The Susan Murphy Milano Show, Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 3:00PM Central Time

Tune in Live: 3:00PM CST 4:00PM EST

Flashbacks are like a time machine. You literally re-live it in every way down to your visceral responses and the same exact thoughts going through your mind. You attempt to scramble back into the present tense, only to get thrown back into the event you are trying to forget.
Police Officers and those in the military often experience a roller coaster ride on what is call "post tramatic stress syndrome'. But what about victims of abuse and child sexual assault? Or the repressed memories that reek havoc on people's lives years later. Those affected by violence and any experience which alters ones life, needs to tune into today's show.

Todays Guests:
Timothy J. Hayes, Psy.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in private practice in Crystal Lake, Illinois. With over thirty years of successful experience, doing therapy with individuals and families Dr. Hayes integrates mind/body energy techniques into a client-friendly model. This model emphasizes that people possess within themselves the resources necessary to deal effectively with a wide variety of problems and challenges.

Dr. Hayes specializes in relieving post-traumatic stress (PTSD)symptoms. He has helped countless individuals and families resolve the effects of severe trauma, whether recent or in the distant past. These traumas include; verbal, physical, emotional and sexual abuse, as well as severe physical trauma and loss. Due to his experience and ability to integrate a range of therapeutic techniques, he helps clients in the most cost-effective and time-efficient way possible.

LISA MARIE FIORESE MICHELS born in Bayonne, NJ. Currently living in Virginia Beach. She is a Mother, Wife, Survivor, and Board Member of Project Meridian Foundation fighting Human Trafficking. Ttheir mission is to rescue and rehabilitate victims of human trafficking

Join Susan Murphy Milano and Delilah from the site peace4missing.ning.com as we bring you a information that saves lives.

Go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

Or listen later in a podcast. Each new show automatically plays on this site until the new scheduled broadcast. Just grab yourself a cup of coffee and turn up the volume on your computer.

Justice Interrupted Live, Tuesday April 28, 2009 at 11:00PM EST

Live: 8:00PM PST / 10:00PM CST / 11:00PM EST

Guests: Dr. Lillian Glass is one of the world's most well respected and foremost authorities in the field of Communication. known as "The First Lady of Communication" she has authored over a dozen books, including the best-sellers Toxic People - 10 Ways of Dealing with People Who Make Your Life Miserable; He Says She Says, and her current book, I Know What You're Thinking - Using the Four Codes of Reading People to Improve Your Life., available in almost every language, around the world. Dr. Glass has had private practices in both Beverly Hills, California and New York City, where her clients have included celebrities, politicians, and world leaders. She lectures worldwide.

Klara Moradkhan Klara is the cousin of Silva at http://www.freesilva.org/ who has been wrongfully detained and tortured in an Iranian prison. Klara is trying to raise awareness about Silva's situation.

To listen live go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/justiceinterrupted and click on the "Click to Listen" icon.You might want to refresh your page because the icon will not show until the show begins.

Call in live at: 914-338-0663 to participate in the show.To comment on the shows Click Here!Or listen to the podcast after the show

Join Hosts: Robin Sax Prosecutor and Author, Author Stacy Dittrich, Advocate and Author Susan Murphy-Milano as they provide justice for those whose lives have been interrupted by rape, murder, child sexual predators, strange and unexplained disappearances............

Manhunt For College Professor

Police are searching for George M. Zinkhan III, the 57 year old professor. He is armed and dangerous.

On Saturday after a heated argument, the professor return with two guns 47-year-old Marie Bruce ( his ex-wife and mother of their two children), Ben Teague, 63 (the senior member of the community), and Tom Tanner, 40 (actor who worked at the University of Georgia.)

It is likely he's somewhere on the hills of Georgia. If he is still alive chances are he has gone to a store out of the way in a small town that would not have security cameras and purchased a razor to shave his beard and possibly the top of his head, altering his appearance.

His resume indicates he is a Coca-Cola Company Professor, Department of Marketing and Distribution at the University of Georgia. And he is a co-author of 2 books.

He doesn't sound like a killer? But then again, they never do!

Lending Your Voice's

Shortly before Barbara Vanaman wife and mother of 2 boys was gunned down in her kitchen by then Sergeant Robert Vanaman the following was found on her computer:

"She wrote in that computer, 'I don't know all the future holds for me. And I'm scared of what will happen in the future'..."

On Monday, April 27, 2009, Robert Vanaman who plead guilty to his wife’s murder last month will be sentenced before a judge. Many are concerned the former cop will not receive much of a sentence based on the fact he and his family are well known in the community. But, you have an opportunity to make a difference and be heard. The family has requested letters to be sent to the judge.

