Monday, June 29, 2009

One By One 6 women Confront Serial Rapist


As prosecutors will tell you, it is rare when a serial rapist is finally brought to justice where victims are alive and able to come forward to witness justice.

One by one, in a Wisconsin courtroom, 6 women confronted the serial rapist, calling him an animal who should die in prison for attacking them.

"You are nothing but an evil bastard," one woman said.

"I am a different person because of this monster," a second woman said.

"Today is the day you become history. I am taking my life back, and you have lost yours,"
a third woman said.

"I constantly look in my rearview mirror to see if anyone is following me," a fourth woman said.
"All of us victims have to deal with this for the rest our lives," a fifth woman said.

"(He) is a self-centered, self-serving opportunistic criminal," the last woman said.

Michael R. Huber, 33, was sentenced in Rock County Court on Friday to 195 years in prison followed by 60 years extended supervision for six felony charges of first-degree sexual assault.

The courtroom erupted in applause after Huber was sentenced. People stood and hugged. Many cried. One woman shouted to Huber, "Rot in hell," and a man shouted, "Yeah."

Huber admitted to six home invasions and sometimes rapes from 1998 to 2005, but he was only charged in two of the cases, attorneys said. He was arrested in February 2008 after a 10-year investigation.
Each of the women spoke on how the attacks changed their lives.
Raped Aug. 3, 1998, when she was 26—said she hasn't been a patient mother, loving sister or good daughter since her rape. She suffers from constant fear, nightmares, anxiety and self-doubt. She added she has had problems with alcohol and prescription drugs. Its hard to trust people or God, she said, and counseling hasn't helped.

The second victim—raped July 9, 1999, when she was 23—said that night changed her forever.
Relationships seem out of reach, she said, and it's difficult to let anyone into her heart.
Fear is constant, she said. "I don't sleep sound," she said, fighting tears. "I wake in the middle of the night. I lock my bedroom door."

The third victim—attacked Oct. 14, 2000, when she was 33—said her then 7-year-old son saved her from getting raped. Her son called 911, causing Huber to flee, she said.
The boy remembers his mom and sister being in danger, she said, and he remembers making that phone call. "My son is my hero," the woman said. "I want the world to know how proud of him I was that day."

The fourth victim—attacked May 8, 2001, when she was 31—said the incident has made her stronger. "You have changed the course of my life in a matter of moments," she said. "But I want you to know you have not ruined me." The woman, who was not raped, told Huber he is "pathetic," "pitiful" and an "animal." "I hope your own reflection makes you sick," she said.
She asked the judge to lock him in prison for life. "You will never be able to lay your dirty hands on another woman as long as you live," she said. "You will be locked up like the animal you are."

The fifth victim—raped Aug. 20, 2003, when she was 13—said the victims have to deal with their attacks forever. The teen's mother, crying in the courtroom, said her daughter double checks the locks obsessively and remains afraid. She said her daughter is tough, smart and determined not to let her rape change her. She called raping a teen girl unforgivable.
"Michael Huber robbed her of her innocence," the woman said.

The sixth victim—attacked July 27, 2005 when she was 37—said Huber bragged about his crimes and eluding police while in her home. Huber didn't rape her, but he tormented her in a cat-and-mouse game of questions about her life, she said.
Huber appeared in court shackled around his wrists and ankles. He had a shaved head and trimmed beard. He wore an orange jail uniform. He was wearing his wedding ring.
He looked forward and down during most of the hearing.
Huber told the judge and victims he had selfish desires.

"Sex with beautiful women—not rape—was my only motive," he said. "Now I see my few minutes of pleasure has caused you a lifetime of pain."

Huber, his voice quivering, said sorry to his victims, sorry to the residents and sorry to his family, including his wife and young daughter. He said he prays for forgiveness. "My greed and stupidity has ruined lives," he said.

Huber quit committing the crimes in 2005 after getting married and having a daughter according to court documents.

Judge James Daley, while sentencing Huber, said he doesn't believe Huber stopped the rapes in 2005. He said many sexual assaults go unreported. "You, Mr. Huber, should be imprisoned at least as long as these victims are imprisoned," Daley said. "For them, it's a life sentence."

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Family Court and the Judicial Murder of Children's Lives


Yesterday, on the Susan Murphy Milano Show we highlighted mothers who have lost custody of their children because the court system in this country is ill equipped to properly deal with family issues involving the safe placement for custody of minor children.

Mental health experts prescribed in court by a judge on a “short list” mandated to determine the fitness of a parent and the well being of the children. What is often not determined is the safety of the child, especially when there are serious issues including sexual abuse, as we heard from Taylor’s mother a case in Virginia that wreaks of cover-up all in the name of winning a sick game called “Maternal Deprivation Abuse”. Imagine a legal system who determines financial matters and legal property disbursements using the same method on human lives under the age of 18 with total disregard for the safety and mental wellness of a child. A legal system taking on the burden of proof and yet throws it in the waste basket under their judicial bench. Sadly, with no regard for human lives and more importantly children unable to defend themselves from two evils the courts and their abuser parent as discussed in Lundy Bancroft latest book.

The switchboard was inundated with calls from across the country from mothers asking for solutions on behalf of the silenced, their own children. After the show the email box filled up quickly because we were unable to get to all the callers woith questions.

One particular note we received on face book happens to be in my neck of the woods in Will County, Illinois. The same county where the trial for Christopher Vaughn is yet to begin for the brutal slayings of Kimberly Ellen Vaughn, 34, and her three children, Abigayle Elizabeth Vaughn, 12; Cassandra Ellen Vaughn, 11; and Blake Philip Vaughn, 8; all of Oswego, were found in June of 2007, shot to death in an SUV in far Illinois southwest. "Neighbors and friends said they were a nice family and a quiet couple."

