that their Christmas Prayers are answered and these two women are finally found.

"Suddenly"

This holiday season while we are enjoying our precious time with friends and family, and counting our blessings, there is one home where Mom won't be fixing Christmas dinner or tucking her children in as she reads to them the story "twas night before christmas" to her precious angels.



That woman was Lisa Stebic.

Lisa as many women who have "suddenly gone missing" was getting a divorce when she vanished. Craig Stebic,has yet to be charged in her disappearance, he was the last person to report seeing his wife April 30, 2007.

The missing woman worked her normal shift in a nearby elementary school cafeteria and was home when her children arrived from school. Craig Stebic has said he saw his wife leave the house carrying only her cell phone and purse. He reported her missing the next morning. Doesn't this have a familar tone? She left with her cell phone and purse?

Lisa Stebic would never have left without taking her children.

A mother, sister, aunt, neighbor, friend who belonged to a family that loves her. I am asking everyone to keep her in your prayers this holiday in hopes that she is found.

The family put together a remarkable video.

"It's very difficult knowing that she's out there somewhere but that we cannot put her to rest as we need to do." http://www.findlisastebic.com/

Tragedy in San Clemente: Who Was The Shooter?

Catherine Fontaine, 4 and Julia Fontaine, 2 (Courtesy John York)

As a follow up to my post yesterday about the tragedy in San Clemente, CA, I have received many private emails and comments with questions we are all asking.   News reports are now saying that both Elizabeth Fontaine and her mother, Bonnie Hoult had gunshot residue on their hands.  This leaves open many possibilities and one is that they were both "shooters."

Neighbors indicated some disturbing discussions taking place earlier in the day of the shooting, after a court hearing in which Elizabeth was ordered to return with her daughters to turn them over to her sister-in-law who was granted temporary custody.  We don't know, at this point, if the gun was present during ,or alluded to, in this conversation, however the discussions were disturbing enough for the other occupants of the home to leave in fear.

The gun was registered to Bonnie Hoult who possibly kept it in a local safe deposit box.

"I think it is too early to tell if Elizabeth was the shooter/murderer. The gun was registered to the grandmother. I think both women decided to do this, as evidenced by the owner of the home reporting disturbing discussions between the two of them just prior to the shootings."

 
Questions and comments left in the blog and by private email are alluding that Elizabeth Fontaine, the mother of two precious little girls had suffered much abuse during her life.

This tragedy leaves no doubt that it was carried out by a woman is boggling.  We, other women and mothers, can't wrap our minds around that fact.  Either one or both, Elizabeth Fontaine or Bonnie Hault, pulled the trigger that took the lives of two small children that they both loved.

"It has not been clearly defined who was the shooter in this matter. The investigation is still ongoing and it is premature to point at the mother, although it is more likely than not. Whoever it was that pulled the trigger only saw one door out of the situation. A very sad event to occur at any time of the year. My heart goes out to the family for such a tragic and unwarranted loss of life. "

Elizabeth Fontaine's accusations of child molestation against her husband were never proven in a court of law, and were dismissed in California.  After her daughter, Catherine, was examined by a new team of psychologists in Texas, she re-opened the custody case and renewed her allegations against her husband, Jason Fontaine.

As we try so hard to make sense of this we question many things.  As in other cases of family annihilation where the male is the killer, we have come to almost expect it, but it's hard for us to accept that a woman and mother can react in this deadly way and snuff out the lives of her offspring.

Abuse is abuse and no matter how and when it happens, there are and will always be repurcussions.  Each individual deals with abuse in distinct, unique ways and as some are able to move their lives forward, others are left with scars so deep that their reactions to stresses and triggers can be deadly.

Deadly Control: Exclusive Report!

Elizabeth Hoult Fontaine

Monday afternoon, in a California courtroom, a domestic relations judge in family court ordered the woman pictured above to return that afternoon to court with her daughters. Her custody was revoked and the children were ordered temporary sole legal and physical custody to a relative back in the State of Texas.
Although investigators are continuing to work this case, it appears clear Elizaberth Hoult Fountaine pulled the trigger that also took the life of her mother.