We [the family] are asking that letters be addressed to: The Honorable Judge Martin Herman. Please let him know how you feel and what you think. You must sign the letter. There cannot be any anonymous letters. Please fax your letter to (856) 447-1169 by Monday morning. In advance, the family of Barbara would like to thank you for your help and cooperation.

Please consider lending your voice in hopes the judge does not give Robert Vanaman probation or a reduced sentenced.

"Mommy, Please Wake Up"

He had a pattern of violence, including six arrests for disorderly conduct and three for battery. Five of the incidents were domestic disturbances. He was arrested for disorderly conduct and domestic violence and the bastard had serious bipolar and depression problems. He was dangerous.

Erica Ostenson, 24-years old single mother of 5 year-old Damon briefly dated this violent man whom I am not naming in this post.

Eric told “him” the relationship was over. He was angry and violent and Erica knew it was not healthy and more importantly safe for either she or her son, Damon. “If you don’t give me another chance at us, I’m going to do something you will regret.” Erica responded by telling “him” it’s best if they move on. She had already starting dating someone knew. “He” blew up and stated making serious threats against the lives of her son, the new relationship and her. “My life does not work unless you are with me. Accept my marriage proposal, you’ll see, things will be great.”
“No, Erica, said. It’s over, please leave.” He continued to text Erica “one more chance, please me” said one text message. Another text message read “don’t do anything you are gonna regret.”

He circled the area where Erica lived with Damon. “He” would get out of his car go up to the front door and demand to be let in to her home to talk.

Wednesday morning Damon didn’t have school. He was on the couch watching his favorite cartoon. There was a loud knock at the door.

“He” entered the home, Erica screamed for him to leave. “He” pulled out a gun, with Damon in the corner of the living room watching. “He” fired his weapon emptying it into Erica’s body and fled the scene into his car and drove away. Leaving behind a 5 year -old child to sit in the blood soaked carpet trying to wake up Mommy.”

It is important to document every text message, phone call , stalking incident and make a police police. In this town where Erica lost her life, police could have done more to intervene. They could have had training on domestic violence in this town of 59,729 residents. It is not the reason Erica lost her life. But, it is factor for many women like Erica who do not know their options for pressing new charges or insisting police make a report on every single incident.

There are so many of these tragedies, it no longer matter's where they lived or the name of the person who stole their lives. What is important is that we stop acting as though this crisis doesn't exist. Reaching a level I had hoped, I would never witness in my own lifetime.

Information and importanr safety strategies for anyone involved in an abusive or stalking relationship have been created to save lives. Sadly, created because women such as my mother were murdered because their cries for help fell on deaf ears.

Go to the library or visit my site and get a copy of my books, "Moving Out, Moving On" and "Defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. Turn up the volume on your computer and listen to this weeks radio show on Religion and domestic violence. Share this important resource with others in your community. You will save lives. This information can be used to relationships including women married to abusive police officer or person's in the military.

Second Hand Smoke

If you are in a domestic violence relationship, especially if you have children, no matter their age, you are passing on the same fears in their lives, similar to second hand smoke. A child growing up in an abusive home grows up to live without hope and in fear. And they will either become a victim or an abuser when they grow up. Please, if have time, listen to yesterday's broadcast with Pastor Neil Schori and Tanya Warrington.

It is simple, turn on your computer sound and the show will automatically play. If you want to download it to a podcast go Here. Or, consider joining a support group who will be waiting provide information and guidence on your journey to a life without violence.

Survivor’s Guilt- feelings of guilt while mom or other siblings are being beaten.

Emotional shut down from seeing a parent beaten, shoved, chased, or verbally abused.

Constant sadness at what is happening in their home. The child must cope alone with the violence.

Overwhelming feeling of responsibility. Usually the child feels they did something to cause the abuse.

Nervous system overload/burnout. Repeated stress and trauma results in an unhealthy separation from the child’s feelings.

Despair and depression. The child feels as though the conflicts are never going to end and the situation will never change.

Having to go to school, concentrate, taking tests after a horrible night of fighting or while working about a parents safety.

Angry outbursts by the child or stepping in to stop the abuse. Child takes on “caregiver” role.

Numbing the sadness, pain and loss with food, drugs, alcohol when their home is not a safe, secure, predictable place.

Difficulty sleeping/wanting to sleep through the fights. Wanting to escape from the house.


Absolute powerlessness to stop the attacker or save loved ones.

Being repeatedly thrown to a state of panic/confusion (i.e. not knowing what to do…they want a way to stop this… somebody’s going to die).