This of course it is also the same county Drew Peterson was finally arrested for the murder of Kathleen Savio and remains a suspect in the vanishing act of Stacy Peterson. And let us not forget that Lisa Stebic also from Will County going through a divorce has vanished and no one has been arrested. All of these women and in other cases across the country murdered because their abuser’s were not willing to split assets financially, pay child support or allow their wives to move on with their lives. These women fought and lost with their lives all in the name of a system that is like the storybook character humpty dumpty. It cannot be put back together again because it is broken.

The note said: "I know you are an advocate and maybe you can help - Right now in Will County Courthouse there is mother actually fighting for custody of her two little girls that have undergone sexual abuse. She has DNA evidence - Will County Sheriff's police refuse to send evidence over to the DA and she is being given run around. The DCFS case worker is friend of ex-husband's family and refuses to believe that there is anything going on - Basically they want her to recant and submit herself to intensive therapy which is unwarranted... based on her career, lifestyle and children's success from a previous marriage. The action is occurring in Room 300 in the Will County Courthouse- Many wonder how The Connelly children wound up dead... anyone watching in that courtroom can see how awful our family courts can be…."

On Wednesday, July 8, 2009 at 3:00 PM Central Time on The Susan Murphy Milano show will continue the discussion on Mothers losing Custody. Returning to the show are Co-Founder of Protective Mothers Alliance and the case of Taylor and her mother’s fight to regain custody of her daughter lost to a system that denies a mother her rights.

If you would like to email your questions before the show we will try to answer them on-air. The address is kindlivingpress01@gmail.com. Please include the state and city where you live as different laws apply.

We will be taking your calls live at 347-326-9337- Mark computer calendar for 7/8/2009-LIVE!

To listen to the show Mother's Without Custody"turn on the volume on your computer and it will automatically play.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Mother's Losing Custody on The Susan Murphy Milano Show


In April, 2009, over at Women In Crime Ink I wrote about Amy Leichtenberg who filed orders of protection against Michael Connolly more than once after his repeated physical and emotional abuse in the later years of their marriage. Amy filed for divorce that year and moved out of their home. In a 2006, a petition for a protective order against her husband was filed, saying that his "controlling and obsessive behavior" included threats to kill himself and others along with a series of bizarre demands he made of her. Within a 15-month period, Connolly violated the orders of protection 57 times. He killed both children Jack age 7 and Duncan age 9.

Another form of abuse is referred to as parental alienation, but it is “maternal deprivation abuse” that is when a father makes Mommy pay for wanting to leave the relationship. It also happens during divorce in family court. The abusive husband does everything in their power to make mom crazy, unfit, insane and convinces court appointed mediators, judges and mental health experts to give them custody. This goes beyond parental alienation and the children who grow up without their mothers in these cases grow up to a world of hurt, anger, pain and destruction. Or they wind up murdered by their parent.

It is an epidemic. The legal system is enabling an abuser to continue using money, manipulation and control all because his wife wanted away from her violent relationship or to simply end the marriage.

This form of abuse is also called “maternal deprivation abuse” that is when a father makes Mommy pay for wanting to leave the relationship. It also happens during divorce in family court. The abusive husband does everything in their power to make mom crazy, unfit, insane and convinces court appointed mediators, judges and mental health experts to give them custody. This goes beyond parental alienation and the children who grow up without their mothers in these cases grow up to a world of hurt, anger, pain and destruction.
On Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 3:00 PM Central Time on The Susan Murphy Milano show will discuss this important topic on Mothers losing Custody with the Co-Founder of Protective Mothers Alliance and the case of Taylor and her mother’s fight to regain custody of her daughter lost to a system that denies a mother her rights.

We will be taking your calls live at 347-326-9337.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Meal Ticket was the Verdict-Not Justice!


California laws regarding Domestic Violence are considered strict as opposed to other states. They should be quite complex and carry with them serious conviction penalties. Perhaps the State Legislators should amend the law to include the words “crimes committed by celebrities including sports players” shall be prosecuted.

When you are charged with two felony counts as Chris Brown --(somehow the other one magically vanished in court) -- it is imperative you enter the courtroom prepared with someone like Mark Geragos, a strong defense attorney.
It should not matter that these so called strong domestic violence and stalking laws were passed into legislation because women, mothers and girlfriends found themselves in an emergency room or on a slab tagged at the county morgue.

Yes all the fans can jump up and down screaming victory for their kroner making a deal with the districts attorney’s office by pleading guilty to only one count of felony assault and provided with a free get out of jail card. But this is not a game of monopoly it is real life. I am certain if this happened to a relative or family member you would not be cheering and likely demanding justice. But we still as a society do not see this type of violence between intimate relationships as a potentially deadly crime. Blood, gushing out of Rihanna’s mouth as Brown continued to punch her while in route to the Grammy awards her head held down below the steering wheel as he told her “I am going to beat the shit out of you when we get home” implying this was not the first time Brown solved his manly issues with a young woman half his size and strength with violence.

Chris Brown in court yesterday, head bowed with hands folded like a choir boy as he pleaded guilty looking all manly in his designer threads before the judge.

It was obvious Defense attorney Mark Geragos relationships with the system that included the Judge and District Attorney in Los Angeles showing the world he knows how to aggressively pursue alternative sentencing, for his famous, yet cowardly client.

We witnessed firsthand, a verdict from an industry that sets itself apart from the realities of relationship dynamics. Chris Brown sings for a lot of folk’s suppers and that "meal ticket" was the verdict, not justice!