Found dead behind a front door decorated with a Christmas wreath, their bodies intertwined in the entryway of the home of a friend where they were staying, were Catherine Fontaine, 4, and Julia Fontaine, 2, and Fontaine’s mother, Bonnie Hoult, 67, a retired psychologist.

According to news accounts in L.A., an attorney for Howrey, LLP’s Irvine office [where she was employed], Elizabeth Fontaine filed for divorce last December. About a month ago she left Orange County and moved her daughters and mother to Houston, Tex.

In court documents, Elizabeth Fontaine, who was also a lawyer, made explosive accusations against her husband, claiming he had molested the girls and had an addiction to pornography.

A court psychologist interviewed Catherine 4, documents show, but didn’t see enough to find that molestation had occurred. There was a four-day hearing in August on whether Elizabeth acted in good faith in making the accusation. In the end, a court commissioner allowed the kids' father  unmonitored visits, even as he awarded primary custody to Elizabeth. The divorce was granted in October. Records indicate no charges were ever filed against the former husband.

The mother and kids, with the court's permission, were allowed to move out of state to Texas where she re-opened the case and took her daughter Catherine to be examined by a psychologist, and 3 other experts who reported finding evidence of molestation, according to the court documents.

Within two weeks, a Texas court ordered that the father of the children not have contact with his daughters. He accused his wife of court-shopping, and that is how she was ordered back to the court in California.

The bottom line, a mother murdered her children. The person with whom we first place our trust in as children.


I expect to receive some unique "fan" emails for bringing attention to this case and for what I am about to say:

This mother is no different then the men I highlight weekly on this blog for slaughtering members of their own family.

She was a lawyer and had an upper hand in a legal system that the majority of women who live in violent relationships going through family court deal with everyday. These mothers often pay the price themselves because their child disclosed sexual abuse to them, a therapist or the courts. And many abusers use custody as a means of power and control. It is these women who often find the cell door slam shut on them because they are protecting their children. These mothers, too many to count, deal with the same issues that Elizabeth Fountain faced.

They, too, are in contempt of court because they refused to comply with a court order and turn over the child to the abuser. Most women in the family court system do not have the funds to pay for a skilled lawyer to assist them in matters of divorce and custody.


It is these women whom I directly assist or tragically write about after a homicide. The difference is Elizabeth Hoult Fontaine had a choice. Instead, she murdered her mother and two helpless children who did not deserve to die.

Taking Care of Business?

Family homicide has claimed four more victims. Forget for a moment that 2 adults and 2 children's bodies were discovered in an "upscale gated community" in San Clemente, California, just hours ago.
Murder within the home is not a crime associated by the amount of zero's on a bank statement or whether its' victim live on Park Avenue or the lowest rent district in a community. We live in a country where murdering your wife, husband and kids and committing suicide is so common we barely blink an eye when we read or hear about such horrific crimes with our morning cup of coffee. And we can expect this epidemic to wipe out more lives before the New Year as husbands and yes, wives carry out their own personal form of justice and revenge.

The reason for the murders will vary depending on the each person's frame of mind. Some will have a relationship outside the home and feel that killing their spouse is the only way out, allowing them to be free of financial burdens, wiping the slate clean so they can begin anew. And those similar to the person in California who was so angry over the ending of the "family unit" they kill everyone and then turn the gun on themselves.
Just yesterday, Jason Young, after 3 years, was finally indicted in North Carolina for the murder of wife Michelle Young, who was pregnant at the time. Young, like so many who are finally charged, do not take their own life as they believe they will never "get caught."
[Michelle Young]

Over Thanksgiving after the couple had separated, Karen Kahler of Kansas moved she and her children out of the marital home to begin their lives without violence. But, her husband Kraig Kahler, like so many abusers wasn't having any of it, "who does she think she is, no one leaves me." On November 28th, 2009, Karen Kahler and her daughters Emily, Lauren and her grandmother were shot to death by her estranged husband while they were visiting a relative. the Thanksgiving holiday. He was arrested several hours later and has been charged with capital murder.

Another case unsolved to date is the murder of Michigan Mother of 3, Renee Pagel , found stabbed to death in her bed recovering from surgery, (after donating a kidney to a complete stranger) just days away from her divorce being finalized. According to close friends and relatives the grade school teacher and a registered nurse told others she was in "fear for her life." A week before her murder she changed the beneficiary of her life insurance policy from her estranged husband to a close family friend.