Unbearable feeling of isolation, no one to tell, no one will believe, no one will help.

Stomach searing; gut wrenching, body crumpling pain, from watching those that they love hurt over and over.

Exhaustion from lack of sleep during night battles. Unable to function productively during the day

The Susan Murphy Milano Show: Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 3:00PM Central Time

Controversy was abuzz when Pastor Rick Warren made the statement that he counsels women to stay in an abusive marriage and try to work things out with their abuser rather than seek divorce. On this show we will hear from a former victim of abuse and a pastor who counsels women and men in troubled relationships. We will discuss how God intervenes to rescue and heal victims and how churches are advising victims to safely resolve the issues of violence in their families.

Tine In: 3:00Pm Central Standard Time 4:00PM Eastern Standard Time

Today's Guests:
Tanya Warrington is a freelance writer with over 50 publications in magazines and anthologies. She was formerly a victim of incest, teenage date rape, spousal abuse, and the mother of children who were assaulted by a pedophile. Her life used to be just about surviving and keeping her emotions as numb as possible, until God rescued her and began healing her. Now Tanya inspires other victims and former victims to pursue living, not just surviving. Her blog, DazzlingWings.blogspot.com, is a warm and encouraging place where wounded hearts can learn and grow as they share their journeys of healing. She is the author of two booklets: How to Help Her: A Guide for Family and Friends of Abused Wives and Girlfriends and Shining the Light: How Pastors and Church Leaders Can Help Abused Wives.

Neil Schori serves as lead pastor of Naperville Christian Church. Neil has a Master of Arts in counseling from Lincoln Christian Seminary. Over the past 10 years, Neil has served full-time in several pastoral roles ranging from family care and counseling to community groups and assimilation. Just months before her disappearance, Stacy Peterson, called Pastor Schori for an individual appointment. Shortly after she went missing, Pastor Shori courageously stepped forward with information that Stacy confided in him about her knowledge of her husband, Drew Peterson's involvement with the death of his third wife, Kathleen Savio. We will learn what advice and methods are used in his sessions and how he believes God and the church works with these women during their journey. http://resurrectedheart.com/http://www.napervillechristian.org/

Go to http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano and listen for your computer live. Or listen later in the week via podcast.

"One Little Act of Violence"

Amanda and George were engaged to be married this summer, when Amanda father became critically ill. Amanda's parents were divorced and she was the only child born into the marriage.
Amanda put her life on her to take care of her father, postponing the wedding.

Amanda, an executive with a major financial institution, said that George was romantic, sensitive and attentive during their 4-year courtship. Without having a reason, he would send her flowers at work and he was always there for her.

Three weeks ago Amanda's father died, she was devastated. Even George could not console her. In an effort to comfort Amanda, George insisted they get married right away. When Amanda did not respond the way George expected, he screamed at her. Later apologizing for his outburst.

Several days past and Amanda had yet to set a firm date. George snapped. The couple had a loud, ugly screaming match. George grabbed Amanda by the shoulders and violently shook her. With her head pinned up against the wall, George thrust Amanda's head into the sharp corner of the livingroom wall. The pounding into the wall caused Amanda's head top open and bleed. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Please lets get into the car and go to the emergency room," said George.

Amanda said she was too stunned to do anything other then comply with George and go to the hospital. He insisted on going into the treatment room with Amanda. But a nurse intervened
and said because George was not a blood relative, he had to be seated in the waiting room.
The nurse took pictures of Amanda's injuries before the doctor came in to stitch her up.
An hour later 2 police officers came into the treatment room to take her statement. The nurse at the hosptial had contacted the police. George was placed under arrest when he would be held until the next morning for a bond hearing before a judge.

When Amanda and I met we discussed George's background. Had she married him, the violence would have no doubt escalated. Amanda did not connect George's violent childhood.
He grew up in a home where violence was common. His own mother was treated as though she did not matter. This set the stage for George to follow in his own father's footsteps.
Amanda wisely decided to end the relationship the first time George became violent.

Far too often when victims allow men to talk them into overlooking "one little act of violence", whether it is an argument, or you have been punched or slapped, just once. You may not get a second chance.

There are no "little"acts of abuse. Each time their is an outburst or a threat of bodily harm, it could lead to serious injury, or death.

You may not see yourself in danger. You may read stories of women murdered and think to
yourself, "I have everything under control. That will never happen to me."

Think again! Please before you decide to leave your relationship seek the services of a mental heath professional. Contact the National Coaltion Against Domestic Violence at
1-800-799-SAFE, asking for a referal to a counselor. Read up on the subject . See yourself in these situations. Go to the library and pick up a copy of "defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe. Go to http://www.peace4themissing/ and join the abuse support group. Join me every Wednesday at 3:00PM Central Time and listen for suggestions on how to leave.