Monday, June 22, 2009

"Maternal Deprivation Abuse" or Parental Snatching of Children


Mothers seeking to end their abusive relationship and file for divorce are meeting additional hurdles within the legal community when the courts refuse to hear or allow evidence of abuse. A recent example turned deadly, are the lives of Jack and Duncan whose father had serious psychiatric issues and yet a judge continued to allow visitation. When he was finally allowed to take the 2 boys on unsupervised visitation he killed them.

In other cases mothers just simply vanish similar to Stacy Peterson, Kelly Currin Morris, Lisa Stebic, Renee Pernice, Rachel Conger and others whose bodies will likely never be recovered all because they wanted out of their abusive marriage. These men to whom they married were not likely to split financial assets or allow their wives or “property” to go on living unless it was under their controlling environment. Instead the abuser's have moved on and if they have not been arrested for murder they have moved on with their lives demanding their children adjust without their mothers. Predators of the worst kind snatching their children away from the very person who brought them into this world.

Or, the women are murdered in cold blood like Renee Pagel, Ronda Reynolds, Crystal Brame, Linda Yancy, Barbara Vanaman, and thousands of others all because they wanted to end their marriage not their lives.

This form of abuse is also called “maternal deprivation abuse” that is when a father makes Mommy pay for wanting to leave the relationship. It also happens during divorce in family court. The abusive husband does everything in their power to make mom crazy, unfit, insane and convinces court appointed mediators, judges and mental health experts to give them custody. This goes beyond parental alienation and the children who grow up without their mothers in these cases grow up to a world of hurt, anger, pain and destruction.

On Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 3:00 PM Central Time on The Susan Murphy Milano show will discuss this important topic on Mothers losing Custody with the Co-Founder of Protective Mothers Alliance and the case of Taylor and her mother’s fight to regain custody of her daughter lost to a system that denies a mother her rights.

Friday, June 19, 2009

"Motive Equals Murder"


It is not difficult to see how many girlfriends, wives and mothers who have vanished or are murdered with the only possible suspect; the person with whom they were romantically attached. It does not take Dick Tracy or a rocket scientist to figure out where the trail of blood goes, cold or not, it is almost always points to person in their life. Or if it does not, it should.

Women living vibrant productive lives suddenly labeled in a crime file cabinet or drawer opened when a lead is followed up or a family member is calling into police headquarters for updates and possible answers.

There are few experts in the field of domestic violence perpetrated crimes. The reclutance to look at a husband or boyfriend as a suspect can depend on the size of the town, available manpower, the prosecutors office and investigative skills among other issues. There are so many unsolved murders I listed a few where the cartoon character of Dick Tracy lives as solving these cases are not a language the police headquarters in these towns appear to speak.

November 29, 1991 was the last time that Mary Jane Zich was seen alive. She and her daughter, Desiree, had just returned to their Toledo, Ohio home after visiting her parents for Thanksgiving. While on her visit, Mary Jane discussed the violence in her marriage to Tom Zich and told her parents that she was planning on divorcing him. According to reports to police given by Tom at the time, she received a phone call, left the house and didn't return, leaving 3 year- old Desiree behind.

Sandra Travis was living in a violent marriage when she disappeared July 31, 2005 from Mayfield, Kentucky, a rural area near the borders of Illinois and Tennessee. Sandra took a lot of punches over the years from her husband, Bobby Travis, probably another man who treated his wife as a piece of property, there to do his bidding, no caring for the way she felt. Someone needs to look under the trailer where she disappeared from that evening. Maybe the Illinois State police can over ride the prosecutor who does not have much experience in obtaining a search warrant.

Renee Pagel was killed on August 5, 2006. She was a grade school teacher and a registered nurse. According to friends, Renee feared for her safety from her estranged husband. As many women say when they are married to an abusive spouse "if something happens to me, make sure people know it was not an accident." And yet in Mayberry police have yet to arrest Michael Pagel. This is shear ignorance on the part of the investigators.

On August 19, 2007, it's reported that Liza Murphy just up and walked out of her home after an argument with her husband, Joe Murphy, leaving behind her cell phone, cigarettes, all forms of identification, and most importantly, her three children, now 15, 13, and 10.
Liza Murphy and her husband were having marital problems, her family said. Stellatos described Joe Murphy as possessive of his wife, never allowing her to go out with her friends. She said he was even jealous if she spent time with her parents.

In October of 2008, Kellisue's Ackernecht’s case isn't very different from several other missing mother's cases, filled with frustration and brick walls. Other similarities include investigating the husband, but in this case local Johnstown law enforcement has stated that Jayson Ackernecht is not a person of interest nor a suspect in Kellisue's disappearance. In fact, Jayson has told reporters the same thing Drew Peterson claims, that she ran off with another man, and like Drew Peterson, it seems Jayson is taking steps to move on with his life. Again, after reviewing documents and speaking to family members this is a cookie cutter case that needs to be solved.


Sometime's it can take years, but a family even without locating the remains of their loved one finds partial closure when an arrest is finally made in a case. Yesterday, for the family of Tracey Tetso they were given a great gift when the missing woman's husband Dennis Testo was indicted and arrested for her murder. On March 6, 2005, married 5 short months,Tracey disappeared from her Rosedale home in Baltimore.

Once case out of thousand's where a family is themselves alive to participate in justice. Let us hope everyone else who is waiting for that unexpected phone call on that an arrest will be made or the reamins of their loved ones's happens within their lifetime.

Afterall, while these women's lives did not mean anything to the person they were with, they did have great importance to many others whose faces you do not see or voices you do not hear because they are too busy searching and doing what they can to bring their daughter's home.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Norberto Rodriguez Armed and Dangerous?


Two weeks have passed since Irma Rodriguez was found shot gang land style stuffed in the trunk of her car.