Her estranged husband, Michael Pagel, is the only person who has not voluntarily cooperated with police, nor has he provided an alibi to police for the night of Renee's murder. He retains custody of the couple's children.

Susan Powell mysteriously vanished last week leaving her purse and keys inside the home where she was last seen alive by her husband, Josh, at 12:30 in the morning. He suddenly decided to take his 2 small children on a camping trip. He is a person of interest and has now lawyered up as he faces questioning in her disappearance.

Other cases where wives have gone missing without explanation , Lisa Stebic disappeared in 2007, her husband Craig and she were in divorce court, has not been charged but is a person of interest. Former police officer Drew Peterson arrested for the murder of wife #3 Kathleen Savio, has yet to be charged with the homicide of Stacy Peterson, wife #4 whose body has not been found since she disappeared in October of 2007. Renee Pernice of Kansas vanished( divorce pending) in January of 2009 and her fire fighter husband Shon Pernice remains of person of interest.

The address are all different, the outcome is almost identical. Not one of these women would ever leave without their children. And they were each good women who did not deserve to be erased from life.

In a note written by my father after my mother was murdered, before his committing suicide, sums it up:

"This is business only, no one leaves me and gets away with it."

Not Your Average Camping Trip?

Susan's Powell's family [the young woman who went missing on December 7th] does not believe their son-in-law, Josh Powell, is capable of having anything to do with his wife's sudden disappearance. Her father has gone so far as to ask the public to stop pointing fingers at his son-in-law, saying "I don't see him capable of harming her."

In this case, as in the majority of situations where "suddenly" a wife and mother is gone, the person with whom the victim is in a relationship is always conveniently not around when the person has gone missing. Where else would a mother of 2 young sons go at 12:30 a.m. when she had to be at work the following day? It is also not unusual for friends or relatives to not know if there are marital problems, as is in this case.

If we look at case it begins with a disturbing red flag. Josh Powell on a work night has a light bulb moment and decides to go camping?


In the middle of the night Josh Powell takes the two children, ages 2 and 4, from their comfy warm beds on a camping trip in freezing conditions? What parent in their right mind does this?

Instead of asking him about the camping trip, both the children should be tested for alcohol and or drugs in their systems. It does not take much to give a young child something, enough to be out of it for the night, it could be as simple as Nyquil cold medicine, then wake up to find they [the boys] who, by the way, are barely able to form intelligent sentences, rise and shine to see daddy's happy face.

[Susan Powell, 28, West valley City, Utah]

The facts: Susan Powell has been missing for a week. She did not take her purse or cell phone.

A plea from a family member for her safe return HERE

Police are asking for the public's help. [Perhaps they should consider giving the make and model of Josh Powell's van -just in case he stopped for gas or someone saw the van pull off a road or parked near a river. Or maybe he and the kids ordered from a drive-thru window or had breakfast at McDonalds.]

Put A Tiger In Your Tank?

The news stories of Tiger Woods and the daily developments regarding his sexual behavior reported by the media do not appear to be slowing down. Even Nancy Grace is covering the story on her daily crime show. In fact, we can expect more women to surface claiming to have had a tiger in their personal tanks in the New Year.

Women, some paid, some not, were involved with the mega sports icon for long periods of time while currently married. His squeeky clean image, gone. Woods is now a popular skit segment on Saturday Night Live and he even made David Letterman's top ten list.

And a new facebook fan page titled, "I have slept with Tiger Woods" has also surfaced with over 36,000 members (of which I joined) and growing.

But what I do not understand is the urgency in which "these dozen or more women" are willing to "tell all" as they profess their love and "special relationship with Woods.

Most of those I have heard and seen in the media are attractive and should have no problem in the real world of dating someone other than a married man. Instead, similar to an epsiode

of the "Bachleor"these women are now standing in line with high heels waiting to be crowned the "next Ms. Tiger."