But do something about changing the control and abuse you surround yourself with like a dangerous toxic drug. I assure, someone will be on the other side waiting to find a way out.

If my mother were here, she would tell you , no one deserves to live in fear. But my mother is not here. She lost her life to domestic violence.

The Book Time's Up will be available at Amazon and in bookstores, July of 2009.

This book is a guide to survival for anyone considering leaving an abusive relationship with life saving strategies including current technology abusers use to track their victims. It gives anyone in an abusive relationship the tools to leave with your life. It provides detailed, step-by-step information and describes what steps need to be taken before a victim announces they are leaving or filing for divorce in order to ensure a safe departure from the abuser (the book lays out how to survive, how to get police to respond, legal options, creating important changes in your life to be safe, creditors, daycare, technology strategies). It also describes the importance of creating an evidentiary abuse affidavit and your own safety video.

All But My Soul

(The Connolly Children)

I was asked to consult on a horrific case of a small child whose severe bruises and cries for help through our lovely and thoughtful court system fell on deaf ears.

If you are a parent or a family member of someone going through a nasty divorce or custody battle, I am asking that you pay close attention to this post.

I sat in a conference room watching a video tape of a small child. Happily playing about the house, that is until the doorbell rang. When the adult answered the door and the child sees who is there, piecing gut wrenching screams come out of this child in a way I have never heard before.

"Please Mommy. Mommy. Don't let him take me, please, please help, help it goes on and on for what felt like forever, it was hard for me to be composed as I watched a father take the child up over their shoulder and out to the car. This was not a child over reacting who didn't want to go with daddy. This is a child who feared for their safety, without exception. The tapes included two solid months of video visitation. On this last visit the child returned with severe bruises. You would think the first immediate contact would be the Illinois Department of Children & Family Services, no it would not. The agency is overburdened, no excuse, but it is and in this case the child is too young to specifically give details upon this return visit or any other according to the child welfare worker when the mother tried to make out a report with the agency.

Next step was a forensic child abuse specialist. There are few experts available in the area of child forensics and the waiting list for an appointment takes months.

Throughout this ordeal the mother had been contacting the child's attorney referred to by the courts as a "guardian ad litem" a fee based attorney who is appointed by the courts to represent the best interest of the child or children in divorce cases. And the child's attorney never returned a single phone call to the mother during these two months.

If a mother does not turn over a child where there is court ordered visitation, parent (any parent) will be in violation of that court order and subject to a court fine and arrested.

It took a lot of phone calls and visits to the court house, the old, who you know, not what you know to have visitation temporally suspended. And in this case the child's lawyer had heard the phone messages and decided to sneak a motion in the back door to have another person pick up the child for visitation, this motion has now been overturned. And for the time being the father's visitation has been suspended, pending further investigation.

I do not know how much investigation, if any, is required when you have such strong evidence, but at least he is prohibited from seeing the child, for now anyway.

The child's attorney was just trying to save his sorry butt, instead of protecting the minor child. This is just one single case out of hundred's of thousands that take place in divorce courts across the country.

Yes, I realize there are disciplinary systems in place to deal with incompetent lawyers, but, a system such as this is poor at policing and monitoring themselves throughout the country.

In a divorce where their are children, the first priority should be the welfare of the wee ones. Case after case, clearly that is not happening and it is getting worse as we have seen in the murders of Duncan Connolly age 7 and Jack Connolly age 9, murdered by their father during visatation.

Some things you can do: No matter what your attorney says, make sure you are at each court appearance, even when they tell you it's just a status hearing. You are paying for a lawyer to represent you, You not paying for foot shuffle and lip service that does not represent your best interests.

Create a phone log with a time and date of everyone your leaving message as it pertains to your divorce or custody case and what you said oin a message or to an actual voice.

A simple idea would be to create a log on your computer email it to yourself and then print it off. This is important, it will show the dates and times of each contact and activity regarding your case.

If you suspect child abuse, call the child protective agency in your state and make a report over the phone, Be sure to get the name and extention of the person with whom you spoke.

Next contact your lawyer, explain what you believe is happening. If you feel your not getting anyplace, take the child to your family doctor, or call around to hospitals and ask for a doctor who specializes in abuse cases, if possible. If there are marks on the child take pictures and or use a video camera. Your cell phone may also take pictures consider using that and emailing to your computer.

It's also very important to remain as calm as possible, be patient during this process.