No press conference by the Oak Forest Police. No release of Norberto Rodriguez's photo. No talk of a reward. Not one word of where this former Chicago Police officer could be living after he murdered his wife.
On June 9th, family members in fear for their lives filed a court order of protection in Will County, Illinois in case Rodriguez suddenly appears. Perhaps the family can meet with law enforcement and have the case information posted on America's wanted with his description and photo.

A man takes a life paralyzing not only a family, but a community. It is likely Norberto Rodriguez is also armed and dangerous. Where is the outrage?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Breaking Secrets and Surviving


Why do live remain in relationships with people who are toxic? Who make us sick? Who manipulate and wreak havoc on the live's of our children and us?

Grab a cup coffee and join in on the conversation today June 17, 2009 on the Susan Murphy Milano show at 3:00 p.m. central standard time.
Call in number with comments or questiions is 347-326-9337

Are you looking for a domestic violence support group? Consider joining at the link HERE.

If you miss the show it plays automatically on this site, all you need to do is turn up your computer volume. Or download it into a podcast and listen at your leisure.

Magic Jeannie Is Not an Option for Domestic Violence Victims


Jeanie White from Springville, Utah was found dead in a murder-suicide. Apparently the live-in couple had a history of domestic violence. What disturbs me is the fact that police are quick to point fingers at the dead woman. “Not only did she refuse help from a victim advocate, but also would not cooperate in prosecuting the suspect. “ Then in the next sentence it said “there is evidence the victim was trying to leave.”

She did not pull the trigger of the gun, he did. Furthermore, when these types of crimes reach the newspapers why isn’t there discussion on the dangers of leaving an abusive relationship? It is important to note that perhaps Jeanie White was uncertain as to what the offender would do to her once released from jail so at the time of a prior arrest she opted to live a little longer and refuse assistance at that time from a victim advocate. Pressing charges is not always the best option for a woman. She knows her offender and authories are at a disadvantage, they do not. And these cases are not as simple as they may appear.

Law Enforcement and Prosecutors are under the impression that arresting the offender is like a magic Jeannie popping out of a bottle after a crime between 2 people in a relationship that is some kind of “get out of dodge ticket to freedom for the victim.”

So while the authorities are quick to react and blame the victim they should look into directing their energies into implementing strategies that would go a long way into preventing another crime scene.

Effective methods and stratgies in keeping victims alive is what I do. Perhaps the Prosecutors in Springville, Utah can contact me and we can implement life saving initiatives. My email address is : Contact@murphymilano@gmail.com

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Justice Interrupted Investigates "The Rape of a Child"

Tonight on Justice Interrupted at 10:00 PM Central Time a very special woman shares her story of silence within her own home. And the demons that remain her contstant companion.

"My name is Tivona. I’m not a famous author, model, or actor. I’m not Super Girl trying to save the world or a Super Villain trying to destroy it. I’m not anyone special except to my family. I’m just an ordinary, fun loving, moody teenager. I’m just trying to grow up and live an average life like everyone else. I’m 14 and looking forward to high school.

Yet, there are days that I wake up and feel like I can’t relate to anyone else in the world. I want to be a ghost and disappear…There are days I wish I weren’t here. During the day, I maintain A’s in school, I sing, draw in my journal, hang out online with my friends, play the saxophone, am an avid hunter and am a half back on my soccer team. Yet at night, when I crawl into my warm bed – surrounded by my soft blankets, my cats and more stuffed animals than you can count, I feel so alone. So isolated. Like no one else in the world knows how I’m feeling. It’s at this time, that I have to deal with my own private monsters and demons.


In the dark, I feel like no one could understand me. I’m not worried about the typical teenage stuff because my life over the last 4 years hasn’t been really ordinary. It’s been conventional on the outside while pain and guilt raged on the inside. Quietly, I’ve suffered. How could I tell anyone that I was a victim of sexual assault? Who could I tell and who would believe me?
As the daughter of someone in law enforcement and the niece of an attorney, I have always been told, and led to believe, that if you do something wrong – you are punished. There are consequences for your behavior. Today, as I write you my story of sexual abuse at the hands of a loved one, my abuser is free to roam the streets of our town because the Prosecuting Attorney refuses to follow up on my claims of abuse. I know it is hard to listen to these accusations. I know it is hard to comprehend that “this” person can do “these” things but there is a “silent epidemic” occurring in this country and it is harming those of us you have “sworn” to protect! Please take a minute to listen to our “cries for help”. They are not false or “made up”. They are very real. In some of our lives, there are truly monsters who hide “under our beds” and “in our closets” at night just waiting for the darkness so they can “attack”. We rely on you to help and we need you NOW more than ever!

I truly believe that society has the resources to put an end to this epidemic. At the very least, we can drastically reduce it. Why don’t we? Are we too afraid it can happen in our own homes and that’s scarier to acknowledge than believing it is the “horrible monster we see on Law and Order” that is causing this destruction? Perhaps you misread the statistics?
Talking about sexual abuse of children is crossing into frightening, unfamiliar territory for many people. We live in a very confusing society with hypocritical views on sex and sexuality. We are uncomfortable talking about sex, but we are willing to have it sold to us through songs, magazines, TV and advertisements.

I know that healing is a process, a journey. I know I will never forget the assaults and abuse but I hope to grow from this experience and I want to help others “escape” and grow too. PLEASE JOIN ME AND USE YOUR VOICE TO HELP STOP THIS CYCLE OF VIOLENCE IN OUR COUNTRY.

Child sexual assault is the world’s deepest, darkest, best kept secret. How many are out there, I guess we will truly never know. I am asking, pleading with you to take a stand. Remind all those who choose to seek out the children, that their behavior will not be tolerated no matter who they are. I believe I did the right thing by finally “telling”. I truly hope that my openness can save other children. I told the police. I was open and honest, even though it was extremely embarrassing to retell my story to one stranger after another. I believed in the process of the justice system. All I am asking is that the justice system “believes in me too!”