"Cold Case Continues Collecting Dust"

[pictured above Yolanda Bindics holding her child]


On August 10, 2004, Yolanda Bindics,25 left her job at the Family Dollar store in Jamestown, New York She called her brother, who was watching her 4 children around 8:20pm from her cell phone. When he tried to call her around 8:35 in the evening, there was no answer. That was the last day Yolanda was seen by family and friends.

Her abandoned car was found the next day down the street at the Arby's. In September 2004, her purse, keys, and other items washed up in a storm drain. Two years later, in September 2006, hunters found the remains of Yolanda Bindics in a remote, wooded area in the Town of Charlotte, Chautauqua County.


Investigators have confirmed the remains are Yolanda's, and that she was murdered, but they remain tight-lipped on exactly how she died. "We are feeling very fortunate that we did find the remains, regardless of where they were," said First Assistant District Attorney Tracey Brunecz, "and we are doing what we can with the information we have to further determine who did this to Ms. Bindics."

During the case, investigators have focused on three men, Darien Thomas and Clarence "Carl" Carte, both of whom had children with Yolanda. Authorities also questioned a former police officer by the name of Michael Watson, who reportedly had a relationship with Yolanda. Days after her disappearance, he was placed on paid leave and arrested on unrelated stalking charges against another woman. According to police, Carte had been seen at the Kwik Fill across the street from the Family Dollar store the very same night Yolanda disappeared.

Since the begining police have refused to comment on whether all three, or any of the men, remain persons of interest in this case.


The file of this case remains in a drawer collecting dust. Why aren't police trying to solve this murder? The family is asking for the public's help on this case. If you know something please call the number below. The information you provide is confidential.

There is a $20,000 reward offered by the FBI.

If you have any information regarding the Murder of Yolanda Bindics,
you're asked to contact:
Jamestown FBI at 716-484-7085 or the Jamestown Police at 483-TIPS
or Your Local Law Enforcement Agency.

As a point of interest according to the web site Yolanda's family has, Former Police Officer Michael Watson resigned from the Jamestown Police Department in May 2006, just days before a civil service hearing regarding alleged violations of department policy that stemmed from the stalking and harassment accusations.

Watson is suing the Jamestown Police Department and the city of Jamestown, alleging that investigators maliciously painted him as a suspect following Ms. Bindics’ disappearance.Police, on the other hand, blame the media and the public for reaching such conclusions about Watson, saying they only labeled him as a person of interest, the classification of which included everyone who knew Ms. Bindics and could shed some light on her disappearance.

A Mother Waits By The Phone

On the facebook page of Brittany Danielle McGlone you see a vibrant beautiful young woman (pictured above) ready for an exciting evening at her high school prom.

A stranger viewing the photos posted by members of her family proudly displayed from the first day she was brought home from the hospital to every year that followed, marking a journey through the awkward teen years and then in a blink of an eye, she was gone. Barely 19-years old, and brutally murdered in [Wood County] Winnsboro, Texas on May 4, 2007.

Brittany was bludgeoned to death in the home allegedly of her former boyfriend. You would think that police would already have the person responsible for her murder in custody. But, they do not.

Another holiday is arriving, there are no presents under the tree, no christmas decorations hanging, and with each passing year Brittany's mother's health is in decline. The lights that once burned so brightly in the McGlone home have all but burned out, with the exception of the light on the telephone.

This mother who night after sits by the phone waiting for it to ring, hoping and praying it is a

news reporter or a law enforcement officer informing her that an arrest has been made in her daughter's murder, a suspect is in custody. Sadly, Brittany's mother does hold out much hope that will happen when those in law enforcement have let the case go cold.

Brittany's mother has just one wish this year for Christmas, that someone, anyone with information on her daughter's murder step foward and contact the authorities.

That is her only wish.

If you have any information on this case please contact the Wood County Sheriff's Department, they can be reached at (903) 763-2201.

"A Moving Discovery"

Randy Bratschi vanished in 2004 and his remains were found on July 16, 2009 in a town named "Coward," located in South Carolina.

Often, we immediately think of men as the person responsible for killing their loved ones, but that is not always the case. Women also murder their husbands and children.