Do not take matters into your own hands and stop visitation let the professionals handle the alleged allegations.If your lawyer is not addressing your needs, not responding or representing you properly, begin looking for a new attorney.

Do not be afraid of the legal system. Do not let your attorney bargain out your life, it may not be in your best interest, only in theirs, as is with many cases.

An excellent book on the subject is "All But My Soul, Abuse Beyond Control" buy Jeannne I. King, PhD. She will also respond to emails and is often hired as a consultant in these cases where child custody and abuse are suspected. Her Website is: http://www.allbutmysoul.net/

I have committed a legal taboo. I do so only for the sake and safety of the children. Disclaimer: I, AM A LAWYER. The Information I have provided is based on my opinion and experience only. It is not to be taken or used as legal advice. It is purely for information to assist you in making informed decision. Please seek proper legal advice from a lawyer.

Author of "Defending Our Lives" (Doubleday), and "Moving Out Moving On" when a relationship goes wrong

America's Voiceless: The Children of Divorce

When 2 people begin a new relationship, it is as though Cinderella and her Prince have stepped out of the childhood story book we all read as kids.

A more realistic way to look at it is to think of it as two people who are running for office, campaigning to be in the other person's life. Forget that it is not who they will be later in life. We are too busy getting the other person to "choose us" so we can live happily ever after.

There is, bad habits early on in the relationship we never see. For instance, leaving dirty clothes scattered, drinking directly out of the juice carton, putting a dirty knife back in the drawer and watching from around the corner as they lick it clean, washing is too much effort. Both sides hide their bad habits when they begin dating, because they are too busy running for the highest office in the country, ultimately the office of marriage and parenthood.

This fantasy quickly fades as people grow together in a relationship. Unfortunately, about sixty percent grow apart during the marriage. When the marriage ends it is like a house set on fire. All desired hopes, dreams and commitment cherished by both sides, up in smoke. But, we forget that the child of this relationship has yet to lay the foundation of their lives.

Divorce on any level, is devastating. For children, their warm, safe world is suddenly shattered like a broken toy, in pieces. When parents begin to divorce, do they really stop and think about the children? All too often, the children fall under the invisible heading of "power base" or worse yet, "negotiable".A child's life during a divorce is like a roller coaster, going up minute and down the next. Parents are keeping score of their child's affection as though they were at a sporting event. Both parents fear losing ground as though their competition, the other parent, chips away at there own individual "power base". This is an automatic reaction during a divorce. If only parents would stop for a moment and realize, that children have unconditional love for each of them.

Children were not beamed down from space to earth. They were conceived and brought into this world with the greatest expectations, and most of all love. By two people the child calls mother and father. These two people have forgotten that being a parent, role model and teacher, means not putting down the other. Or using the children to emotionally beat up the "competition". Because, being a parent is a privilege!

A divorce is like a funeral. Of course, there is no casket or service. But the process is the same."Funeral" services begin when the parties enter their lawyers office, (I call them legal funeral representatives) they help prepare for the death of their clients marriage.The lawyers seek out personal, confidential information about you, only to file it in a public record for the world to see.Attached to this public record filing is a detailed financial description, (yours) of personal property and assets acquired during the marriage. Somewhere between page 11 or 15 of the divorce agreement, your children are listed, like an asset, by name and age. And on yet another page, you will find the "children", stating who gets custody when, on what days, with specific times and for how long. Can't forget the holiday schedules, this appears on yet another page of the divorce decree. This page looks more like a major event schedule, trading odd and even years off during the holidays.If parents would think for a moment and get off their "power base", they should be able to work out these very private details among themselves.

Months, and in some cases years later a judge, whom I refer to as the coroner (no disrespect intended) sit before strangers, in a court of law, with people whom once vowed to love, honor and cherish each other all the days of their lives, ask if all parties are in agreement, with the tap of his gavel, signs the death certificate (known more commonly as the divorce decree. I for one think this process is a crime. We allow total strangers to settle our once very happy lives. The greater crime, however, is the children, divided up among the parents like a piece of property.

They are the "Voiceless Victims."© 2009- Susan Murphy Milano About the Author: Susan Murphy Milano, is a respected author and nationally recognized relationship expert.Her new book Moving Out,Moving On, when a relationship goes wrong is available on E-book, Borders and Amazon.com She has been
trumpted across the pages of newspapers, magazines, radio and televison, including, Oprah, CNN, MSCNBC, ABC, NBC, 20/20. http://www.susanmurphymilano.com/

Crossing Your Fingers and Living in Fear

Relationships with narcissists drag out slowly and tortuously. Narcissists do not provide closure. They stalk. They cajole, beg, promise, persuade, and, ultimately, succeed in doing the impossible yet again: sweep you off your feet, though you know better than to succumb to their spurious and superficial charms. So, you go back to your "relationship" and hope for a better ending. You walk on eggshells.