Here’s my story, it began in 1994:
People talk about “Princesses”. Royalty really isn’t my thing – I enjoy the “supernatural” – vampires really. Nevertheless, for years, I was truly a “Princess” in my family. The “first born” for both sides of extended family, I entered this world in grand fashion (an emergency C-section because I had stopped breathing). For my loved ones, I truly was a miracle and blessing. I grew and thrived from the attention and you can truly say “I was rotten”. So many camera flashes have gone off in my face over the years it’s amazing I am not blind. As an avid hunter, my grandfather had me appreciating nature as soon as I could walk and follow in his footsteps. Even my name, Tivona, means a “love for the outdoors. This man was my “hero”.
My perfect, innocent “happily-ever-after-fairytale-princess” life and childhood began to crumble and ended when I was 10. That was the year my grandfather died. That was the year that my whole world began to shatter into small pieces and fall apart around me. It was at that time, my uncle would also begin to “groom” me for his own sexual pleasures and means of “control”. It began with slow rubs and touches and progressed from there.


During this time, my uncle gradually eroded our appropriate adult / child boundaries, built a wall of secrecy around us and finally established compliance through my fear. Over the next 3 years, I was repeatedly reminded that this was “our little secret” and I mustn’t say a thing. He told me that I would be to blame if anyone discovered our secret little game. He repeatedly told me that: “This would really hurt my mom if she knew” and that he would go to jail if I told. Each time he said that, a part of me died. I betrayed what I knew was the “right thing to do” because I was afraid “no one would believe me” and because I didn’t want my close knit family to fall apart. It just seemed easier to close my eyes, retreat to the darkness in my head and “go along” than upset anyone. My life became a fraud and a fiction. Do you know how much energy is consumed to keep a secret hidden from ourselves and our families?


As a family member, he had seduced us all. He had our devotion and love. He was trustworthy and “above reproach”. His popularity within our family covered behaviors that should never have been tolerated. He was a trusted friend and relative; a pillar of the community. He would never do anything “shady” or inappropriate. That is what he hoped everyone would believe if I ever told our “secret”.
By creating an untarnished image, he has convinced my beloved aunt and his children that he is innocent and that I am lying and trying to destroy his pristine image in our lives and our community. He has ‘explained away’ most of his actions with excuses. When approached with his inappropriate behaviors, he responded by being insulted and became extremely defensive. Although never acknowledging the abuse, he never once denied it either. His response to the police, and I quote, “if that’s what she said happened, then it must have happened…I just don’t remember”.


During my short time in therapy, I have learned that pedophiles are like any other predator. They stalk and hunt children as their prey. Many predators, like mine, will spend weeks, months, and even years grooming their victims. They are calculating, manipulative, and very, very patient when it comes to achieving their goal. Molesters are charming. They get along with everyone and are usually popular. They can be upstanding members of the community and tend to present a perfect image. Like my uncle, they are “great guys” and “everybody’s friend”. They are charming and intimidate other adults into believing they are above reproach. Their behavior is a controlled public image – for I know all too well about their private behaviors. My counselor says she has never met a “child molester she didn’t like.


Today, I wonder if he is capable of feeling, let alone harbors a conscience. And did he, in all those years of wonderful memories, ever really love me? Is he sorry for the destruction he has caused in all of our lives, even though he refuses to admit it? I'd like to know WHY? Why did he chose to cross the line?"

Join Hosts: Robin Sax Prosecutor and Author, Author Stacy Dittrich, Violence Expert and Author Susan Murphy-Milano as they provide justice for those whose lives have been interrupted by rape, murder, child sexual predators, strange and unexplained disappearances.........To listen live go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/justiceinterrupted and click on the "Click To Listen" icon.You might want to refresh your page because the icon will not show until the show starts.Call in live at: 914-338-0663 to participate in the show.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Disabling Secrets Empowers Our Truth



I was in the early stages of my pregnancy when in my childhood home discovered my mother dead on the kitchen floor from a single gunshot to the head. My father dead in the bedroom a self-inflicted bullet to his forehead. I was unable to move past the recording in my mind “if only I had returned an hour earlier, I could have saved her.”

With my new marriage already in trouble prior to the tragedy I had already secured the services of a divorce lawyer. The person to whom I married was among other issues writing bad checks all over town, including the restaurant where we had our wedding reception. The owners were friends of mine and did not press charges in the matter for several months. After the funeral, I decided God must have had some reason to spare my life as documentation would show my father had planned on taking my life with my mother’s that night.

I took the traumatic experience as a sign from God and decided my baby needed a father and to give the relationship another chance. The pregnancy and subsequent delivery of my baby saved my life. I had a reason to live, to look forward to each new day. The marriage however was no picnic. My child’s father had a recreational drug habit, often disappearing for days without a word. When he was home “hide and go seek” was a favorite mental exercise along with " you remember" or "forge that signature" were a few of his favorites. As an example money and valuables would vanish. When I would ask about these items my child’s father’s replied “I must be losing it” or he would use my parents deaths and then question me as if I were imagining things.

I did not realize it then, but I do now. I allowed the familiar fear and repetitive criticism of my abusive father from the ashes of the earth to play a major role in my adult life. I did not know how to change the messages on my victim tape, etched in my spirit from the moment I came out of the birth canal.

Maintaining the Teflon imagine in public was easy as long as I did not discuss my married life, including the court and custody battle. I could count on one hand how many people even knew I had a child after the divorce. Keeping women and children safe became a twenty-four hour, seven days a week job. It did not lessen the pain of my child being gone, it just kept my mind occupied.