In Author Diane Fannings book "Poisoned Passion" she writes about Wendi Mae Davidson, a cold blooded killer who murdered former Air Force Staff Sergeant and husband Mike Severance in Texas. Randy Bratschi, a victim of family homicide lost his life, similar to Mike Severance each of these men, too embarrassed to discuss the abuse or know where to get help.

Brenda Bratschi [wife] was finally charged earlier this week with her husbands murder. The police indicate there will be additional arrests in this case. The stepson Frankie Miles, 23 arrested last evening has now been charged in connection with Randy Bratschi's death for with holding information.

According to news sources police say movers were transporting a trailer when they discovered the remains underneath the home. The remains were found on land that had recently been sold after Randy Bratschi went missing in 2004.


If you are a victim of violence and you are a man, please know that you are not alone. There is an organization on the Internet called Men Web who assist men in relationships with violent and dangerous abusers whom are wives and girlfriends.

Here are a few warning signs for you to consider

Do you have that "taking on a macho “I can handle it” attitude. Even if you have been hurt much worse on an athletic playing field, that is not the same thing as being physically attacked by your intimate partner, which hurts emotionally as well as physically. Allowing this pattern to continue can result in depression, substance abuse, loss of confidence, even suicide. (At its worst, It has resulted in death at the hands or a partner or someone induced to kill you by the partner.)

“Men Don’t Tell.” This is the actual title of a fact-based CBS TV movie about male victims of domestic abuse. Keeping silent, (not confiding to a friend, relative or professional) is a common reaction of both male and female victims of domestic abuse; it’s embarrassing. Men typically face a greater degree of disbelief and ridicule than do most women in this situation, which helps enforce the silence. Domestic violence victims make excuses for injuries that show (“It was an accident” or “it happened while playing sports”) when friends or medical personnel ask about them.

Hiding From it. Men often escape a bad home life that they are afraid of by spending extra time at work, staying in “their” space (garage, den) at home, or even sleeping in the car or at a friends place.

Again, I urge you to seek help. Please click and visit Men Web Organization on the Internet.

D-Day [Part Two]

[pictured Karen, Emily and Lauren Kahler]

The majority of women abused want to get away as far from their abuser as possible and begin their lives without the violence. Karen Kahler who was murdered along with her two children and her 89 year-old grandmother by her estranged husband, was no different.

Karen Kahler was a loving woman with strong ties to her children and the community. So much that friends and family have set a blog http://www.karenkahler.blogspot.com/ in memory of their friend and for the only child, a 10 year-old son whom survived the bloody massacre and needs assistance himself.


Nothing short of purchasing a weapon and signing up for lessons on how to take accurate aim to a target could have prevented these murders. Family homicide is an epidemic. It is a war. And if you are reading this, thinking "nope this can't happen to me" think again!

I have reported on so many stories of men murdering their families in the last few months, I have lost count. With over 20 years of hands on assistance directly to women and their children I wonder how many more murders it will take before the legal system wakes up and corrects a process within the courts that is allowing offenders in many situations to get away with the slaughter of innocent women and children.

An order of protection will do nothing in the prevention of a person whom is so enraged they will stop at anything to commit murder. Because you or a victim that is a family member or friend, perhaps a co-worker or church member has decided to end the relationship.

Take a moment and read yesterday's post on the murders of Karen and her family. If you are involved with someone who is abusive you need to realize you cannot fight this battle without taking the necessary steps prior to leaving, this means before announcing to this dangerous person, "It's over," or "that you are leaving" or "filing for divorce." You might as well kiss your life goodbye.

It is similar to setting off the detonation of a ticking bomb, with the abuser set to go off at any time. The abuser has a plan to harm you and or the children if you do not stay in the relationship. You must be taught the techniques that will get you safely out from under the abuser.

If you want information on how to do this please email me at contact@movingoutmovingon.com all emails are held in strict confidence. And remember, I too, am a casualty of family homicide. I may not have been able to save my mother, but, so many are alive today because she lost her life in this war.

D-Day

The control over where she went, what she did to how long she stayed out to run a quick errand was manageable for Karen Kahler no different from others whom love their husbands and work hard to make the marriage work. After the birth of their daughters Lauren and Emily the violence increased and her husband Kraig Kahler’s jealously over his wife’s daily routine was a nightly interrogation. And if he did not believe Karen, she paid the ultimate price and was beaten. A third child was born, Sean, a boy and Karen prayed her abusive husband would shift the good part of him, the man she fell in love with and be involved with her son.