You become perfect picture of submissiveness, a weak source of narcissistic supply, the ideal mate or spouse or partner or colleague. You keep your fingers crossed. But how does the narcissist react to the resurrection of the bond? It depends on whether you have re-entered the liaison from a position or strength - or of vulnerability and weakness.

The narcissist casts all interactions with other people in terms of conflicts or competitions to be won. He does not regard you as a partner - but as an adversary to be subjugated and defeated.

As far as the abuser is concerned, your return to the fold is a triumph, proof of his superiority and irresistibility. If he perceives you as autonomous, dangerously independent, and capable of bailing out and abandoning him - the narcissist acts the part of the sensitive, loving, compassionate, and empathic counterpart. Narcissists respect strength, they are awed by it. As long as you maintain a "no nonsense" attitude, placing the narcissist on probation, he is likely to behave himself. If, on the other hand, you have resumed contact because you have capitulated to his threats or because you are manifestly dependent on him financially or emotionally - the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and exploit your fragility to the maximum.

Following a perfunctory honeymoon, he will immediately seek to control and abuse you. In both cases, the narcissist's thespian reserves are exhausted and his true nature and feelings emerge. The facade crumbles and beneath it lurks the same old heartless falsity that is the narcissist. His gleeful smugness at having bent you to his wishes and rules, his all-consuming sense of entitlement, his sexual depravity, his aggression, pathological envy, and rage - all erupt uncontrollably.

The prognosis for the renewed affair is far worse if it follows a lengthy separation in which you have made a life for yourself with your own interests, pursuits, set of friends, needs, wishes, plans, and obligations, independent of your narcissistic ex and unrelated to him. The narcissist cannot countenance your separateness.

To the abuser, you are a mere instrument of gratification or an extension of his bloated False Self. He resents your pecuniary wherewithal, is insanely jealous of your friends, refuses to accept your preferences or compromise his own, in envious and dismissive of your accomplishments.

Ultimately, the very fact that you have survived without his constant presence seems to deny him his much-needed Narcissistic Supply. He rides the inevitable cycle of idealization and devaluation.

He berates you, humiliates you publicly, threatens you, destabilizes you by behaving unpredictably, fosters ambient abuse, and uses others to intimidate and humble you ("abuse by proxy").

You are then faced with a tough choice: To leave again and give up all the emotional and financial investments that went into your attempt to resurrect the relationship - or to go on trying, subject to daily abuse and worse?

So much of what goes on in leaving an abusive relationship has to do with fear. What will happen to me? Who will take care of and love me? These questions are in everyone’s mind as they remain hostage in the abusive relationship and they prevent anyone in these situations from seeking help. Recognize that if abuse happens once, it happens again. So, know it and get away from it. Someone will be on the other side to help you. But most importantly, learn to love yourself.

If you have a chance please take time out to listen to today's radio show with Dr. Danthan Paterno, Heather Thompson and Harvard Law Professor Diane Rosenfeld. If you turn up the volume on your computer the show will automatically play. If you have questions, please email at contact@movingoutmovingon.com

The Susan Murphy-Milano Show: Live Wednesday April 15, 2009 at 3:00PM Central Time

1:00 pm Pacific--3:00 pm Central--4:00 pm Eastern

To listen live to todays show or participate in the chatroom go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano

Today's Guests:

Heather Thompson, the North Carolina Mother and "Success Survivor" will talk her current caseand offer words of wisdom to those currently in an abusive relationship.

Diane Rosenfeld is a Lecturer at Harvard Law School and former Senior Counsel for the Violence Against Women Office (now Office on Violence Against Women) at the US Department of Justice. She is involved in the national effort to promote the use of GPS monitoring of high-risk domestic violence offenders. And why courts are not incorporating the lethality assessment in all cases of abuse especially in divorce and child custody cases.

Dr. Dathan Paterno is a fully licensed clinical psychologist. He received his Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D.) at the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago. He is the author of the Book “Desperately Seeking Parents” and has been a guest on many shows including The Oprah Winfrey Show.

And Delilah from Peace4Missing will also join us.

If you miss todays show please return and listen to the podcast. Go to the website Susan Murphy Milano and go to the radio show tab.

If you are someone you know at work, church, your child's school know of someone that is or you suspect could be in an abusive relationship have them take time out and listen to the show. Remember, when one life is lost, we all lose!