As I forged ahead trying to fight the legal system for my son, I knew it was lost before it began. The tactics used by my child’s father were stronger than me. In 2005, when I released my second book the father of my child sent letters with court documents via fax to people in the media and places where I was scheduled at stores for book signings. The words he wrote and sent are not worth reprinting. His actions spoke volumes as to his level of pure anger over any accomplishment that excluded him. Winning full custody of my child was not enough, he wanted me to continue to fear the hold he once had over me. This stunt one of several was done in an effort to discredit me and affect my livelihood.

Now as I am about to release two new books, once again, my child’s father sneaks in illegally and without my knowledge submits forged documents to have the case file from 1993 re-opened. The sealed court documents are now open to the public as I discussed in Fridays post.

By disabling secrets we release in us the power to move forward and create positive change.
In 1996, in a dedication to my child in my first book “Defending Our lives” I wrote: “And finally, to my precious gift of love and joy, my child. It is for you that I have written this book. It is my hope that someday you understand that I wanted the world to be a better place.”
For all eternity, a mother’s love always lives in their child’s heart. And that is something no one can ever take away!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Susan Murphy Milano: Breaking My Own Chains of Fear


Suddenly, the divorce was being contested. The son’s father had a new expensive attorney representing him. She wondered how he could afford a four hundred dollar an hour attorney from the largest law firm in town.The woman was summoned to court on an emergency order filed by her husband’s lawyer. She could not figure out for the life of her what was happening. In court, both of their lawyers filed their appearances on behalf of their clients.

Immediately, the judge ordered the case sealed. The court determined she was a public figure, and it would not be in her child’s best interest if people had access to their personal information. The judge without a hearing granted the removal and temporary custody of her son to his father. The mother was devastated as any parent male or female when their own flesh and blood is ripped from their hearts.

They left out the courtroom, the woman asked to speak with her son’s father for a moment.“Why are you doing this? We had an agreement.” He smiled. “Had, meaning past tense.

We no longer have an agreement. All I am going to tell you is watch your back. You have pissed off a lot of people in this town who want to see you go down.” He excused himself and left.
Later that day, the woman met privately with someone from city government, hoping they would be able to provide answers to her questions.

“You have not only embarrassed the city, you cost them a tremendous amount of money in assisting families by filing wrongful deathlawsuits on their behalf.” “What are you talking about, she asked?” “You heard me,” said the city official.“Who is behind this?” she demanded to know.“I am not at liberty to disclose details. I will tell you that you better re-think how you are assisting your clients. Make sure you have release forms indicating you are an advocate, not a lawyer and signed by every single client. "Cause lady they ain’t finished with you yet." Lay low for awhile. I would not do any media interviews if I were you. Tighten your seat belt, you are in for a bumpy ride” The woman thanked him for his time and left. The woman’s divorce had turned into another war.

She had no strength left to fight this battle. Her son, like so many man and women who lose custody of their children as another way to manipulate and control their victims was now a casualty of the cruel and common tactics often used in divorce as one parent attempts to send the other out for slaughter. This experience was similar to what the woman witnessed while helping others to whom she had provided assistance, watching while abusers continued to victimize women and their children, as they were ending the relationship with the person. As with all battered women her emotional mental stability became a major issue before the judge in court, due to accusations from the son’s father, citing that she had grown up in a violent household and how her father had killed her mother in 1989. Yes, the woman I speak of is me.

“She’s crazy!” the lawyer said during the next status hearing in court, using newspaper articles about me advocating for other victims and my parents’ death certificates to make his irrelevant point. He waived them like a flag in front of the judge. Proving his ignorance of victimology he exclaimed “your Honor, we ask the court to consider the public life lived and led by the plaintiff.
She speaks, lives and breathes her parents’ tragedy. At this time we feel it is in the best interest of the minor child and his safety to ask that continued temporary custody be awarded to my client, the child’s father, until such time as Ms. Murphy-Milano can be seen by a psychiatrist to determine her fitness as a parent. Additionally, we have filed a motion with the court ordering a mental health evaluation.”

In disbelief my lawyer said “Your honor, I object. The only harm being done to the minor child is this child's father denying access to his mother. If council is so insistent on a mental health assessment, then I respectfully ask the court for an evaluation on Mr. Milano,” responded my lawyer. I sat at the table with my attorney, stunned by the lies from my son’s father. My attorney objected to the motion, saying there was no basis for the allegations the other side was presenting. “Conveniently taking what my client does to help others is not a valid reason to deny visitation or remove custody. Your Honor, the respondent has manufactured lies, there is no proof to back up these outrageous allegations,”said my attorney.“It’s best for the child that we err on the side of caution,” responded the judge. The judge ruled that both my son’s father and I schedule mental health evaluations with a person chosen by the courts. In the meantime, no decision would be made as to when I would be allowed to have visitation with my son. The judge wanted to wait until after the mandated evaluations.

I knew this process could take months. It was clear my son’s father was angry with me for ending the marriage, and he was going to use my son to teach me a painful lesson. Denying access to my son was devastating. Now I was in the same boat without oars to row, like many other women to whom I had provided assistance. More importantly, my son was a helpless pawn in his father’s sick game. With the tables reversed, I was alone. I had similar feelings when my mother died. My son had been ripped away from me. I knew where all of this was headed and I wanted no part of it. I was unable to fight both the legal system and now my son’s father.