Kraig Kahler's yearly salary was $150,000 as the former director of the Water & Light Department in Columbia, Mo., where he faced other charges. But, when city officials learned he was also terrorizing his wife and family it lead to his dismissal. Online court records show Kahler was scheduled for trial in Columbia this past Wednesday on a domestic assault charge that stemmed from an altercation with Karen in March of 2009.

Karen like so many women who are abused filed for divorce rented a house and she and her 3 children began their journey of freedom. Karen wanted her children to maintain a healthy relationship with their father, but, as many violent abusers do, they dismiss the female children and shower all their attention on the male child as in this case.

(Lauren, Emily and Karen)

After the family moved Kraig Kahler became more obsessed. Although he was never “caught in the act” he stalked her, slashed her tires, became obsessed with her on-line computer activities, but was never arrested. Even though she obtained a restraining order it would be no match against the rapid fire power of a weapon.

Karen Kahler and her daughters Emily and Lauren were shot to death by Karen's estranged husband while they were visiting her grandmother, Dorothy, for the Thanksgiving holiday. Dorothy was also shot and and died a few days later. Sean, Karen's 10 year old son, escaped from the house, called for help and was not harmed.

That evening 3 generations were erased within moments by a man that with his entire being believed he owned the ultimate power of when Karen, Emily, Lauren and Dorothy would take their last breath.

Twelve hours later Kraig Kahler was arrested and is being held on $10 million dollars bond. In the months to follow people will point blame or perhaps say he was severely depressed or he was not in his right mind at the time of the execution of his family. The fact is he was in his correct frame of mind all along. He is not insane and his motive was clear. The years of agony and expense this will cost the State of Kansas with motions, hearings, continuances trials, appeals, is not worth the life of this serial killer.

I say throw him on an island in some remote area of the world without access to another human sole. Afterall, he thought nothing of their lives!

Part 2 tomorrow

Wisconsin Killer: Manhunt for Tyrone Adair

This undated photo the Dane County, Wisconsin Sheriff's Department via the Wisconsin State Journal shows Tyrone Adair. Police believe the fatal shootings of a mother and her young daughter in Madison were connected to the slayings of another woman and young girl in a nearby suburb, and authorities were searching Friday for Adair in all four deaths. Police think he is driving a silver GMC Acadia, like the one shown above.

Tyrone Adair is considered armed and dangerous so if you think you have seen him contact authorities immediately. Although police say he has relatives and friends in the Madison Wisconsin area, in my opinion it is not likely he would remain in a big city.

Wisconsin is a state with many lakes and rivers. It is a popular hunting and ice fishing state. As this is a nationwide manhunt he could be anywhere. I am hoping game wardens and smaller communities within several hundred miles put up wanted posters of this man. With holidays people may not pay attention. You have homes around the rivers where neighborhood should watch for any unusual activitiy. Up near the Wisconsin Dells, the Rock River off the Interestate and I-90. Beloit is another area where he may go because it's closer to the Illinois border. Someone like this can also pose as a homeless man staying at shelters for a night or two and then move on someoplace else with ease. And trailer parks is another area he might be found roaming around.

According to the Wisconsin State Journal Prosecutors charged Adair, of suburban Middleton, on Friday with two counts of first-degree intentional homicide in the deaths of 33-year-old Tracy Judd and 23-month-old Deja Adair, Judd and Adair's daughter.

They also consider him a "person of interest" in the killings of 25-year-old Amber Weigel and 2-year-old Neveah Weigel-Adair, Weigel and Adair's daughter.

Court records on Wisconsin access indicate he has convictions for battery and bail jumping. A woman took out a restraining order on him in 2006, alleging he stalked her, slashed her tires and destroyed her computer, phone, television and bed. And he was in paternity cases with both Judd and Weigel over the kids.

Same old excuses for this killer that he was depressed, lost his job as if that justified committing the murders.

Please pass this information with his photo and car information on as many sites as possible. If you live in the State of Wisconsin email the information from the blog with the photo to your church, agencies serving the homeless, real estate rental companies, managers of trailer parks etc.