Los Angeles Police Fails Child Abduction Case

 
On April 4, 2009, 10-year old Tomas Betsis-Dunstan from Pacific Palisades, was forcefully taken in what 5 witnesses say was a choke hold from his school by his father George Betsis and Australian businessman. The couple never married but there was long custody battle between the couple.

In addition, there is an ongoing investigation by Los Angeles child protective services are sexual in nature. Considering the imminent danger to Priscilla Dunston's own life the Los Angeles police department are refusing to do their jobs and issue a warrant. This includes the less than dynamic team within the Los Angeles County District Attorney Karen Strickland, who in my professional opinion is treating this case without importance to the life of 10-year of Tomas and his mother. If George Betsis planned and hired a private investigator for several months prior to abducting his son, Priscillia Dunston's life is in danger. This is classic domestic violence 101 and Damn the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office for refusing to do their job. Did they not learn from the murder of another victim, gunned down by her husband in January of 2008. Will they wait until blood starts dripping? And where is Steve Cooley hiding, under his official desk? Or is waiting for bloodshed before he writes an inter office memo to cover his Distrist Attorney behind?

Similar to the Jack and Duncan Connolly both taken during a visitation by their father who subsequently murdered the two young boys, the mother was not believed. The police as in this case allowed precious time to pass before finally releasing a missing person's number No. NR09175KS. But yet no amber alert.

In an interview airing early this morning Austrilia Time the father makes his case on television with this interview on the a curent affair exclusive. George Betsis is hiding out somplace an apartment in the Santa Monica, California area.

We will cover this case on Justice Interrupted Investigates, Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 10:00 PM CST to discuss the issues that a parent faces when in a relationship and is unable to get police assitance or justice in the safe return of their children.

Officers Wives Are Casualities in Husband Perperatred Homicide

When Theresa Parker a 911 dispatcher went missing, her story received national attention. It quieted down a bit until Stacy Peterson vanished and then there was renewed interest. But, for several months neither of these cases have received much attention. And my favorite "dickless wonder's" dance and addiction to the media spotlight does not count.

While former Georgia police Sgt.Sam Parker was arrested for Theresa's murder, Peterson remains uncharged. Maybe the Will County State's Attorney can consider turning over this case to a special prosecutor? Or contact the Georgia Prosecutor in the Parker case and ask for tips on how to make a "no body arrest and prepare for a trial."

Sam Parker, a former LaFayette police officer, is scheduled to have a preliminary hearing on April 17, 2009. After his wife, Theresa, disappeared in March 2007, Parker was charged with murder. He pleaded “not guilty” at a Feb. 4 arraignment, where six witnesses were called and recounted incidents where they said they were threatened by Mr. Parker or saw him behave violently. Parker will have another court appearance in May 17, records show, and both appearances will be in LaFayette with Judge Jon Boling Wood.

Denial Video

Each woman sought a divorce. Both of their husbands each claim their wives took a mystery trip. They both must have read the undercover detective book " how to dispose of your wife's body without a trace."

The body of Theresa Parker has never been found. And likely, never will.

The body of Stacy Ann Peterson, also has never been found. And likely, never will.

As the grand jury concludes their 18 months of ongoing testimony in the Peterson case(s) within the first week of May 2009, everyone is asking the question will Drew Peterson be charged?

Sadly, I do not have an answer.

http://www.newschannel9.com/news/parker_966169___article.html/arrested_sam.html

http://www.newschannel9.com/news/parker_966827___article.html/sam_bond.html http://news.tradingcharts.com/futures/1/2/107329221.html http://www.newschannel9.com/articles/newschannel9_11462___article.html/attachments_href.html http://behindthebluewall.blogspot.com/2008/02/ga-others-were-afraid-of-missing.html

http://www.murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/
http://timesfreepress.com/news/2009/apr/07/georgia-parker-preliminary-hearing-date-set/?breakingnews

Fatal Vows

In case you missed todays show with News Reporter and Author of Fatal Vows: The Wives of Sgt. Drew Peterson by Joseph Hosey, the link is below. We discussed not only the tragedy of Kathleen Savio and Stacy Peterson but what you need to do to be safe in an abusive relationship. Also on the show Police Perpertated Domestic Violence Advocate Susan Rhoades.

"Fatal Vows" The Drew Peterson Case 4/8/2009 - SusanMurphyMilano on Blog Talk Radio

A new show airs weekly every Wednesday at 3:00PM Central Standard Time. Next weeks guests include Heather Thompson and Diane Rosenfeld from Harvard Law School.

Keeping Heather Thompson Alive: Justice Interrupted

Heather Thompson in 1994

She was beaten close to death.