Whoever was behind this master plan wanted me out of the way. The words my son’s father used in court were like daggers thrown at perfect aim, straight at my heart. Because the court records to my divorce had been sealed, any hope of regaining visitation or custody of my son was sealed as well. The powers that be knew the media would have no access to the divorce case file. And would likely not investigate what was happening in the divorce proceeding because the proceedings and records were closed off to the public.The legal system and the political machine were punishing me for refusing to play ball. The divorce was final with custody issues in reserve to be revisited at a later date.
Suddenly, I did not feel worthy as a mother. I questioned my faith in the legal system and in God.

People use fear to silence other people. For nearly 20 years that tactic has worked on me, until now. Pandora's box has been opened and without my knowledge. The 1993, seal on my divorce lifted and the contents now open to the public for which I have provided a link HERE for anyone interested. (Case Information Cook County, Illinois, Summary for Case Number 1993D012470)

I only learned the file was unsealed after receiving a phone call from a person from another State where I resided from 2000-2006. My son's father was well aware that I moved back to Illinois. And I have documentation of our correspondence from my son's father at my Cook County, Illinois, mailing address. Once again he has used a back handed method to have a legal case proceed without my knowledge. I was not legally or properly served. It also shows on the court docket computer screen that I "participated" in a few hearings which makes me wonder if my former husband had a woman in court pretending to be me?

Fear should have died with my father. Instead the power of the secrets that have held my heart in chains die as I press this send button, now.

Stay tuned to part two of this series "Disabling Secrets Empowers Our Truth" Monday, June 15, 2009.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Children's Lives After a Homicide


The topic of children forced to continue with a "normal" productive life after living with years of abuse, resulting in murder, is not a subject covered by the media. We often forget about the kids left behind. On June 10, 2009 at 3:00PM Central time, on The Susan Murphy Milano show, Pam Munson and I will discuss the topic of children whose fathers have killed their mothers. It is an important subject: as the lives of the children witnessing violence and terror in their homes, if they survive, live the remainder of their days on earth often in darkness and without hope.

To read about Pam Munson, head on over to Women and Crime Ink.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Controlling Damage on Murder Cases


Stacy Peterson, Kathleen Savio and Lisa Stebic all lived in Will County, Illinois. Each of these women expected the law enforcement community and the legal system to provide justice against their manipulative, controlling and abusive husbands.

In particular, Kathleen Savio was a real life example of what happens as one woman attempts to get the system to listen to their cries for help, especially when married to someone in law enforcement. The public only learned after an interview with Kathleen's sister of all the letters and documentation when Steph Watts and Mark Furhman spoke with Savio's family. Afterwards, police took the documents from the reporters in an effort to minimize and do damage control.
With so many of these women being murdered by their boyfriends and spouses the public continues to not understand why these women remain or why justice is often denied.
Tonight on Justice Interrupted Investigates we will have a police officers wife on the show from Will County, Illinois. A case that mirror's Kathleen's Savio's. In an attempt to keep this woman alive, her real name cannot be used. But, the names of the judges and lawyers who have basically refused to do their jobs as if they have already affiixed their hand to her impending death certificate will be disclosed. Listen and learn how the system costs women their lives.
Tune in Tonight at 11:00PM EST/ 10:00PM CST/ 8:00PM PST


Or you can listen to the re-broadcast just by going to http://www.justiceinterrupted.blogspot.com/: turn up the volume on your computer and the show will automatically play.
Also be sure to head over to Women In Crime Ink after midnight 6/10/2008 to read and comment on my latest post.

Monday, June 8, 2009

"Teaching Victims A Lesson?"


In an article titled “Slain mother’s fate could teach victims a lesson” referring to the recent murder of former Chicago police wife Irma Rodriguez who was shot numerous times and stuffed in the trunk of her car written by Chicago Sun-Times journalist Mary Mitchell, sadly this is not by any means a lesson.

A lesson perhaps would have been better served had the columnist spoke to the experts, people like myself, who have been in the trenches with victims of violence for over 20 years. First and foremost a domestic violence relationship is as specific as an individual’s own DNA. The victims like Irma fight each day just to stay alive. Irma Rodriguez did not have a free get out of jail card to simply allow her to leave her abusive and controlling husband.

In the article Mary Mitchell says “Irma’s best chance to save herself came in 1997, when her husband was arrested with attempted murder”, incorrect unless you happen to be a fly on the wall and know for a fact that Irma’s husband Norberto Rodriguez gave a direct order to his wife that if she did not change her story to the police he would kill she and the children. And the State’s Attorney’s office at the time offered little if anything other than lip service to assist her out of her deadly hell.

My own mother had little chance of living past the age 47, when after my parents divorced, my police detective father who by the way was still in control, murdered my mother because he was never going to allow her to live her life on her own terms. These women understand the dangers of living with their violent abuser. Often they feel it is better to keep their enemy close by remaining in the roller coaster relationship and waiting until their children are old enough and out of harm’s way before they make their move to safety. And many don’t make it. The abuser is so angry, eventually, he will kill her.

As a society we continue to look away with regards to crimes involving intimate relationships. Funding for animal shelters surpasses that of battered women shelters and services 6 to 1. And going to a shelter is not an option for many women.

Frankly, the word “lesson” is insulting especially when these victims eat, sleep and drink the lessons of fists and terror from their abusers on a daily basis.


Where are the police and prosecutors who suddenly become deaf when women go to them for assistance? Currently, I am working with several women where the police refused to do their jobs. Or the prosecutors failed at taking their calls or following up on charges. A few too many times of calling and asking for help gets old when your pleas fall on deaf ears. Kathleen Savio is a poor example of what does not happen as a victims pounds on the door for assistance only to wind up six feet under.

Perhaps a corporate sponsor within the Chicago Sun-Times or a corporation concerned with preventing murder like General Electric, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Coregis and any of the other companies who would benefit from a comprehensive strategy for saving lives created from women who lost their lives and would like to contact me so I can reach women like Irma, Kathleen, Stacy, Jackie, Theresa, Anna and so many others before they are murdered.