Have You Seen Marissa Ann Benson?

Earlier today I received a comment on yet another missing person case where a child is likely not receiving attention since she disappeared on October 7, 2009. It was as a result of my post yesterday on Jahmeshia Connor, age 12, whose body was found in an alley on Monday. "There is a girl missing right now in Aurora and I watched her parents put up a flyer at the dollar store in the ghetto. (I work about 3 blocks away and went there on lunch). I don't think she is getting much attention either. She is mexican."

I am hoping by posting the information on Marissa Ann Benson, someone will come forward with information that could help with this case. The parents are doing everything to find their child. Please take a moment and pass this information along in your community or on your websites.

Missing Date: Wednesday 07th October 2009
Missing From: Aurora Illinois
Missing Country: USA
Sex: Female
DOB: 01/Feb/1994
Age Now: 15
Specific Details:Hair: Brown/Black Eye Color: Brown
Height: 5'3" Weight: 160lbs
Race: White language: Unknown
Distinctive Marks: Her hair is dyed black

Centro Nacional para Menores Desaparecidos y Explotados (USA)

Ver el Cartel

El Caso lo maneja
http://www.missingkids.com/

CUALQUIERA QUE TENGA INFORMACION DEBE CONTACTAR
Centro Nacional para Menores Desaparecidos y Explotados (USA)
1-800-843-5678(USA) o 001-703-522-9320

Known Circumstances: Marissa was last seen on October 7, 2009.

ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION SHOULD CONTACT

Aurora Police Department (Illinois) 1-630-859-1700 or
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST)

Skin Color Played A Major Role in Murder Case?

There appears to be a lot of excuses from law enforcement as to why Jahmeshia Connor's abduction case was given little attention, unless you call stapling flyers on a board near the bathroom of CPD's favorite donut shop an active investigation.

Chicago police insist there is a an age limit of ten years old and younger. But I know for a fact if it was a politician’s child or someone well known in the community an all points bulletin would have been issued.

The missing child was over the age of 10 and with so many kids who go missing each year for authorities despite the fact this is not a child who would just “vanish” they did not issue the Amber alert or contact the media. Perhaps it was because she lived in a part of town where criminal activity is commonplace. The fact is that like so many other missing African American children Jahmeshia was born with the wrong color skin.

She did not stand a chance at survival because no one was looking for her.

Chicago Police did not appear to take the report of this missing child seriously, even after family members pleaded with them to look for the girl, insisting she was not a runaway. Now there is a killer at large waiting for his next victim.


Sadly, it is cost prohibitive to wait until a body of an africian american child is discovered 15 days later, dumped like trash. The only expense to the city was the coroner and his assistant, a couple officers who draped a few hundred feet of canary yellow crime tape and spent two hours on the crime scene, an hour henpecking out a report, and the gas it took to drive over to the alley. Oh wait, the body bag- that is an expense isn’t it?

"Alarming Discovery"

Fifteen days after Jahmeshia Connor, age 12 was reported missing, the police discovered her lifeless body in an alley.

Site's around the Internet sent out a bulletin for Jahmeshia as an "endangered runnaway " I wondered why there was no amber alert issued for this child. She was an excellent student, responsible in her actions and never got into trouble. The family realized Jahmeshia was missing when the following day when she did not return home from school. A relative thought she was staying over someplace else the night before. And no one seemed to take responsibility in checking on her destination or having her call home once she arrived to make sure she got there safely. Which in my opinion is a crime in and of itself. In this climate of predators and criminals parents must know where their kids are at all times, period.

Also why didn't Chicago police issue an amber alert for this child? If her body was found this morning it is likely that whom ever abducted her kept the girl alive for a period of time. An autopsy is scheduled for today to determine her cause of death.

The most attention this case received appears to be today, after the discovery of her body. Guidelines must be established for all children from all neighborhoods regardless of a family's economic status in the community. At schools, libraries and in faith based organizations when a child is missing from a community and they are aware, access to mainstream communication is limited, they too, should pitch in to spread the word.

Perhaps in Mayor Daley's new budget he could provide funds to faith based organizations in the community for awareness and safety training.