With as loud of a voice as she can muster, she speaks out! Maybe because Thomas price, Jr. who beat her and left Heather for dead has been in prison, for years she has survived. But Heather Thompson’s story and that of her abuser, Thomas Price, Jr., is not over yet. Price is soon to be released from a South Carolina Federal prison.

Like a caged and dangerrous animal, Thomas Price, Jr., has remained behind bars. As with most violent abusers, Price is counting the days when he once again resume what he was unable to finish in 1994, murder.

Heather Thomas requires our help to remain alive once Price is released. She share's her story

on Justice Interrupted Investigates:

Tuesday, April, 7, 2009

11:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

To learn more go to http://www.justiceinterrupted.blogspot.com/

Special co-host Diane Diamond joins us while Robin Sax is on book tour with her new release of:

Predators and Child Molesters: What Every Parent Needs to Know to Keep Kids Safe (Paperback)

Derrick Yancey Double Murderer Escapes From House Arrest & GPS Monitoring Device

A double murder suspect released on bond, placed on house arrest slipped out of his GPS device and escaped.

Eleven hours later the monitoring company alerted officials, Derrick Yancy, 49 years of age is missing. According to his attorney who says his client is innocent the poor soul had been depressed for several days. No telling where Yancey went, he is armed and dangerous.

The former DeKalb County, Georgia Sheriff, charged with the double murder of his wife Linda Yancy and day laborer Marocal Puluc was allowed to make bail and placed on house arrest in August of 2008.

Now, armed and dangerous Yancy is on the run. Why isn't he behind bars?

This case has had a foul odor from day one!

Anyone with information should call the DeKalb Sheriff's Fugitive Squad at 404-298-8200.

The Susan Murphy Milano Show: Debuts Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wednesday April 8, 2009 at 3:00PM Central Standard Time


Join Susan Murphy Milano and her special guest: Joseph Hosey reporter and Author of "Fatal Vows The Tragic Wives of Sergent Drew Peterson."

We will take your questions live in the chat room discussing the dangers Stacy Peterson and Kathleen Savio endured while married to a violent abuser with a badge. And learn what you can do in preparing to leave with your life!Joining the panel are the administrator's of the Peterson Story Website and Police Perpetrated Violence Expert Susan Rhoades.

To listen live go to: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/susanmurphymilano and click on the "Click to Listen" icon. You might want to refresh your page because the icon will not show until the show begins.

Call in live at: 347-326-9337 to participate in the show.

Susan is the author of "Defending Our Lives, getting away from domestic violence & staying safe and Moving Out, Moving On when a relationship goes wrong. And her new book available in July 2009, "Time's Up, how to leave and survive a dangerous relationship."

Susan is an adult survivor of her parents' violent marriage. Her father, a Chicago Violent Crimes Detective, murdered her mother and then took his own life after the couple separated. Susan vowed to make changes after finding their lifeless bodies and trying to make sense of this tragedy.Susan has dedicated her life to changing the way society views abusive relationships and has been instrumental in doing that through legislation, media appearances, consultations, writing curriculum, speaking engagements, lectures and authoring books and online journals. Susan has worked tirelessly, dedicated to meeting the individual needs of all women and children in crisis and personally advocating for them through the legal process.Susan's quest for justice was instrumental in the passage of the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lauternberg Act.

She has been prominently featured in newspapers, magazines, radio and television including: The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Radio, ABC's 20/20, Justice Files, E-True Hollywood, CNN, Sunday Today Show Profile, Women's Day, Family Circle Magazine, U.S. News and World Report to name only a few.

Susan Murphy Milano is part of the "Justice Interrupted" team along with prosecutor and author Robin Sax, and retired police officer and author Stacy Dittrich. The team takes on cases for those whose lives have been interrupted by crime, including rape, murder, sexual predators of children, strange and unexplained disappearances, domestic violence, and cold cases yet to be solved.

Susan can be found as a contributing author on "Women In Crime Ink" which is a group of women from all walks of crime including true crime authors, prosecutors, attorneys, criminal profilers, and advocates for victims.

And on Peace4missing.ning.

Supervising Murder

[L]Jack age 7 [R] Duncan age 9

To read about the murders of Jack and Duncan Connolly by their father and the injustice within the family court system go Women In Crime, Ink.

Condolences and cards can be mailed to:

Amy Leichtenberg C/O The Johnson's

809 E Elm StreetLeroy

IL 61752

Family spokesperson Brandi Tuley is asking people to sign their name to an online petition that says Judge Souk should be held accountable for his contribution to the murders of Jack and Duncan Connolly by their father Michael Connolly.

You can view the petition at http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/justiceforjackandduncan/index.html.