Maybe people can tune into Justice Interrupted Investigates on Tuesday, June 9, 2009 at 11:00PM EST, and hear how the system is failing a police officers wife where law enforcement have refused to do their jobs as blood ran down her face when she called for help. Then in a divorce action a judge in domestic relations in civil court literally has screwed over this woman all in the name of police connections and judicial closed door deals in chambers. So if she should die, is that a lesson for women? Or a system refusing to do anything?

Question: Why isn’t there an all points bulletin out for Norberto Rodriguez?

Friday, June 5, 2009

"Mourning Mommy"


The haunting call from a young teenager nearly 16 years ago would be one of several I would receive during my career from children whose mothers were murdered at the hands of their father.

Some kids have called to ask does the pain every stop while others just want to learn the truth behind the women who gave them life. Someplace in the conversation would always be the question, Why? How could this have happened? "My mom was such a good person and she didn't deserve to be murdered.

During this particular call the young man was angry that his father did not go to jail for killing his mother. "How did my father walk from a slam dunk case" Edward asked. I comforted him as best I could trying in someway to relieve his pain with similar unanswered questions, I too, had when my own father murdered my mother. Before I ended the call I said" you and I in a private club, whose membership is growing."

Who would ever believe, years later in another state as I was ending a conversation with a women whose father had also killed her mother, Edward now a man in his early thirties with a family of his own would hear me repeat those very words as he stood before me. "Your name, what's your name" Edward demanded to know. I responded with another name that I use for safety reasons. "No, no! That is not your name. Your that women I spoke with", as he explained
his own private hell to me. "There is only one person I ever heard say what you just told that called and she helped me figure out things after I learned my father killed my mom."


The next day Edward came to me with documents from 1974, the year his mother Judy Topp was murdered. Edward had already gone through old case files, talking with officers who were listed on police reports and court files. Nothing made sense.


"I kept having these terrible nightmares-I was walking through an apartment building with so many doors-I walked through the last door until I came across my father sitting up in bed without his shirt, next to a woman with half her head blown off. It was mother he killed, my dream was real." After further investigation we learned Edwards father had hired a lawyer for $10,000 and got him acquitted during a bench trial.

Recently, we spoke. "Somedays I want justice, and other days I just want to die. I can never be close to people again. I don't feel whole-like I am incomplete somehow. No one see's the real me. I feel like I am living a lie.

I want to honor my mother, but that is not really possible. Maybe somehow from heaven the words from my heart can reach her now. Edward's mother would be proud of how her son out in the world . And yes, as long as she lives in his heart, the angels will always carry the message of his love and honor for a woman who died without justice being served. Judith Top was born on January 28, 1953 and died on November 23, 1974.
This is a topic untouched. Fathers murdering women and leaving their children behind with unanswered questions. On June 10, 2009 at 3:00PM Central time, on The Susan Murphy Milano show, we will discuss the topic of children whose fathers have killed their mothers. It is an important subject. As the lives of the children who witness violence and terror in their homes if they survive, live the remainder of their days on earth often in darkness and without hope.
Please join me for this very special hour.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

How To Avoid Being A Victim At Your Own Crime Scene


It is difficult for anyone involved in any type of domestic violence relationship or married to a manipulative, controlling person.

If you do not want to become the victim at your own crime scene then I suggest you listen to today’s show.


WE will also discuss the case of Nikki McPhatters. Tragically, she was shot and her body burned and disposed of in her own car. She returned to the scene of the crime so to speak, by deciding to confront a man whom she met online and dated. We will talk about this and other cases where life choices including confrontation, break-up or pending divorce cost women their lives.


The Susan Murphy Milano Show airs every Wednesday @ 4 PM ET/ 3 CT / 2 MT/ 1 PT

Today on the Susan Murphy Milano show Guest Anny Jacoby, Owner/President of The Realistic Female Self-Defense Company, is a survivor of domestic violence. She advocates that every female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself. It is important that every female has access to readily available, practical self-defense training. At age we all must be prepared to protect ourselfs against assaults and abductions.


Tracey Mutz, her life still in danger, filed criminal charges against her former boyfriend Sheriff Deputy Allan Wayne Schaeffer who was fired after a news reporter investigated the brutal beating of Tracey Mutz, who filed domestic violence charges against him. The former sheriff was charged with aggravated rape and 2nd degree battery.
____________________________________
TONIGHT Join Me On Denny Griffin's show
Juror Thirteen

Date / Time: 6/3/2009 8:00 PM CST

Call-in Number: (646) 478-0982

Tonight we'll discuss crimes against children and domestic violence with Robin Sax and Susan Murphy-Milano. Robin is a 15-year Los Angeles County prosecutor specializing in prosecuting sex crimes against children. Susan is an advocate for victims of domestic violence. Both women are co-hosts on the popular BTR show Justice Interrupted.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Key Witness From The Grave


A key witness in the murder trial of Theresa Parker died this past weekend. But, thank God the Prosecutor was on the ball and there is now a videotaped deposition in this case.

You remember Sam Parker the former Atlanta Police Sergeant accused of killing his estranged wife, Theresa Parker, who disappeared in March 2007. He also faces three other felonies — computer invasion of privacy, obstructing justice and violation of his oath as a law officer.
Mrs. Cordell, a neighbor of Parker's, testified via deposition for Floyd County District Attorney Leigh Patterson in May.

No surprise that Sam Parker’s lawyer, David Dunn, argued that allowing a deposition would violate his client’s constitutional right to face his accusers. He said the prosecution should bring its witnesses to court as everyone else does. And if you recall Theresa'a body has never been found.

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